Julius Caesar at his 50 runned, trained, swimmed, drilled...

then how'd he get btfo by a buncha fat old morons?

he banged cato sister and brutus was the result

Even at Alesia he didnt lead anyone into battle he just led them to where the Gauls were attacking

did you know Brutus fought at Alesia?

t. esl

ACTUALLY most written sources on Caesar were written by his ennemies, and even from that the only logical conclusion is that Julis Caesar is indeed the greatest chad who ever lived.

t.virgin senator

>whos the biggest chad in history
His adopted son Emperor Augustus of course because of this
>instead of proclaiming himself king, he stacked the senate and made them a puppet for his own will
>oh no im not your king, im just the first citizen, the senate still runs rome
>dont mind that i selected who is in the senate behind the scenes
And dont forget
>outsmarted the senate, made them his bitch and didnt get stabbed

Augustus inherited Caesar's wealth and prestige. Without it he'd be nothing.

>runned

I like it. Don't take any crap from grammar pedants, user.

esl detected

He was still a part of the most influential and richest family in rome and would eventually enter politics
Even without the jumpstart he was a political genious

Yes, he would have entered politics eventually, but he couldn't have established the Empire without his inheriting of Caesar's massive army, client base, massive wealth, and prestige.

>sources written by enemies
Like what?

t. Quintus Caecilius Metellus Pius Cornelianus Scipio Nasica

*ahem*

FUCK GAULS
FUCK GERMANS
FUCK PARTHIANS
FUCK CARTHAGE
FUCK PRAETORIAN GUARD
AND LASTLY
FUCK THE SENATE

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>runned

well he was surely A CONSUL OF ROME

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By the time Augustus came around all the Senators worth anything were dead after decade of civil wars. There was no-one left to oppose him.

I don't say this very much, but Holy BASED

Cicero was there. And that faggot Marc Antony had him killed, while Augustus claimed afterwards that he regretted not stopping the murder.

Based and dare I utter it...REDPILLED

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He was every woman's man and every man's woman.

>runned
based esl

Not only that but his name became the term for emperor in German and Russian

This. Look at how people try to obfuscate and lie about current history when we have millions of witnesses and countless sources of evidence to refute their claims. We have video of over 6 feet tall Michael Brown strangling and attacking a manlet pajeet store clerk and video and autopsy evidence supporting the witness statements that Brown tried to charge and attack the cops arresting him but at least half of American believes he's an innocent dindu to this day.

Everything chronicled before the medieval ages must be taken with a grain of salt and have a basic level of logic and rationalism applied to it. Most of the pruported qualities of Caesar are almost certainly myths.

wait no

Would Suetonius lie to you?

>He most likely did lead troops during the battle of Alesia. It wasn’t super uncommon

t. Knows nothing about how coldsteel battles actually happened. The men in the first few ranks of both sides died almost immediately when forces met due to the sheer weight of one mass of men crashing into another. Veterans and leaders not in reserve units or horseback found places in the mid rank since this was the position that actually mattered.

lol you mean all those senators and patricians his heirs murdered and exiled in wake of Caesars assassionation?

Cicero wrote some letters contemporary to the time. Plutarch and Livy are the best sources not written by Caesar himself.

It wasn't murder, it was justice

even romans would agree that the greatest roman chad was agrippa

give me the lives of famous whores, or give me death

I doubt it was common to place your veterans in the middle. It makes more sense to either place them in the front rank for more taxing engagements, or place them in the rear as a last resort. The latter was certainly the preferred method utilized by the Roman's during the mid republic according to Polybius.

>runned

BASED

Also, FUCK THE JANITORES

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Oh look, another ESL thread.

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>barechested covered in olive oil

i see why you're so fond of this, op

The primary source for Caesar's accomplishments in Gaul are from Caesar so you're right that we can disregard a lot of it (especially the retarded numbers he claims to have defeated). But the rest of the stuff OP mentioned like
>fucking Cleopatra
>fucking Cato's half- sister
>being captured by pirates than killing him
Have other sources. The story about him fighting off the assassins is blatantly obvious propaganda made up after the fact though.
>Caesar lightning reflexes
Lmao, this was a man well into his 50s

Aurelian was the greatest Roman chad. Agrippa is easily top 20 though, maybe even top 10.

>One day, He was captured by pirates, he added personally more money for the ransom
Not quite, he didn't pay his own ransom, he, upon finding out how much money they were demanding for his safe release, demanded the pirates increase the ransom they were asking for because he said he was worth far more than they were asking for.

By the time he was ransomed, he was on friendly terms with the pirates and walking about, he left jokingly saying he was going to hunt them all down.

Then he got home and immediately bought his own fleet of ships + crew and set out and hunted them all down.

sic semper tyrannis

>Killed none of the conspirators during his assassination like a boss
Actually read a book next time

He was Alexander to Caesar's Philip II

When I was a new friend, I defended our board. As an oldfag, I shall not abandon it.
I give sincere thanks to our janitor, who has generously presented me with the most promising theme imaginable.
I adress you directly, janny. Please listen, as if you were sane and well-adjusted, and not an anti-social, sex-starved incel.
You are certainly not without accomplishments: it is a rare man who can boast of becoming a degenerate shut-in, before even coming of age. You have brought upon us reddit, cancer and SJWs.
You are Yas Forums's Helen of Troy, but then a woman's role has always suited you best.

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Caesar left almost everything to the plebs though

The jumpstart was everything though. Especially having Caesar's name and the respect of Caesar's legions, at the moment Caesar died he was in Greece with the army. Take Caesar out of the equation and Octavian is just a clever kid related to Caesar who likely gets purged by Antony at some point down the line.

I'd argue most of what Caesar wrote in his commentaries is true, the only part that wasn't completely were the numbers he states, which he has obvious reason to exaggerate. There has been evidence found to substantiate pretty much all the places Caesar said he had been and fought battles at. Here's a good example.
vu.nl/en/news-agenda/news/2015/okt-dec/vu-archaeologists-discover-location-of-historic-battle-fought-by-caesar-in-dutch-river-area.aspx

t. Knows nothing about the Battle of Alesia. The only men who weren't fighting there were the dead. Even if he wasn't manning the scutum wall himself he absolutely was on the frontline and would have had to personally kill Gauls

Augustus is literally Sheev tier, Julius comes across as a simp in comparison

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Optimates fucking shits. Go back to your winery you silk wearing fuck

No, he left 3/4 of all he had to Octavian. He only gave 1/4 of his wealth and his gardens to the people, but Caesar was so ridiculously rich that this still meant that everyone in Rome got paid big time.

honestly england is a fucked country and a shit people, you should rape their language

Based as fuck

not him but he's saying the conspirators deserved to be murdered