DID YOUR BROKE ASS GET EVICTED? Join the army. Retarded? No problem! Can't do a push up? No problem! As long as you've got a pulse and all 4 limbs they'll take you.
Benefits?
-Free healthcare
-Free food
-Free housing
-Free clothes
-Constant pay
-Maybe you'll get to shoot someone
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I think you’ll definitely get to shoot someone. I haven’t met someone my age from the armed forces yet that hasn’t killed someone.
What branch user? I'm about to graduate Stanford and thinking I might as well join with this crash
Want to get free PTSD? No Problem
Want to lose an arm and a leg ? No Problem
Want to defend your jewish masters financial interest with your own life in the worst shitholes you can imagine ? NO PROBLEM!
Shut up and read BAP
lol
they are larping
only SF kill
your friends washed their rifle for 5 years
I'd say Army only because you can choose your job. Get the job training then get out and make big money in the private sector.
Fuck off zogbot nigger faggot!!
99% of US military is chair force, only 1% is Seals/Special Forces
I would like to but will get denied because of my hearing disability.
lmao I'm pretty sure it's not even possible to talk to a recruiter now.
Oy vey you've seen right though mt
I went to basic with 3 dudes with scoliosis. They'll give you a waiver for almost anything now.
>I'd say Army only because you can choose your job
Redpill me on this. I'm Yas Forums, but i know very little about Army. Special Forces, would be best, no?
Scoliosis ranges from hunchback of notre dame to your spine being like a fraction of a degree off straight.
You can't just get into special forces from the beginning, you have to be in the regular army first, do really well, and then be recommended to try out for it. Getting into special forces is HARD.
Sure you want to do that?
cnn.com
You can go in as 18X, I know Snowden tried that but couldn't make it past basic and got medically chaptered.
Can't you with the Navy enlist as SpecOps and then if you fail all the tests, you get shafted somewhere?
What are the best MOS in Army that have the best ROI?
What are your thoughts on enlisting first in the National Guard and becoming an officer there?
We had a dude who looked like an S when he took his shirt off but that was the worst of it.
>Can't you with the Navy enlist as SpecOps and then if you fail all the tests, you get shafted somewhere?
That's what I thought, so the option does exist for Army then. What are some reasons why I would not enlist as 18X at first?
If you wanna do SF do guard as a 12B, 68W, or 11B so you have time to workout unlike actuve duty where they can call you up 24/7 for some dumb shit like painting rocks.
Constant pay is funny, imagine if a real job was listing their benefits and they're like "and that's not all... we'll even pay you for as long as you work here, constantly!"
If this post doesn't perfectly explain the American economy I don't what does.
I tried to go 18X right out of high school but you have be at least 20. From what I've heard if you go in as a 18X you go through basic then straight to selection and if you don't get selected they make you an 11B and that's probably the worst fate in all of the army because you're basically a glorified janitor/gardener but you get a blue cord and that makes up for it, somehow.
18x just gives you the chance to ATTEMPT to get into it. If you fail - and most do - they reassign you into regular infantry or anywhere else they need people.
The military is the most homosexual thing you could voluntarily sign up for in the 20th century.
Go army like the other guys said. If you have to go enlistment, try MI/35 series (35P - Crypto Linguist, is bretty good). If you want to become an officer, don't fret about job choice. I'm in ROTC (been enlisted for 8), and I'm going for something like Signal or Transportation because they all pay the same. Benefits are indeed great if you're an officer. You get base pay and a housing allowance. If you live on post you don't get a housing allowance but you pay no rent. Retire in 20 years with severance. You also get a GI which covers four years of school in case you want to get a graduate degree
11B's still do rank up quickly
> like the others guys said
Sane fagging glow niggers.
Army or Navy if you actually want to do something, Air Force if you wanna be a POG NEET that does nothing but say "m-muh cervix"
>11B and that's probably the worst fate in all of the army because you're basically a glorified janitor/gardener but you get a blue cord and that makes up for it, somehow.
Holy shit lmao
Is there any reason why I would choose not to go down the officer route? Becoming an officer doesn't mean I'll always be a paper pusher right? What does it exactly entail?
Army or Navy if you wanna play soldier while getting yelled at by divorced alcoholics . Air force if you wanna do something a private employer might consider paying you for after you get out.
(Syrian bro)
yeah but because of that we end up sending people to BLC who said they aren't re enlisting and taking that slot from someone who actually wants to be here
But you can't choose your job with airforce can you? At least with army you can get the job training for what you without the possibility of being made security forces.
>But you can't choose your job with airforce can you? At least with army you can get the job training for what you without the possibility of being made security forces.
Don't they heavily weight your ASVAB though? So if you aren't a brainlet, then you shouldn't get a shit job?
How 'frat bro' is the army? I was a fire fighter for a while and could not stand the faggotry of endless 'would you rather do your mom or be done by your dad HAHAHAH!' bullshit.
Would rather buy knee pads then join the army and fight for ZOG
Can't OP, diagnosed with Bipolar when I was 12 so the Military doesn't want me anywhere near a gun. Whats your next suggestion?
But there's the choice in it, you can take the ASVAB as many times as you want to improve your score and you're not locked into a job until you leave for basic.
Combat jobs are one giant frat house and mechanics are 90% country boys. The higher the required ASVAB score for a job the less dick jokes usually.
Why would you buy knee pads in this economy when you get issued a pair from the army.
we can offer you a steady pay and ' comradery'
Of course you can choose your job. Just talk to your recruiter when the job list comes down and if he ignores you and books you for some dumb shit then tell him to fuck off and go to a different recruiter. They have monthly quotas, they want to work with you
Imagine actually picking a combat arms MOS. Let me know how that tactical assignment works out for you.
Don't tell anyone. If you talk to a motivated recruiter they'd probably tell you the same thing.
That's what I told my recruiter. I wanted 12B and he said he didn't have it so I told him to call me when he does and left.
So, you're telling me to lie?
Despite the fact that the moment they find out they will kick me out? That doesn't seem like the American way to me.
I applied to the Canadian military a few years ago, took the aptitude test and was told I was a "superior applicant", but then wasn't allowed to join because I smoked weed within the last 6 months before applying. Now that isn't a problem (weed is legal now in Canada), but I never bothered reapplying.
What does it mean if you're a "superior applicant", or do they just say that to everyone?
How would they know you were diagnosed bipolar unless you tell them? Someone might make a joke or two but no ones gonna send you to a doctor trying to get a diagnosis. Plus if you do get kicked out you'll most likely get a medical discharge which means you get money for the rest of your life from the VA plus the GI bill.
Since this is biz here's how you profit from joining the army:
1. Study, prepare and do well on your ASVAB.
2. Pick a MOS that only smart people can get and translates to good civilian employment.
3. Join the reserves so you can actually go straight into civilian sector after AIB.
4. Get out as soon as your contract is up, don't try to be special or stand out just do the minimum.
Everyone lies. Your recruiters will even tell you to lie. Answer NO to every medical question.
>lying doesn't seem like the American way
Maybe the Army isn't for you after all. Lying is what makes the Army go round.
>Of course I was out police calling the lot
>Of course I finished those counselings
>Of course, I was here the whole Staff Duty shift
Don’t forget about dealing with the lowest of the low retards and niggers who were given the “military or jail” treatment. Oh and theyre also your boss for four years. Don’t forget about the alcoholic fucklords with an ego the size of your mom’s asshole.
But I'm 33
No sarge I wasn't playing video games in my room all day I was doing SSD 1
>Shit happens because its the Military, shit always gets stirred up
>Military starts investigation
>Investigation turns up I failed to report my diagnosis despite it only being tangentially involved in the issue at hand
>Issue gets resolved but a report is still submitted that I failed to report my diagnosis
>Get kicked out, no Vet benefits, no honorable discharge for me
Sorry man, but I don't feel like giving up X years of my life to the Army only to lose everything because some dipshit in my unit goes full retard and starts a chain of events that ruins my life. Thanks for the advice though.
Probably the best plan of action
Cut off age is 34, still time for you to shill for isreal
I joined when I was 27. There were people 35+ in my advanced training class. One of the smartest people I ever met was 36, had a PHD and massive student load debt he was trying to get rid of.
Could always do reserves just for the training and GI bill
I don't get why everybody thinks it's a four year service. Talk to the recruiter about a shorter contract.
Sadly military or jail is no longer a thing. Would love to see the trash of the world sweeping for mines with a push broom while taking fire from sand people.
Because recruiters push four years like their balls are about to be ripped off
It is but not directly. These kids have literally nothing going for them and would otherwise do some stupid shit as a civilian to get them thrown in jail. Again a majority of recruits are absolute fucking retards
>tfw they replaced SSD with some retarded unskippable shit that looks like baby's first computer science project
I feel so bad for all the new soldiers who actually have to sit through that shit instead of just doing the exploit to have it done in five minutes.