Dear journal

I fed Porkchop to my parents tonight. They still think he is just missing.

I think Mr.Dink might be a pedophile.

Months have passed. It’s the first Friday night in the final month. Much shit has happened.
Vodka has a Tec 9, we test fired all of our babies, we have 6 time clocks ready, 39 crickets
[small bombs] 24 pipe bombs, and the napalm is under construction. Right now I’m trying
to get fucked and trying to finish off these time bombs. NBK came quick, why the fuck can’t
I get any? I mean, I’m nice and considerate and all that shit, but nooooo. I think I try too
hard. But I kinda need to, considering NBK is closing in. The amount of dramatic irony
and foreshadowing is fucking amazing. Everything I see and hear I incorporate into NBK
somehow. Either bombs, clocks, guns, napalm, killing people, any and everything finds
some tie to it. Feels like a goddamn movie sometimes. I wanna try to put some mines and
trip bombs around this town too maybe. Get a few extra frags on the scoreboard. I hate
you people for leaving me out of so many fun things. And no don’t fucking say “well that’s
your fault” because it isn’t, you people had my phone #, and I asked and all, but no. no no
no don’t let the weird looking Doug KID come along, ooh fucking nooo.

based schoolshooter posters

>The streets will be painted green and red
>Just like Christmas...
>This is goodbye Journal.

I was able to get the tip all the way in my mouth this morning. About another week of practice and I'll definitely be able to suck myself off.

I had a fantasy where I was being whipped by Roger in spandex.

Only a year? Worth it.

I let Skeeter suck my dick again today. I'm afraid I might be gay.

Immediately made me think of this.

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I finally met the user who gets compared to Roger

CRAAAAWLING IN MYYYYY SKIN

TURNS OUT PATTY'S A FUCKING DYKE

Eric wrote this right?

Is it true that the creator of Doug is a beta like the character he created and Patti is based on a real chick who eventually married the guy he based Roger off of? I remember hearing this a while back but like what I ate last week, I can't be sure I remember correctly.

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I wouldn't doubt it

I don't know about the Roger part, but the rest is true

Dear journal, I finally raped Patti. They're banging at the door. I won't let them take me alive. Skeeter is a faggot and I don't like the beets anymore because they are corporate. I've got the gun in my backpack. Tomorrow Roger and every other piece of shit at that school that's made my life a living hell these past years is finally going to get what's coming to them. It's time for me to stand up to Roger. I'm bringing a gun with me to school tomorrow. Mom and Dad found the camera in Judy's shower. I'm grounded for the next year. It figure it would've been two if they found all the other ones. I've already poisoned porkchop so that he won't miss me when I shoot myself. I fed Porkchop to my parents tonight. They still think he is just missing. I think Mr.Dink might be a pedophile. The streets will be painted green and red. Just like Christmas... This is goodbye Journal.

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Huge if true

Humanity… All of my suffering on this world has been at the hands of humanity, particularly women.
It has made me realize just how brutal and twisted humanity is as a species. All I ever wanted was to fit
in and live a happy life amongst humanity, but I was cast out and rejected, forced to endure an existence
of loneliness and insignificance, all because the females of the human species were incapable of seeing
the value in me.
This is the story of how I, Doug Funnie came to be. This is the story of my entire life. It is a dark story of sadness, anger, and hatred. It is a story of a war against cruel injustice. In this magnificent story, I will disclose every single detail about my life, every single significant experience that I have pulled from my superior memory, as well as how those experiences have shaped my views of the world. This tragedy did not have to happen. I didn’t want things to turn out this way, but humanity forced my hand, and this story will explain why. My life didn’t start out dark and twisted. I started out as a happy and blissful child, living my life to the fullest in a world I thought was good and pure…

Kek

Except for the Roger part, it's all true. Doug singlehandedly destroyed and emasculated young men that watched this show.

Skeeter had Elmo's voice in the Mexican dub. and Mexican Elmo sounds exactly like English Elmo. it made it even funnier.

yes, you can tell because it sounds like a retarded angry caveman wrote it