“Go ahead, user, pitch us your film”

A remake of spiderman, with a scene where Uncle Ben turns and looks into the camera.

*cocks shotgun*

the asian one, she sucks my cock

It's a remake of a beloved American classic

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x-men but with a bunch of original characters that are sad, there are no clearly defined heroes or villains just a bunch of people who dont like each other, some are kind of likeable or relateable, but ultimately they destroy the world, the character who delivers the final blow is left alone in a desolate wasteland and sadder than ever.

Starring:
Anne Hathaway as Becky
John Krasinski as Chad
Josh Hartnett as Brad
Michael Pena as Officer Dredd

Directed by Ron Underwood

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I like it, go on.

so watchmen with a more devastating ending

a series of fake documentaries about fictional outsider artists.

Why would I bother pitching to 3 women and 3 blacks, you wouldn't listen and if you did it would fail anyway.

lmao yes

my movie pitch is an anti-hero action film. The main character is a racist incel and he kills blacks for 2 hours straight, evading the incompetent police and taunting the media.

i guess, but more focused on broken people failing to deal with finding out they have superpowers and keeping them in check

dirty harry already exists user

>A fish out of water comedy western about a stereotypical jewish family from the city trying to make it as settlers on the frontier.

That's just An American Tail with no mice.

>Why would I bother pitching to 3 women and 3 blacks, you wouldn't listen and if you did it would fail anyway.

“Go ahead, user, pitch us your film”

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Sounds like someone is CHICKEN

BAWK BAWK

FIRST WE TAKE ALL THE JEWS

There's still a woman, fuck off.

a capeshit about a guy who can fly in a world with no other superheroes or villains, he tries to become a superhero but due to the power of flight on its own not being that useful (anyone with a ladder could do pretty much anything he could) and his lack of imagination on how to use his power, and his inability to actually find any crimes that are happening to stop, and even if he did someone with a gun could just easily defeat him, he gets famous for a little while but turns into a laughing stock eventually, people take advantage of him and rip him off because hes not that bright.

A sweeping epic about the crimes of the Jews throughout history.

A boy falls in love with a girl.
Unable to confess, he is gifted with by a deus ex machina with the girl's phone number. Never minding the strange area code, he immediately calls her, and is overjoyed to find out that she has a crush on him as well.
But, the next day, when he recounts the previous day's confessions to the girl, she only looks at him with a perplexed expression. After some investigation, he finds out that the girl he called is not the same girl he fell in love with. In fact, she doesn't exist in this universe at all. She is the girl's alternate universe counterpart, who has fallen in love with the MC's own AU self, who too is blissfully unaware of her crush.
Hijinks ensue as the two strike up a deal to give each other their darkest, most private secrets in order to equip the other with the weapons they need to conquer the heart of their other selves. While the two chase their respective loved ones, DRAMA ensues as they begin to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of LOVE.

a movie in which the antagonist is a woman

Pitch me your film bro. You've got my undivided attention.

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Could make a really good black comedy

Reminds me of that movie Super

>Boats
>just boats

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an inept private detective is put into witness protection, he gets the feeling that theres something weird with the small town hes placed in, but he continuously fails to unravel the mystery and just gets in trouble with everyone. unbeknownst to him and everyone else, pretty much everyone in the town is in witness protection, including an ex mob guy who runs a butchers, an ex prostitue with severe prstd after witnessing a horrific murder working as a librarian, a charasmatic con man who everyone loves working as a mechanic who sleeps with all the women except the ex prostitue, but mostly the mob guys wife.a rotation crew of undercover agents who are usually on this assignment as some form of punishment, etc

a jewish woman user

Goodfellas, but in Mexico.

Director?

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not sure how to explain the bullshit science, but this is fiction so who cares, a solar system that is filled with hundreds of planets capable of supporting life, follows an explorer looking for the perfect place, just going from planet to planet exploring the multide or magical alien terrains, flora and fauna, occasionally running into some other people who are maybe traders or people looking for exotic resources or maybe space pirates or whatever, but not focused on that because theres enough space to explore and hardly ever bump into anyone else. the central planet where the people are all originally from is just one big giant super advanced scifi city covering the whole planet.

>There's still a woman, fuck off.

"Sorry about that. I asked Elizabeth to leave. Go ahead, user, pitch me your film”

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Sounds like a teen movie. I'd watch.

Movie follows a chimp called Dunston. He checks in.

black beta male finds love

>It's the future
>most cars are smart cars connected to a network
>a hacker organization infiltrates the network and infects every car on the system with a virus
>all the cars start trying to kill all humans.

i dunno havent really thought about it but my mind jumped to david lynch just cos of the twin peaks, small town, weird, dark comedy, mystery vibe. but really it could be a lot of people, it would probably have to be a bunch of different people if its a tv show, cos im thinking it would work better as a tv show

the wire but less black folk

A virus outbreak causes a widespread panic which leads into a mad max-like situation
A bunch of social outcasts form a clan and start building a kowloon-like city, completely self sufficient and isolated from the rest of the world, which has gone mad
Then the virus evolves and starts killing all non-virgins
So the clan has to find the last remaining virgin woman to start repopulating
Final scene is a giant disgusting orgy
I will need 55 Million

pokemon but monsters are scary and trying to kill you.

I had GAY sex

I like it

I was getting more of a Cohen brothers vibe 2beeh. Lynch makes it way more weird and potentially supernatural than I originally planned.

>boy falls in love with a girl

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ops pic related with all non black males replaced with blacks and all non whie females replaced with whites

oh yeah its porn for you coomers

Love finds a way.

more magical realism/dark mystery than supernatural but yeah, coen brothers would be good too i guess, if they did it in a more noir vibe

>F&F familia meets the xXx Initiative
>Post-credits scene teases a crossover with Transformers

Thanks for you patience user, the consul will hear your pitch now.

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Guess it depends how hars you want to lean into absurd comedy. I'd watch it either way.

I'd cast Doug Savant as the MC.

This, but with trains, planes and boats as well

...

directed by the Coen Brothers

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Movie is called The Virgin Killer. Movie starts with a guy looking through craigslist ads. He finds a gorgeous girl who says she's interested in hooking up with a virgin. She warns that she's only interested in virgins. The guy meets up with her. She ties him up on the bed and proceeds to brutally murder him. The protagonist is introduced as a lonely virgin college student. He meets a girl in class and is immediately infatuated with her. He tries to talk to her but pussies out at the last second. He goes home and decides he wants to lose his virginity. He goes online and sees the ad. It's the girl from his class and she says she wants to hook up with a virgin. He spends the next few days watching her in class, trying to decide if she's serious about hooking up with virgins. Or if she's even the one who posted the ad. Eventually he works up the courage to arrange to meet with her at a motel. They begin to talk and it turns out they have a lot in common and immediately click. Girl asks the boy if he really wants to sleep with her. He pussies out. But they decide to become friends instead. One night he notices the girl walking home with a creepy guy. Worried for her safety, he follows her only to discover her brutally murdering the guy. He confronts her, and she she doesn't deny being a murderer. She asks him to sleep with her, he declines and leaves. MC discovers that the girl is part of a coven of witches that requires virgin sacrifices, the men she killed lied about being virgins and were murdered for being useless to the coven. But then he also realizes that the girl wanted to sleep with him to protect him from the coven that had been monitoring all it's members and had set their sights on him. The coven sends out six witches to kill him, but the girl kills them all. Now on the run, the girl asks him one more time if he wants to sleep with her. He finally agrees.

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Here's my pitch: a movie with Rachel McAdams in it

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theres a lightning strike while he was riding his bike
now he reads real fast hes good in science and math
black doctor

now its a romantic comedy featuring a car voiced by Julia Roberts and .....I don't know some chubby beardo comdian who fall in love because of the virus

Meta commentary on remakes. Characters trying to escape from a force that is altering their memories and rewriting history.