They say you gotta crack a few eggs to make an omelette Ray, but that's wasteful...

>They say you gotta crack a few eggs to make an omelette Ray, but that's wasteful. The people who say that ain't never gone hungry in their lives. They don't know the genius of making things last, see the art of frugality is making an omelette outta one egg. Just one. Because I only have one of everything, one casino, one life, one omelette. I'm telling you to put all your eggs in one basket Velcoro or maybe it's you that's gonna crack.

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>They say I'm like a bull in a China shop. Except all my crockerys made in Egypt. So tell me Ray, am I a bull or a fucking camel?

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they been calling me a pre madonna all my life ray; well I just got fucked and ain't a virgin no more

8/10
4/10
top lel

You know, Ray, Caspere always used to tell me that anger is one letter short of danger. Me personally? I've always felt I've been three letters short my entire fucking L

You gotta be unpredictable in this world to survive, Ray. Just look at me. When life gives me lemons, I don't make lemonade. I make fucking orange juice.

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>Actions speak louder than words Ray, but my mother was a mute and had to write things down for me. Too bad she never sent me to school so I don't know how to read. That's why I'm not a fucking actor.

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all my life ray they told me I'm barking up the wrong tree. I ain't no fuckin dog ray; I'm the bird. I'm just choosing where to nest

>where am i

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>They say take a penny leave a penny Ray. What I want to know is why is the government still making pennies?

>You know Ray, they say you shouldn't count your chickens before they hatch. Caspere knew this, and you know what he left me with? A bunch of fucking turkeys.

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>yknow what this guy’s sayin?
>Yeah, something about birds and nests

>They say one man's trash is another man's treasure, if thats the case why doesn't anyone want to buy my 90's baseball cards? Ebay says they're at least a dollar a piece.

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>They tell me to count my blessings, but when I sneeze I gotta cover my mouth. Tell me Ray, how the fuck are you supposed to count without your fingers?

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Caspere knew this

I fucking spit

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fucking lol

I guess after all these years I've finally gotten a taste of my own medicine. All my life I've thought myself the doctor, but you know what ray? I'm just another patient; and they've just scheduled a rectal exam.

>they say it's a jungle out there Ray, survival of the fittest, but tell me Ray, have you ever seen a jew run a marathon?

>they said I’m not here to fuck spiders. well, it’s 2am and I’m balls deep in a tarantula, Ray.

> they told me I was a quiet as a boy Ray, but you know what I’m trying to figure out? How loud I have to scream in your face for you to hear me?

They always say you shouldn't cry over spilt milk, but this time it's not milk being spilt, it's fucking lemonade and I'm about to make it into lemons.

>Don't beat around the bush Ray, attack it head on with a pair of shearers. Otherwise you might as well stop fucking Europeans.

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They said close but no cigar, but I don't give a fuck, I don't even smoke.

We've all got skeletons ray. My ghosts follow me wherever I go, and not all of them are friendly. Casper knew this.

laughed

They say these hoes be trippin' Ray. I don't know how I would be trippin' over hoes, I have stepped on them and hurt myself though. Maybe these thugs got something right...

They say Icarus flew too close to the sun, well Ray, I feel like JFK giving speeches and not being around to see the results. Fuck Ray. We are talking suborbitals here.

you know ray they always told me to stop and smell the flowers. relax they'd say.
well you know where I stopped? at a fucking red light on crenshaw. relax? around blacks?
Im looking around ray and I dont see any flowers and all I smell is fried chicken and that loud.

I had a dream last night wherein I was a horse being beaten senseless by a gang of wetbacks. Their leader was a wop greaseball named Nic Pizzolatto. Some people say to not mess with success, but from what I could tell they were making a real mess outta me.

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you know ray they always said one bird in hand is worth two in the bush.
well Im a fucking double arm amputee and all the bushes I see are full of thorns.

you know what separates man from the animals ray?
reason? opposable thumbs? souls?
nah.
it was the fucking mediterannaen and the jews are building bridges faster than we can build zoos. caspere knew this. so did epstein.

what happent to dem keedz...it aint rite......