God I am so far gone

get off the drugs user. there’s a better way to live

check yourself into rehab if you have to. people will be willing to help if you get honest.

>t. former opiate and cocaine addict

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I can't convince myself it's worth it. It's like starting to build a house of cards on top of another house that's about to collapse. Everyone is just telling me to do it like it's normal, how am I the only person who sees this is for nothing?

> colllege dropout meth addicted truck driver

Checks out

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Hi friend. I know what that feels like.. it took me 3 years to finish my last year of college. And I was in and out of rehab. Suffering from debilitating depression. Honestly there's no one thing that's going to get you out of it. I'd say for me what helped was connecting with other people, getting a doggo, and redirecting my degenerate side into slightly more productive avenues like crypto. Mainly get a dog. Do you have a dog user? Also go to rehab man. The minute I cut out the drugs I felt 1000s of times better man. If you're touching benzos or opiates just know that those are amplifying your pain a fuck ton. Good luck user, get a dog, find a qtπ, invest some of your drug money in something engaging like link or stocks, get outside, find a chess or poker or vidya group to make frens, eat some good food.

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>how am I the only person who sees this is for nothing?

You're not. You just decided to smoke meth and fuck whores to cope with the emptiness. Everyone else just drinks and ignores it.

>God I am so far gone.

>I have asked for so many chances, to get better. I swore I would, but like all the other times, I fail.

>I'm a drug addicted, friendless sexual degenerate with a future growing dimmer each day. I've been stuck in my senior year of uni for like 2 years now, I don't know what's going on.

>I try to get my life back on track every time, but it me we takes long for it to fall apart again.

>There's no carrot on the end of my stick, I hate my job, I can't convince myself to give a shit about school because I can't convince myself I'll be to get a better job if I do graduate.

>The future, for all of us is so fucking dark, and either nobody can see it, or they refuse to. In 20 years my country will be filled with a horse of third worlders bigger than today, and everything will be unrecognizable, wages will drop due to h1bs and other immigration, there is not a thing for me in this society, I'm beginning to worry this includes the rest of the world.

>I've saved 0 despite the first 3 years of my school being almost completely paid for by scholarships, and working 25 hours a week driving a shitty truck doing a shitty job which makes me blow it all on meth and sex every month.

>I've never met a girl while on vacation as a kid in a sleepy resort town my family is staying in and fall in love, I've never made up with a girl in the rain and kissed, I hate myself, I owe so much to so many people yet don't even call my grandmother, or any family member for that matter. I am always miles behind myself, always trying to catch up.

>I need help. I've needed help for so long.

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based soijackposter

>blow it all on meth and sex every month.
ngmi, chill out, clean up eat healthy. Be easier on yourself too. That’s the whole thing. Chill out, read, exercise, study, stretch, enjoy cooking

it really seems like there something inside you that pulls beneath the surface...
do you always feel consumed?
confused? a lack of self control, that you fear is neverending?

Blessed easter poster

Nigga, you need to get off meth. I was addicted to mixing alcohol and syrup (codeine, promethazine, sleeping pills, etc) for a few months. That shit fucking sucked and I finally quit after I had a darkness episode and my heart nearly stopped. You need to kick your meth habit before anything changes. Once you're sober your perspective will change. What sucks is that you're addicted to meth, a drug with like a 95% relapse rate. Only shit like Oxy has a higher rate. Get into rehab and get sober.

Reach out for help by finding a psychiatrist and therapist. Most schools offer these services to their students. It's basically impossible to function in this dystopic society without being on antidepressants. It can help you, if that's what you want.
>The future, for all of us is so fucking dark, and either nobody can see it, or they refuse to
You're not alone. A lot of people feel the same thing, even if they just don't know it yet. Just realize you don't really have as much control as you think you have. This will remove a huge burden from your shoulders and you'll start seeing the world for what it is. But seriously reach out to a mental health professional.

>The future, for all of us is so fucking dark, and either nobody can see it, or they refuse to. In 20 years my country will be filled with a horse of third worlders bigger than today, and everything will be unrecognizable, wages will drop due to h1bs and other immigration, there is not a thing for me in this society, I'm beginning to worry this includes the rest of the world.

You have fallen into the "what's the point anyway trap". The most dangerous and insidious of them all. Break free of that mindset. YOU are the driver of YOU, and nobody else. You are free to make your life better, or worse. YOU are holding yourself back, not society. Embrace your free will with joy and optimism. It's a strange and wonderful world we live in, and it's yours to enjoy. You don't owe anyone anything. You don't owe anyone to do something you don't want to do. You don't owe the world shit. You only owe it to yourself to live a happy life. Drugs can be part of a happy life, but seldom addiction. The choice is yours. Your life is now, right now, and you are allowed to be happy right now in this moment. The world offers unlimited amounts of choices and opportunities every day. Life is a weird, weird thing and it's fucking awesome if you think about it. Never forget, YOU are FREE!
Peace out nigga

Too long, didn't read

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I've written enough blank checks to who/whatever might be listening to eternally fuck me.

Yeah I get it. It's just I have literally not a single person to talk to, and Yas Forums is where I get most my social interaction. I was not even Invited to my parents Easter party. I know they are doing something smaller because of the virus, but they didn't even fucking invite me, my sister did who lives 3 fucking states over, she sent me a text saying happy Easter.

I dont know bros

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user, embracing nihilism is the easy path. It might be correct, but it certainly isn't right. For your own happiness, you must shove those feelings of hopelessness, uselessness, and fruitlessness down to a place where you'll never feel them again, and find your feelings of the genuine and pure again. Go to church if you need to. A spiritual purpose most easily accomplishes this, as a purely material living leaves you with nothing to nourish the soul.

Matthew 24:42

Fuck that. Forced to see a psychiatrist in highschool because I was withdrawing or whatever teens do and was diagnosed with depression, some anxiety disorder, and add, in like 3 sessions. The only pills that got me high were Adderall and Xanax, I never took the depression SSRIs or whatever, good thing I didn't they make you sterile. And depression is cope, not gonna take pills that long term rewire you to be happy with having a shitty life. My dad was on SSRIs his whole life, and fuck him too.

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do you have any link tokens?

im pretty serious. i know all the shilling here turns you off link at first

>you are free

But I'm not. I owe things to family, they've invested in me. My parents put up money for my college aprtment because I couldn't stand living in a ratbox with a roommate. I work for my uncle and he just pays me cash, he's in a tough spot, has been trying to expand his routes the past few years and can't afford to hire someone with insurance and everything, I wish I could just leave but I can't. That's a nice idea though, I wish I could just disappear without saying goodbye, drive down to a shitty run down town in Missouri or something, get a shitty job but I won't mind that it's shitty. Because it's a small community and I can just ignore the fucking outside world forever.

CRAAAWWWLLLLLLLINNNNNNGGGG INNNNNNN MYYYYYY ROLLLINNNNTHeeyyyynhaaaatttinnnn