ITT: We write the next Neil Breen movie, one post at a time. I'll start:

I believe I cured Megan's cancer

But Devon knows his plans. All of the plans. The secret plans....

WHO AM I? WHAT AM I?

all the while, our hero must deal with the sexual advances of his neighbor's teenage daughter

A semi truck full of tuna cans crashes on a desert highway after an alien ship hovers above

Tuna

Cue 20 minutes if stock photage and surreal imagery

Breen hacks into the tuna cans with 6 vaio laptops and feeds the mutant space cats saving the day

Digs out a buried chest in the Hollywood hills filled with old laptops.

He then declares: Its all clean!

Sneed

...said the man, a grin on his face. "Formely Chuck".

Proceeds to rub Anthrax on your forearm.
"Excuse me" he declares as he continues on to another pointless assasination.

Suddenly there are thousands of Devons. From him as an infant to an old man. They point at current day Devon and say:

Just give me the drugs, I don't care about anything else.

Uses his CIA connections to get paid for it

I wish I had friends to get drunk with and watch Neil Breen movies with.

You will user, you will.
Here take this rock...

I'll be right here
*touches heart*

disappointed that he's making a sequel to twisted pair as I want to see him try something different. Imagine how fantastic a horror film by this man could be.

By this point he should be able to get Eric Roberts for a cameo. And Roberts should play a character called Bunny. Oh and John de Hart should at least have a song.

government fatcats in washington

shot of Neil petting a Jaguar

>petting
nuzzling

Nuzzling the tiger sends a wave of energy into Neil Breen. "Thank, you my friend. I understand now".

Launches his drone.