>current year
>STILL no 100 million dollar budget blockbuster depicting the epic battles in the bible or the life of jesus and his disciples
Disappointing to say the least desu, the scene where satan temps jesus would be 100% kino
>inb4 passion of the christ
Theres literally so much good shit you can pull from the bible for stories its unreal
Oh its right here on her luggage. Samsonite
Is the Bible worth a read lads? For pure entertainment.
Satanic garbage book
>Mario Bava made this
hope he got a night with Joan out of it
The 50s called, they said begone zoomer.
superhero style
>The book that instructs you to your souls salvation is "satanic garbage"
No. It's not entertaining at all. The Tower of Babel has no characters or conflict and it's about three sentences long. The book of genealogy is just a list of names that traces Jesus' lineage back to Abraham, and then there's another list of names that traces Jesus' lineage back to Adam. Yes, that Adam. This is why people think the world is 6,000 years old. And then there's Leviticus and Deuteronomy, which aren't even stories.
You're thinking of the Talmud.
God the Mother, God the Holy Ghost, God the Son, Jesus Christ. There's a good reason why the Catholic Church banned that (((thing))).
>implying screenwriters read the source material
The Sodom scene is pretty wild.
Yeah, ancient patriarchy.
Or are you one of those confused theologians who still equate feminine principles with satanism?
I wonder what "Lord" Moses worshipped ahaha
God the Holy Ghost is The Father of the Trinity
Who is this sæmon dæmon
What's the best (most entertaining) story in the Bible?
i'm reading it right now, currently on Kings 1
it's very slow and you should expect to take months/years to read it, but there are high points
also its fun to come across parts that are prominent in popular culture
Joseph's is pretty emotional
Harmony Wonder
I wish for the Bible to become the next MCU. Please if there's a genie reading this, make it true
>Eve & Adam ends
>Credits start rolling
>They're abruptly interrupted by lightning
>You see a burning bush in the desert and the Avengers theme softly plays as the camera pans out
>"God will be back... in movie theaters this Spring 2024"
Jesus banning a legion of demons from the tortured man into a herd of pigs and then running them all into a river is fuckin great
the catholic underworld movie is going to suck
Patrician detected
anyone remember the nude scene in Richard Gere's King David? of course if you've seen it you remember
according to ralph's sunday school teacher jesus did not have wheels
but he should have imagine him and the disciples tooling around solving mysteries in the CHRISTMOBILE