/smg/ - Stock Market General

NO NO GOD NO

Guys help me out here. Never really been interested in trading or stonks, but with this crisis and the pound tanking I want to try to secure what I think is a good bet.

Looking at the collapse of the oil price, how would I go about aligning an investment as close to that price as possible? I don't have the knowledge or time to individually invest in oil companies, as unknown circumstances can blindside me. All I want to do is place a bet that the oil price is basically at a historic low and I want a long term bet that it will rise (brent crude specifically).

How do I go about doing this?

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XOP

Any CSPAN streams?

Just buy USO if you want to be oily.

DOW under 18k by market close.

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What are the odds the stimulus DOESN'T pass? What to buy if it DOES pass?

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I hate the fed so much

youtube.com/watch?v=NzPxPkR73zk

Enjoy fren

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Sounding like it won’t pass

Thursday can't come any faster. The unemployment numbers should have these delusional clowns realize how bad it really is

LMAO, Democrats aren't giving anybody neet bux unless they get to push through tax credits for wind and solar. What a fucking joke. Also Why the fuck is my job deemed essential if all I do is shit post on Yas Forums all day everyday.

*SIPS*
COFFEE TIIIMMEE!!!

REALLY NOT SURE HOW IT COULD BE WORSE THAN THE 2.5 MILLION EXPECTED

BAG FAG
REMEMBER TARP
REMEMBER WHEN THESE FAGS PUT TEABAGS ON THEIR HEADS AND CLAIMED THEY WERE FISCALLY CONSERVATIVE.

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I'm watching it live and it's burning.

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kek I haven't seen this one

>tfw ATM is already out of money

you're fucking kidding

I want to find all options I can buy for .01 per contract (mostly looking for calls expiring jan 21), is there a free site where I can search for them?

What happens thursday?

Is TVIX ever going to rise again? Is the fun over?

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SCHIFF IS LIVE

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I frickin hope not, it better reach 800 after the bill fallout today

>MISTER PRESIDUNT WAYYYY DO POLITICS BE DUMB?
>BABY BRAIN IS A MIRACUL
Are sudderners ok?

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Unemployment numbers get published. They're being temporarily redacted.

WHO CARES
GOLD HASNT DONE ANYTHING GOOD

But everyone knows they're going to be shit...

AAPL stock just went up

>one, two, three trillion won't fix the market
OH I DON'T THINK SO
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Pass > Goes up
Doesn't Pass > Goes up
infinite money who cares

And yet the algos will still respond when they hear the keyword

And... crushed

Long silver, crypto, and gold.
Short stocks.
Blowout soon S.T.A.L.K.E.R.S.

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Why is Boeing going up if they're shutting factories down in Seattle for 2 weeks

Who is this fat fuck

Why do we have two threads?

Just vote and kill bill so I can exit during the minidump tired of the crab market shit

bailout

Clown market. Nothing makes sense. Companies are like pajeet shitcoins now.

Anticipation of a bailout

could be

in 2008 when they finally did tarp the market dumped... I wonder what will happen if they do pass the bill

Clown world.

What happens if that shitty bill gets passed?

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$7 put 4/17 on JetBlue. Worth?

A dead cat bounce. Crab market at best

>NO BILL
>MORE STATES LOCK DOWN
>DEATHS SURGING
Ha ha yes sir another BULLISH day on Wall Street I see!

>Why is Boeing going up if they're shutting factories down in Seattle for 2 weeks
The executives are flying outta of the country

Gambling, ETF liquidation.

Then congrats, the United States of America is now officially a communist state.

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People smarter than you priced in the obvious incoming bailout, sorry you're slow maybe don't short too big to fail companies next time

>we're going to pass this bill
>but not this one

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Just bought Boeing puts. Did I fuck up?

What about oil?

>now

If the bill doesn't pass what does the day end at?

VOTE ALREADY YOU OLD FUCKS VOOOOOOOOOTE VOTE JUST FUCKING VOTE

but we had a dead cat bounce last week or not? :^s

Any have companies they h ave been eyeing that are way down rn I should buy?

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Investors are assuming they're going to get a bailout.

Why was the original green anonymous replaced by the newfag pepe anyway?

Dont buy anything before thursday's unenployment report

Reminder

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OH GOD I'M GONNA
I'M GONNA VOOOOOOTE

I'ma flip her flap
tremendously uncertain.
see TARP

Chink stocks?
BiliBili

jut buy NETFLIX. hold 1 week, and then sell

bros
>The interest paid by U.S. Treasury bonds is exempt from income taxation at the state and local level, but is fully taxable on your federal income tax return

what does this mean for a non-income taxed state

Bullish signal, can't kill more people with faulty planes if you stop making planes

why do they not remember what happened to GM shareholders

Yup. Too big to fail security contractor for government.

Nah, pick unrelated. I already bought BABA

>long crypto
>short stocks
Retarded, but at least you got the gold thing right.

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VOTING VOTING VOTING!!!!!!!!!

>the city of murrica right now