The Prince of Egypt

God never explicitly said to be one of the local gods though. Abraham just assumed it.

There’s no evidence Jews were ever enslaved in ancient Egypt.

Old testament God is extremely petty. He wouldn't do that shit

>sees a staff turn into a snake in real time
>not convinced
>sees an entire river turn to blood in an instant
>not convinced
>sees a million frogs stroll up, a torrent of locusts, fire rain down from the sky, and watch as you and your people get bubos
>not convinced
>son gets whacked in the middle of the night
>AAAAAAA NO OK I GET IT YOU CAN GO AAAAAAA
>JUST KIDDING NIGGA I LEARNED NOTHING NOW I HAVE TO KILL YOU
Ramses was fucked in the head.

Or if God wasn't the one responsible for hardening Pharaoh's heart. He's like "Hey Moses, I have a project for you. But I'm going to cockblock you the whole way until I've had My fun. See ya."

My favorite is when God told Moses His name, and Moses was like "No way!" And God was like "Yahweh!"

all i can think of when i remember this movie is the Creeping Death. Which then makes me remember how good Metallica was.
youtube.com/watch?v=z5mP0WTzqG4

Pick one:
>God can do whatever He wants to His creation and it will be always good as He is good itself and can decide what is moral and immoral
>Hebrew writing style where things like "John had his foot out and a caananite guard tripped because of it" are the same as "John tripped the caananite guard."

Just saying that God was kinda a dick to the Jews during Exodus. He was the one who made Pharaoh keep the Hebrews enslaved, and He was the one keeping Pharaoh from letting them go until they reached Plague 10. God wasn't about to let the Jews out of Egypt because of a snake-stick.

>He was the one who
Like I said, pick one of the two interpretations of Pharaoh's heart being hardened by God.

So, Moses left Egypt, went to Mt. Sinai to meet Jethro's family. Didn't cross the Red Sea. Then he went back to Egypt to see Pharaoh. Again, didn't cross the Red Sea. Then, when the Hebrews were freed, they went back to Mt. Sinai, but now there's the Red Sea in their way. WTF

I liked this adaptation way better than DeMille's Ten Commandments. In 10C, if Moses had kept his fucking mouth shut for a couple years, he would have become Pharaoh and could have freed the Hebrews, no muss, no fuss. Instead, he hears a rumor that he's a Hebrew, and jumps directly into a mud pit. Dipshit.

>Jews are such shit that even their God just fucks with them.

There is zero archeological evidence for the jews ever being slaves in Egypt. At this point we're not even sure if Egyptians actually practiced slavery, let alone subjugated another ethnos.

>the two advisor magicians to the pharaoh are steve martin and martin short
kino

The whole of Old Testament boils down to
>hebrews fucks up
>gets punished but given the chance to make up for it
>hebrews fucks up
>rinse and repeat

God rolling up and being like "Hey, god here, here to tell you guys to cut this shit out. Not cool, guys." would have solved the entire old testament. But I guess that's not as flashy as plagues and floods and whatever the fuck he did to Sodom and Gomorrah.

Who built the pyramids, then? Your typical serf-like class? I don't really know how Ancient Egypt hierarchy was arranged though.

Paid laborers.

Ramses was right

Watch a true magician!

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He was PHARAOH nowadays world leaders don't have that much clout but back then he was almost nearly God in the flesh to his people. The Pharaohs had a level of control over their land that very few governments could match in history. He was the head civil, war, and religious leader all in one and then some more on top of that. The entire kingdom acted on his whim.

Heh. So much for that "free will" bullshit

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You have free will to do anything you want... as long as its in line with gods divine plan and it does because he knows whats going to happen anyway ;)

What did Sam Ramses mean by this?

The Goa'uld.

>Moses, if I have to go to the ends of the earth to do it - I will destroy every single jew in this world starting with the hooknose right infront of me.

What did Sam Ramses mean by this?

BUT RAMSES DOES NOT LET YOUR PEOPLE GO AT HIS PARRRRTTEEEEEEEEEEE

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>you can do whatever you want
>but if you do this I'll vaporize your entire city
How do biblefags even take this seriously?

heh

It's not about being Hebrew, it's about obeying what God commands.

>nowadays world leaders don't have that much clout
I bet you the Pharos didn't rape and sacrifice children to Moloch.

Was nacho libre arthouse?

>Ok Ramses, I brought in locusts and famine and killed your son. now give me the shekels and my foreskins...
>Moses, im sorry that my fake version of skydaddy is a total faggot. Please take all the gold and i wont chase you down in a chariot.
*PORTAL OPENS* IN THE SPACE-TIME RIFT*
>Hitler emerges in full Nazi Regalia
>puts a bullet into the back of moses head
>"IM FREEEE" screams hitler
>his current self reconfigures into the Stain-verse
>he morphs into the tranny liberal hipster artist he always wanted to be.
>immediately starts painting pictures of dicks.

If God wanted pharaoh to release the jews, why did he harden his heart?

Aliens

God has a very twisted sense of humor. It was also the reason he sent Moses and didn't ask for it himself

To make it a point that HE released them from Egypt. So everyone would know it was God that did it and to teach the Egyptians a lesson.

It's the same reason when Moses said "Hey I can turn off the frogs, just tell me when you want them off." An Ramses said "Uhh turn them off tomorrow."

Nephilims

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I hate jews and musicals but Prince of Egypt is turbokino.

youtube.com/watch?v=HXmru6NrSAY

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>Moses would rather be some nobody pharoh that no one would remember
>or the dude that parted the red sea because of God and be remembered for all time

yeah

>Blocks ur free will

What did God mean by this?

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Too basic. You wanna really impress people, you do that in a tank top.

He wanted the Egyptians to know that HE was sending all those plagues. A locust horde or frogs coming out of nowhere can be explained but back to back to back to back makes you start believing that God is doing it because Pharaoh doesn't release them.

It was a public works program to employ the peasents in between the growing seasons.

Pretty retarded logic desu.

Was God a simp?

Stop acting stupid. You know damn well people would try to reason out of these plagues
>oh it's just a wet month, THAT'S why the frogs are showing up
>oh it's just that time of month when the locusts come
>oh it's just that time of month, THAT'S why fleas are fucking us up
>oh it's just a random occurrence as to fire coming down from the sky

>There’s no evidence Jews were ever enslaved in ancient Egypt.
What is the bible you idiot?

Farmers in the off-season who were housed, fed, and recieved tax breaks for their work.

Doesn't the bible literally say that God hardend Ramses' heart so Moses would get denied, and God would have his way by throwing all that horrible shit at the innocent Egyptians that had no say in the matter?

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>What is the bible you idiot?

A book written by jews who wanted to trick the goyim. It worked real well.

See

I think he wanted Ramses to choose to believe in him and do the right thing because he truly knew it was right and not because he was in his feelings about his brother

He literally does this like 10 times in a row to the same village during Abraham’s time and as soon as he leaves they just 180 and go right back to idol worship. The point is to teach people to want to be better not behave just because he’s literally standing right next to you

>gets proven wrong numerous times and shown you're nothing and none of your gods can defy the real god
>decides to fight an almighty god
>all die
>his name isn't even recorded in the bible
What the fuck was his problem?