Left is right, up is down edition

>the chubbyfuckers are back
at least all the fat chicks will die of coronavirus

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Convince me not to buy cheap F puts.

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Hogs get slaughtered. This one not in a good way.

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Strongly considering biying a put right now but my confidence in doing this is shattered again even rhough its almost a month out

lmao
because they closed school a couple months early and told everyone to stop going to work?

The real troublesome people aren't in school or at work.

most of the niggers are just outside of the metro area. you can pull up a crime map and see there are some very bad neighborhoods, I think to the northeast

What happens if the DOW hits 15k?

No

Kek fail thread

like I said in a previous thread, Boeing is going to crash so they can be taken over by Lockheed or Raytheon

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Thoughts on investing in foreign stocks right now? I'd assume there are countries that are about to flatten the curve a couple weeks/months ahead of the USA. I was thinking about buying some German stocks or Korean ETFs but I figure it's kind of pointless since American demand for products probably drives a big part of their economies.

>told to come here for advice
>ask a million questions
>invested $1000 per advice
>bought recommended stocks per advice
>im now $3k in the hole

why are you people stupid?

It's not just the fed. People are getting some visibility on this thing. Also treatment is getting more aggressive and slowly improving.

Kaletra was used in half of South Korean cases early on and RCT showed null effects. As we improve treatment, improve testing, improving weather, improving behavior, etc we will get over this.

Just make sure if you are bearish you do theorize out ideas of going long. Always self-doubt your thesis and plan outs.

NYC and North East USA will get worse, same for Canada, but I would be a little cautious because Europe might peak and decline in that same time period.

CHAOS

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Then it crabs for 2 months then begins to turn around after one more flash crash.

Not if, when

PELOSI CONFIRMED POZZED FOR BAT AIDS
>PELOSI CONFIRMED POZZED FOR BAT AIDS
PELOSI CONFIRMED POZZED FOR BAT AIDS
>PELOSI CONFIRMED POZZED FOR BAT AIDS
PELOSI CONFIRMED POZZED FOR BAT AIDS
>PELOSI CONFIRMED POZZED FOR BAT AIDS

Don't deny your true desires

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Hard to get onto foreign markets from american platforms. But there are foreign companies trading on the U.S. Market such as honda and mitsubishi etc.

Stock noob here, would investing in airlines and hotels be a poor decision atm? I've only got about 3k worth to invest.
Thanks

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You take out a loan promise to pay back transfer ownership then default and transfer back ownership simple as

should i put 1k in TQQQ options expiring in 2021 and 2022 , i could be a millionare in 2 years if it recovers

I just keep getting balllls deeper in pepsico and jnj

CL has. lot of south american business innit?
fuck that place.

and you forgot about Clorox
BIG GAINS from all the bleach people are drinking!!

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Wait... You actually listened to people from here??

If you outsource blame and responsibility you will never improve, this goes for improving at anything.

You went on the internet and threw thousand of dollars based on a random person on the internet.
You are a fucking retard and deserve nothing

Maybe you're the dumb one

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i'm....gonna....COOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Blood in the streets

Reminder

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Tell me right now if i should buy a put and in what!!!!!!

I have 1.5k i can use.

sounds like you're the stupid on dumbass

>would investing in airlines and hotels be a poor decision atm
What do you fucking think you idiot.

Short DOW and SPY all day if you want money. This is IRL infinite money cheatcode.

>spend $1000
>somehow at -$3000
did user tell you to sell naked calls or something

Kept advising some nigger here to hold my illiquid bags
>Up 3k now

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When a woman farts in jeans it blocks a lot of the smell. But when a girl farts with yoga pants the smell goes through more then other fabrics. Farts are so amazing especially girl farts. They turn me on so much. I can't stand not smelling girl farts. I just get an instant boner when I smell girl farts. How can you live life and not enjoy a girls farts. I wish a girl would sit on my face and just at beans till she lets out the smelliest and loudest fart possible.

there's a difference between a solid ass like that and a literal fupa like you posted before

Kek

(((FJV2VLzz)))

wouldn't theta destroy that if you bought now

was reddit wrong?

Yeah both people making threads sucked at it -_-;
Lime want make thread if dummies no get act together!!!

Always do the opposite of what Yas Forums says. Yes even this post.

NOTHING YOU SHOULD WAIT
sry caps

boeing

It's not a bad idea. Just pick the best possible largest companies most likely to survive.

I cant list all hundred of stocks about to Chop up big. therefore UDOW

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Would wife

This certainly isn't aging well.

4channel was wronger

Idk man I've never invested before, was about to open a merril lynch account. Really don't know what I'm doing here lol

>braps

let us know when you tickle the taste buds with Feminine chocolate.

Woah, an M13 reaction pic. Haven't seen this in years.

IT DOESN'T STOP THERE

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JEROME STOP YOUR FUCKING SHIT YOU KIKE

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i'm gonna slap SPY if it doesn't go back under 220 before close

Investing is very easy. Take your money and buy index funds right now with all of it. Then do the same each month.

absolutely based

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Public utility stocks yay or nay?

It was this low in 2013. Top for 2013 was about 16,500.
My dream is 14,000; that was in July 19, 2007. It doesn't seem to be impossible.

What the FUCK is Jerome doing right now? STOP PUMPING

>9 minutes of pump left
don't be so sure

hehe green candle go uuuup

Yay.

WHY IS IT GOING UP
WHAT JEWRY IS THIS!?

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Did this user make it?

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>faggot feds pumping all the way until close

fuck you

Why is TLSA holding so strong wtf.

Die meme stonk die

If he traded it in time

It's the daily last minute pump. Taxpayer shekels at work.

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They're banking on a bill getting passed tonight

>get up from 20% down to just 2%
>Sell put options so that today isn't a total loss.
>Options not selling.
>Percent drops down to 27%
>Down 100 dollars.
What the fuck.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRULL TRAP

Bare in mind a power company is one wildfire away from losing 90% of their value and declaring bankruptcy to avoid paying out compensation for 80 people killed by your outdated powerlines.

he hasn't checked in today yet

feds always brrr at the end of the day

Posting this to upset the other faggot.

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nah this is a great buying time

Asia almost over the flu
Europe peaking
USA regionally fucked but quickly getting our shit together

You might have a few weeks to buy, so I bet many big guys would DCA today

They dumped it hard on Friday.

>all in on equities
>pumps

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who thinks tomorrow will be slightly green. i need some cheap puts

God damn it my TVIX position is getting rocked right now

Tell me what to buy I will follow blindly. Thanks :)

DIE JETBLUE DIE PLEASE FUCK

based and checked

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You are fucking deluded.

im gonna borrow another 1K from my grandpa for tomorrow, where should i dump it?

Do the pumps just mean that it's going to crash harder once SRHTF here in the US?

did he use those hats on the way up too?

Christ even though the stocks were down I was still losing money. Fuck puts. My intelsat stocks netted 20 dollars so far today.

we're going green

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asshole

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lol no way fag. Slightly red.

FUCK JEROME. START PRINTING INFINITE MONEY YOU BITCH, RUN THE USD INTO THE GROUND

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Same. I thought I was getting it cheap at 480, and then this pump happened. I'm holding till the end of the week at least.

senate stimulus bill failed, probably won't even be reconsidered till Friday
apocalypse-tier unemployment numbers Thursday
UK most likely going full lockdown next
USA cases exploding

market, up?

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you're not wrong i guess lol

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>380 and plummeting
It was a flash in the pan user. I'm sorry for your loss.

You little fucking cocksucker, you couldn't let me have that 10% gain today, huh Jerome? You fucking piece of shit KIKE RAT.

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>WHAT WAS THAT???

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Prolly

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fuck this gay pump

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NEE

Too many things to dodge. Stimulus, fed, treatments, seasonality, testing ramping up

markets are forward looking

Knew I should have sold all of it instead of just half during the down part of the crab. Thanks Jerome for pushing me from 4K up to 4K down in the last ten minutes

and all the people who got pink slips?
They're all gonna walk right back into work huh?

To be fair some countries have said they will peak in the coming days in Europe.
Wait until Thursday to see if that's true at all

YOU SLY KIKE FUCKS PUMPING LITERALLY LAST MINUTE

>Went from being up 2k to down 1k then broke even then down 1.5k
I need to stop being so greedy and just take profits holy shit

It's never going to crash. Jerome will pump with infinite money and markets will crab at -4% every day until May.

Thanks for the cheap SPY put

>that pump

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What in the fuck is going on? Can anyone explain why the Dow is going up and down 1000 points multiple times in a single day???

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

this gjy gets kt

sauce?

>testing ramping up
This is literally not a positive point for the market.

>thought monday would be red as fuck
>Limitbuys.png early to swing tomorrow
>goes up
This is fine.

No one went broke taking a profit user

What part of the Fed declaring they're going to just print endless money did you not get? Yas Forums memes have become reality at this point.

Lad what are u gonna do when the stimulus is signed and your puts expire worthless?

post more bear memes?

I wish

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What program is that?

There absolutely can't be no grave and unexpected news this week, r-right?

CMON DO NEGATIVE RATES TOMORROW JEROME WHEN YOU RUN OUT OF AMMO

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A global panic about a pandemic is going on with insane market volatility because nobody knows how the fuck this is going to shake out.

yes, the world is just that fucked up right now

this is the power of unlimited money

OH FUCK
THATS WHY ITS ALL DUMPING
GOD DAMN IT

UPDATE 3-Coronavirus pandemic leads big drugmakers to hit pause on clinical trials
3:23 PM ET, 03/23/2020 - Reuters
(Adds details from Bristol Myers, industry consultant comment, impact to hospitals, PIX available)

By Manas Mishra and Michael Erman

March 23 (Reuters) - U.S. drugmakers Eli Lilly and Co and Bristol Myers Squibb said they are delaying the start of new clinical trials in part to free up doctors and healthcare facilities to deal with the surge in patients infected with the new coronavirus.

Lilly and Bristol are the biggest drugmakers yet to announce clinical trial delays in the face of the pandemic that has killed over 16,000 people worldwide, after several small biotech companies said last week that they would be pulling back on drug studies.

The moves are not related to clinical trials testing drugs or vaccines that could be used to treat or prevent COVID-19, the respiratory illness caused by the virus.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration last week urged switching to virtual patient visits instead of in-person monitoring when conducting clinical studies as it anticipated the outbreak would disrupt them.

Pfizer Inc, Merck & Co, AbbVie Inc, and Johnson & Johnson were not immediately available for comment on their trials policies.

Delaying clinical trials could hurt future revenue for pharmaceutical companies as it lengthens the time it takes for drugs to receive approval and reach the market. It could also hurt patients by limiting their access to experimental treatments being studied.

Lilly said the move would delay the timeline for ongoing late-stage studies of its experimental gastrointestinal disease treatment mirikizumab.

The Indianapolis-based drugmaker said there will not be any delay in other ongoing late-stage trials.

...

would

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yes

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Can someone explain to me how TVIX was over $2 million/share 9 years ago? What the hell kind of chart is this?

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pump failed

I told vanguard to put 1/2 of my 401k into core equity from stable value today. clearly that has had some impact on the overall market

Economy has two parts
Engines
Gadgets

Losing a cupcake shop is not the same as losing factory jobs. So yes, it will recover especially the shorter the quarantine is.

>unlimited money against 0 (zero) consumption
I wonder which will prevail

US oil and gas stocks yea, or nay? (MRO,XOM, FANG, etc.?)

GET FUCKED JEROME

haha BRRR

the FED proposes, the market disposes

They had stock splits but the chart glitches

And that's closing bell.
I only made gains on my intelsat stocks.
All of my puts universally lost money and I'm down 30% today.
Fucking hell I hate losing money.

IT'S THE FED NIGGER LURK MORE YOU WSB REJECTS

Testing is extremely effective for mitigating spread, getting better treatment outcomes, etc.

If the market is upset about test results it's a short term inefficiency and stupidity. Korea was so effective because of their high per capita testing.

That last minute DJIA pump just got shredded holy shit

reverse split, a share then was worth too little so they increased the share price and decreased the total number of shares

Gonna be blood red tomorrow

>Pump hard as fuck just so we dont end under 18.5k

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You mean something like 1 person going quiet every minute in Coronachan's embrace?

based

>tfw sinusoidal market
>tfw buy the dip and sell the peak
>tfw guaranteed to get rich

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r u me

I'd hold off. Corona-chan isn't even the only reason oil is fucked right now like a lot of other industries. Saudi and Russians are going full jew and trying to crash it all down to kill US production.

L M A O
M
A
O

Unironically unlimited money will. This world is a fucking joke, we live in a circus, we are the clowns.

Splits, li'l nigga.

Too late just put in a short last minute

But how long before they shoot themselves in the foot? Also of the American companies i'd imagine XOM will survive right?

how you reckon

Let's make it klobuchar, the world is better off without her anyway. Then give trump coronavirus to really plant fear in the country

Yeah that's pretty much what i'm planning for the foreseeable future

>If the market is upset about test results it's a short term inefficiency and stupidity
Exactly nigger and that's what will keep plummeting the stocks, what do you not understand about this?

pretty cringy having people camp digits just to get (you)'s

The graph looks like a damaged saw blade. Look at all those jagged points.

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>honey its time for your 4th daily dick flattening and heart attack
n-not again

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Well that was was a whole lot of fucking noise for nothing

???
Kloub was a nobody who did nothing?
The world may not miss her, but I don't see how it's better without her?

also their younger population and stupidly high amount of protective equipment handed to the population for low prices

don't know man, too early to call it, but even if money wins it will most likely be a pyrrhic victory

daily reminder that dividens can't save you

I call this pattern "Shark tooth"

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Holy shit the future markets.
Lol.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I did stupid and emotional trades today

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I'll take it.

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>Trump too sick to lead
>Pence takes power, rounds up all the gays and electrocutes them
Bullish desu

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1980

have been doing that with futures and ctfs past month and got over $500k so far with extremely little risk and loss

Thanks fed!

>sell high buy low nothing bad will happen!
Yes we're all 150iq investors here who are going to own yachts after this I'm sure.

ding ding ding how is everyone doing today? I'm up 2.8%

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>President Pence, how will this help the fight against coronavirus
>The corona-what?

What was fucking bizarre was that the VTI was so damn high on all puts and calls that not a single option seemed to be able to be executed. Hell I put in for 5 sells of my puts at 10 am when I had made just a smidge of money, and I saw in horror as they failed to execute and I slowly lost money throughout the day.
Fucking pissed.

Bought 2 puts today. 1 was in the green and then it did a 180. Surprisingly the puts premium value is nearly the same. Going to hold onto it for now considering how much this market is crabbing downwards.

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>QQQ finishes green for the day
JUSTTTTT

I knew today was going to be a bulltrap. I didn't think it'd get pumped as hard as it did.

They'll just get pumped half an hour before open like earlier today.

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Was today crab?

i cant tell its too volatile

im never trusting you fuckers again

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Lol 0.01 through -0.02

down 4.8%, should have been a good day but I got cocky and emotional which cost me a lot

>wealthsimple has 15 minute delayed quotes so I don't even know how I ended the day unless I want to do it by hand
>literally the only commission free broker in canada

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Importantly I could easily lose about 1.4k as that's about how much I have in puts.

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What's going to happen tomorrow? What are yall buying on open?