>Sir, our decoy was clearly hinting at him to ask her out. Why didnt he make a move?
>He might be onto us. Also his browser history shows a predilection towards feminine males... we might have to try a different tactic.
Sir, our decoy was clearly hinting at him to ask her out. Why didnt he make a move?
Justin Powell
Landon Nguyen
>>Sir, our decoy was clearly hinting at him to ask her out. Why didnt he make a move?
>>He might be onto us. Also his browser history shows a predilection towards feminine males... we might have to try a different tactic.
Jeremiah Turner
great thread op really television and film related
Levi Cruz
Newfag.
William Thompson
>he doesn't have a job. He's like a ghost
Ian Brown
It is, retard.
These threads are unironically good threads until autists like you report them
Brody Perez
go back to your subreddit
Jose Watson
>Look at this, LT, he's just been sitting alone in his room
>Nothing unusual, lots of people have been self-isolating in recently
>No sir, you don't understand, he's been doing this for almost a decade
>My God! He must have known about the outbreak years ahead of time. Call the Pentagon.
Isaac Lopez
>Agent Thompson, I know you hate doing stakeouts but you can't just blow it off - there is no way this guy spent 20 straight hours posting on a television and film image board without making a single post about television and film
>Sir, I swear it's true and you need to look closer: it says 20 DAYS
>...Mother of God...
Ethan Stewart
Blake Green
>this doesn't make any sense, it appears hes talking to himself and.....practicing facial expressions in the mirror?
>it must be some sort of code!
>my God....GET THE DIRECTOR ON THE LINE, NOW!
Charles Jones
>"Sir he constantly posts the word "based". It must have some deeper meaning or be some sort of code."
>"Based? Based on what?"
Kevin Edwards
>whats this new thing user just wrote...some sorta codeword?
>well, read it out to us, agent
>thats the thing sir, I've never seen it before
>well try your best then!
>right sir, it says, uh "ligm-
>AGENT STOP!
Jacob Cook
kek
Juan Gomez
>sneed? what the heck does that mean?
Aiden Phillips
>Our perp seems to be in contact with somebody at the CIA and a vague "Big Guy"
>Do you think he is law enforcement deep undercover or are his CIA and "Big Guy" connections double agents betraying the government?
Jace Fisher
>I don't get it, Stevens
>It's like he just randomly opens a thread and replies "based"
>There has to be some logic to it, some sort pattern or code
>He's been at if for hours, and my God, he just posted it again, sir!
>Call the cryptology unit and put on a pot of coffee, we're in for a long night
Charles Cruz
>great thread op really television and film related
Nolan Hernandez
>Boss, I just ran a background check on this man
>And?
>Nothing, not a facebook profile, twitter profile, even a fucking MySpace profile. No history of employment, no signs of ever buying a house or renting an apartment, nobody who he apparently went to high school with has ever even heard of him.
>Jesus Christ...
Jonathan Powell
cunt
William Flores
>What's the word on user?
>We sent one of our new interns to his university under cover. She was his biggest crush in high school--
>Stop wasting my time with sentimentals, Agent Smith. What did we squeeze out of the sick fuck?
>You're not gonna believe this, sir. Every time she tried to make contact he pretended like he didn't see her.
>He could've forgotten her after all these years.
>Sir, we're sure he remembers. She reported that when she walked pass him he would never make eye contact or give any hint of recognition but we could see him looking at her at a distance afterwards.
>Jesus Christ...He’s just too good!
Dylan Martin
Fuck got me
Xavier King
>"Sir, he has a tendency to simply comment 'based and redpilled' for unknown reasons."
>"Red pilled? Johnson, this fucker is a drug dealer! I want the DEA on the case! I want to know what kind of street drugs come in red capsules! Intercept his transactions!"
>"S-Sir...we've found no suspicious transactions in his account. All outgoing payments are linked to chicken tenders and imported Japanese cartoon books..."
>"My God, he's a professional. I'm calling in an old friend from retirement."
Mason Green
>"The cryptology unit found a match, Sarge. It's a subtle reference to a three second gag from The Simpsons. Substituting the rhymes "uck" for "eed" brings up "fuck and suck"."
>"Johnson, he must be running an illegal brothel. I want interviews with all his sexual partners immediately."
>"Sarge..."
Liam Scott
>"Sir, he hasnt left his room in four..."
>"FOUR DAYS? How can a man live like this?"
>"...no, I wanted to say... four... weeks..."
>"...what kind of madman are we dealing with. I mean, what does his girlfriend think of this?"
>"...sir..."
William Rodriguez
Everytime I read these threads I imagine it as a conversation between Ed and Frank from the Naked Gun films. Sometimes I add in Nordberg or the guy from "the lab" for extra comedic value. These always make me smile because of this. Thanks anons
Cameron Williams
>Sir, the surveillance photos came back. They show a large number of bottles filled with mysterious yellow substance in his room.
>This guy must be stockpilling, goddamnit. Get the bomb squad on call, I don't want another Oklahoma on my hands
Brody Cruz
Agent, you're off the case. Turn in your gun and your badge. AND YOUR OTHER BADGE
Jonathan Rivera
muh tv and film related, what a faggot you are
William Young
Isaiah Phillips
good thread.
Tyler Ortiz
>Sir! I cracked it! I finally fucking cracked it! All of it.
>Well, what are you waiting for McNulty? Spit it out.
>Okay, what are the two types of images that he posts the most?
>That frog and the bald white guy?
>Yes, exactly. When we examined the images separately we couldn’t find any patterns. We started to think that maybe he was a schizo would just posted the same thing over and over again for no reason—
>I don’t have all day, Detective. Get to it.
>Alone they don’t mean anything BUT look: SNEED. CIA. “SEE, EYE, A”.
>...
>THE GLASSES. Look. The frog wears a tuxedo and who does he make fun of? Jannies! Nothing wrong with that. They provide labor for free. But what does janny wear? GLASSES.
>By God...
>Yes, and glasses allow you to “see”. Who else wears glasses? The bald guy.
>Wait a minute, no he doesn’t.
>No, not at first but recently he started posting him wearing glasses, growing a beard, and a gaping mouth. Don’t you see, chief? IT’S HIM. He left it in the ocean! The SEA. Glasses! “SEE” “I”. See me like the SEA! SNEED!
>My god! ALL UNITS TO THE HARBOR NOW! ALL UNITS TO THE HARBOR NOW! Officer, you just got yourself a promotion.
Noah Hernandez
>Johnson, what about those two people visiting, claiming to be his parents?
>I picked up something on the wiretap, sir. Our subject offered to "take them around the city" but the visitors said that "they already had plans with their friends, just needed a place to stay."
>Hmm... must be code for something. Nobody's that cold, especially on New Year's Eve. Keep at it, Johnson.
>Roger that, sir.
Austin Phillips
>Sir, take a look at this...
>Must be a bot.
>It's all manual, sir.
>...My God.
Ethan Lee
>Sir, he's posted "Bane?" again
>And the replies?
>Exactly the same sequence of posts as the last 232 times.
>I don't get it Stevens, it's always the exact same thread. What is he communicating?
>Maybe it's some sort of check?
>Goddammit you're right! The fucker is pinging a network of agents right under our nose! How many are there?
>78 unique posters and counting sir.
>My God...
Easton Bailey
Fuck you snitch bitch.
Nathaniel Young
Luke Murphy
>all he does is post how he wants a big titted goth gf
>you think its some kind of code?
Robert Fisher
>Must be a code... Sarge, immediately close all A24 movie showings, who knows what they're doing in there....
Jordan Lopez
>her porn folder is like a meat locker, dear lord. its horrific. ive worked in the violent crime division but have never seen shit this sick before. oh god
Lucas Bailey
Fucking lol.
Adam Anderson
>You're telling me this guy doesn't even have a parking ticket? He's like a goddamn ghost!
>A parking ticket, sir? He doesn't even have a driving licence, medical records show he's never interacted with any female sexually, never been employed, his parents claim they haven't seen him for years although he still lives in their basement...
>Who the hell does he think he is? Houdini? He must have accomplices, did you check his Facebook and Instagram, how many contacts does he have?
>Sir... He doesn't have a single social media account either. He's completely off the grid.
>My god... We're dealing with a professional here. Who or should I say what the hell IS that guy? Ex special forces? CIA? NSA? INCEL?
>It says here he's NEET.
>Never heard of them... Must be the upper clandestine echelon of all the alphabet agencies, doesn't even answer to the white house, doing wet work directly for the deep state illuminatis... His whole cover is perfect, no one would ever suspect a virgin unemployed loser of being the most dangerous elite assassin in the United States...
>My god... I thought they only existed in rumors. The National Espionage Encounter Team. Officially they don't even exist. Recall the task force now! We don't stand a chance against this guy.
>Sir! We just intercepted a text message he sent to a contact labeled "MOM". Only one word. "Tendies". What could it possibly mean?
>Must be some kind of code, he's communicating his next step to his handler. A target or a location. Get me the DA on the phone and put out an APB ASAP.
Nolan Miller
I have never had a sexual and emotional pardner sinse i was created to entertain the gods. Ive been of free will and mind from such machinations. No mortal deed will sway my power of self. I shall deny the covet of desire and impurity. My words will become reality the stones i cast shall become magnanimous to all that do not fear my godly wrath.
Charles Hernandez
imagine actually trying to set this up and heaving to deal with the "noise" of retards trying to fit in.
Mason Carter
>Run a background check on this "Chuck" guy
Chase Robinson
Sir, you need to look at this.
>What you got, Bukowski?
Well sir... I was going through last night's transcripts... and at 2:30am the subject posted sixteen times in a Tarkovsky thread. Got into a pretty heated argument.
>A what thread? Speak English, goddammit.
Tarkovsky. The Russian filmmaker, sir.
>Russian, eh? Go on.
Well sir... it all started with this post here... "muh wet wood muh rain indoors muh six-minute dialogue-free car drive". The subject said the poster should "stick to capeshit". Things just escalated from there.
>So what's new? That man has a whole lot of anger. We already know that.
Yes sir. But here's the thing... I checked the thread... and there's only one unique IP address.
>You mean —
That's right sir. The man is arguing with himself.
>Mother of God. You see some sick people in this job but there's always something worse. Do you think we ought to get someone from the psych department in on this?
Already called them, sir. They said they don't want to know.
Ryder Thompson
Landon Bennett
>I... sir- we checked his search history...
>he knows exactly who she is
>he visits her instagram... daily.
Adam Campbell
lel
Gabriel Reyes
>"Sir... you're not going to believe this..."
>"He is posting our conversations directly into a thread on the board."
>"DAMNIT! Has he bugged us? Does he have an insider? What the hell is going on?"
>"I think we're compromised, sir..."
>"Abort mission... I SAID ABORT MISSION!"
Bentley Russell
>These comments, they don't make any sense Sir.
>What do you mean Johnson? I'm sure there's a point to them.
>Well, in one chain of comments he-
>Those are called threads Johnson.
>Sorry sir, this disgusting lingo is difficult to get used to. In one "Thread" he replies to images of woman with "dumb roastie" and "Women are inferior to all men" but in another thread, and I swear this is real sir, he posts images of cancer patients crying and looking sad lamenting the fact he has no girlfriend.
>Johnson...you've just found your first incel. Good work. Add him to the database.
Liam Allen
>Sir he's respond to himself...again.
>And no one can tell?
>No sir. Can I reply to him and call him a samefag?
>No, that might tip our hand. The more he replies to his own unfunny posts the better position we'll be in. Keep an eye on him. No one can possibly think he's witty.
Jaxon Lopez
kek
Luis Murphy
it's not my fault you haven't seen this episode faggot
Tyler Jackson
>he...did it again sir.
>did what?
>He posted his opinion, someone disagreed with him, he insulted them and then closed the window.
>good god, his faggotry is escalating.
Jack Sullivan
>Sir, you're gonna want to have a look at this.
>What is it, Johnson?
>I ran an APB on our guy, and get this: there's nothing. He doesn't have a driver's licence, no car or house on his name, no next of kin, and no one from his school remembers seeing him in the last few years. His gym membership expired years ago.
>These kind of people are pretty smart, Johnson, they can hide their tracks.
>That's the thing, sir. He's not hiding. He applied to three different colleges in the last few years and dropped out of all three in the first year. His colleagues report that he'd just stop showing up to classes.
>He must be using university as a front for something shady. What about girlfriends? It's saturday night, he can't be hiding there all the time.
>We don't know where he is, sir, but none of the women he talked to were ever romantically involved with him. Each time one of our patrols tries to check into his apartment, they see a silhouette at the window, quickly rolling down the blinds to make sure no one sees anything.
>My god, what kind of weirdo are we dealing with here?
John Lewis
lol i get that reference
Isaac Butler
> Sir, SIR!
> I need to speak with you in private
> we’ve been caught, the jig is up
> what do you mean? Did he come outside and confront our stakeout agents?
> no, no he hasn’t moved
> then what’s changed?
> Somehow he’s bugged the undercover agents, our phones and maybe even your office
> mother of god that’s bad, so he’s blackmailing us right? Jesus, this is out of my pay grade .
> no, he hasn’t contacted us, all he’s doing is writing up our conversations in green font with “smaller than” symbols in front of each sentence. Often occpwnied by a image of a frog
> a frog? Did the French ever get back to us? I’m not ruling out foreign legion
Colton Gutierrez
>we've got some new activity, sir
>give it to me, johnson
>the suspect seems to have started opening a number of threads and leaving strong negative opnions about the tv show or movie the thread is discussing
>that seems pretty normal
>no, sir, we've gone through his records and... there's no evidence confirming the suspect has ever seen the material he's commenting on. No rental history, purchase history, not even any piracy
>what. But why woul-
>that's not all sir. He seems to be, responding to his initial post and agreeing with his own opnion as if to be attracting further attention to himself.
>dear god. What kind of sick son of a bitch are we dealing with
Cameron Edwards
>Sir! He just posted something else.
>What is it Johnson?
>It says "basé"
>Call the DGSE
Isaac Long
>So he browses the television and film forum and doesn't even own a tv? What his endgame?
>According to his watch history he hasn't watched anything at all in months.
>He's a real psycho this one.
Thomas Cox
I can't wait until all these underage faggots go back to school so i can sit here in my underpants and shitpost ontopic