>This economic data looks grim, I think to myself. >This is the right move. >I look to the cracked screen of my iPhone 5s. A single 6/19 SPY 200p. >I take a deep breath, and swipe up to submit the order. >I suddenly black out.
>I come to in a gray room, fluorescent lights humming above. >I'm upright in a metal chair, restrained, with my arms and legs zip-tied. >The only feature in the room is what I assume to be a Bloomberg Terminal in front of me (I've never seen one in real life). >A dizzying array of charts, numbers and symbols light up its dozen monitors. >In the center, the S&P 500. 2700. >Out of its bear market.
>I hear several sets of heavy footsteps approaching behind me. >I try to look, but can't move much. >I sense several burly men standing over my shoulders. >To my surprise, Jerome Powell steps in front of me. >I try to speak up but he cuts me off. >"What am I-"
>"Why did you short the domestic market?" he asks. >"Huh?" I respond, confused. >"Why did you short the domestic market?" he demands, louder this time. >"I, uh... the coronavirus is a global pandemic. It's going to cause-" >WHAM!
>One of the thugs behind me slams my head with something heavy. >It's a bundle of $100 bills. >They're still warm from the printing press, and the fresh smell of ink fills my nose. >It must be a million or more.
>"It's priced in," he says coolly. > "So why did you short the domestic market?"
>Dizzy from the blow, I notice the screen behind the Chairman. >The S&P has climbed back to 2850. >Impossible, I think to myself. >"Be-be-because unemployment is approaching 20 percent!" >I manage to answer. >WHAM!
>Another blow strikes me. >This time, a heavy bag filled with paper. >It explodes on impact, raining bond certificates like confetti all over the small room. >I catch a glimpse of some as they float to the ground. >Investment grade bonds from Ford. >Loans to cruise ship companies. >Loans to a taco truck.
>"Repeat after me: stocks only go up," Powell demands.
>I say nothing. >On the terminal behind him, the S&P has climbed well over 3000. >An involuntary guh escapes my mouth as it falls agape.
>Powell frowns and continues, "I'll ask you one more time: why did you short the domestic market?"
>I feel like I'm going to pass out again, but with all the strength I can muster I shout >"GDP declines are going to dwarf the Great Depression! The outbreak is far from over! Stimulating demand won't work if there's no supply! Social unrest is a real possibility! We're in uncharted ter-" >the hardest slam yet hits the back of my skull. >It's a massive stack of printer paper. >It falls to the floor with a thud. >Some sort of Excel spreadsheet is on it. >It's the Fed's balance sheet. >It must be tens of thousands of pages long. >I can't even count how many digits are in their asset balance.
>"Stocks only go up," Powell repeats. >Behind him, the chart shows the S&P has continued its rise at a blistering pace. >It leaves 3300 in the dust, making new all time highs.
>The first two blows to my head left me feeling woozy. >The third one, though, brought sudden clarity. Tears well up in my eyes, but they are not tears of sadness as my puts become worthless - oh no. >They are tears of joy. >Suddenly, I see it. >Suddenly, the truth rings out as clearly as if a chorus of angels has descended from Heaven to sing it into my ears. >How could I have been so wrong all these years? >In this moment, I am enlightened. >The pieces fall into place.
Take this "gay bear" shit back to r/wallstreetbets you fucking faggot.
Cooper Lopez
I don't even have anything invested, I just want to see the colapse to see you all go AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, can't convert me.
Filthy lucrative nothing new! While we all got cash from chaos! The time is right to do it now
Gabriel Reed
>but then, right after my conversion to bullcuckery >a giant red dildo fell from the sky >turning every single human being into a pink screaming creature >and now, from the squalor of my financial failure >i still ask to myself >"why i FOMOed?"
WSB == Yas Forums same lingo, same memes, same retards losing money
Jason Garcia
NOTHING IS OVER!! You asked me, I didn't ask you! And I did what I had to do to win, but Jerome wouldn't let us win! And I come back to the world, and I see all those Feds at the treasury, protestin' me, spittin', callin' me "bobo", and all kinds of vile crap! Who are they to protest me, huh?! Who are they, unless they been me and been there, and know what the Hell they're yellin' about?!
Jonathan White
This writes like the last pages of 1984. You know he died in the end, right?
Ian Cox
no he didn't.
Lincoln Young
Haven't you learned by now? Yas Forums saying it's gonna be red is almost 99.9% of the time a buy signal
