In the board moderation system, shitposting based offenses are considered especially heinous. In Yas Forums - Television and Film, the dedicated jannies who investigate these vicious anons are members of an unpaid squad known as the 404 Unit. These are their stories.
CHUNG CHUNG
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I'm surprised there weren't more spin-offs of Law & Order.
Nice
>Broad daylight, Tuesday afternoon
>a well dressed Frog is seen walking away from a dumpster as he tosses a spray can down an alley
>an overweight user walks up to the dumpster intent on finding his next meal or failing that something to watch on Netflix
>he opens the lid of the dumpster to find a pink haired girl with her face brutally bashed in and a mallet covered in gore
>he stumbles away screaming for MODS as we pan down the front of the dumpster to reveal the graffito
>ALL WOMEN ARE WHORES
MY CHILDREN POST ON THE INTERNET TOO, SCUMBAG
not counting international versions like L&O UK and the true crime doccushow there's 4 direct spin offs with a 5th announced today and at least 7 or 8 sister shows set in the same universe like the Chicagos
Who's the big guy NOW, huh? Start talking before I make it extremely painful for YOU!
Posting racial slurs outside of Yas Forums should be punishable by death penalty
Munch, what do you think of this shitposter and his trolling?
>Residence of Janny the First
>Disused Bedsit, Backalley
In real life, there's no resetting your router!
*CHUNG CHUNG
>munch and finn enter warehouse, guy is busy moving boxes,
>finn: yo are you user?
>user: who wants to know?
>munch flashes badge: we are your lack of tax dollars at work
>user: whoa man I've never been on Yas Forums before, you think I'm a NEEt, I'm at work right now. No wonder they don't pay you.
>finn: well guess what smart ass? Your boss told us the IP address we found belonged to your workstation laptop.
>munch: we know you're a regular user, and a tripfag, sooner you talk quicker you get back to work
user:sighs* okay maybe I did post bane and s'n'e'e'd threads a few days ago but I did my time, haven't been back sense
>finn: guess what? we don't Care about that! A little girl was posted you better start taking *grabs user and throws him agaisnt the wall.
>user: Whoa! Hold on, the second shift guy uses the computer too, he's always taking about waifu's
>munch: any idea where we can find him? your boss doesn't have a current address for him
>user: no but he hangs out at the playground on 3rd and grand.
CHUNG CHUNG
>walks up to the dumpster intent on finding his next meal or failing that something to watch on Netflix
Heh
Bumping for a potential kino thread.
Get in here fuckers. Let's keep it going
POSTING GREEN OVALS YOU SICK FREAK? WHAT'S THAT, CODE FOR SEX TRAFFICKING?
*breaks wooden barstool over suspect*
>munch: the green oval was used by the pagans for centuries to signify the new year "another ring on the tree of life"
>finn: yeah only lately kids have been posting it along with furry or mlp gifs, kids are calling it sludgewhip
The vic sure liked his Hot Pockets.
>theres this new drug where you mix hotpockets with toilet paper and skittles, kids are calling it $need
Heard it turns em into trolls or somesuch
Why do the best threads always die?
It's the man's right, he's not breaking any laws.
This place is truly dead. Has been for awhile, although it was still not decomposed enough to where the smell wasn't making you vomit, we're there now.
TELL ME ABOUT "BANE"! WHY DO YOU POST ABOUT HIM? WHY IS HE SO IMPORTANT?
>what do you mean he's a "simp"?
And they loved him back.
>'It's internet shorthand for "She I Must Please", you post it as a reply if it looks like the other user's post is written in such a way to get an "e-girl's" attention, and hopefully affection'
*Chung chung
Baxter park 3rd and grand: munch and finn on the scene. See a guy with a phone with 4 leaf clover case taking pics of girls on swings, user sees them and starts running, M&F pursue, catch up to him and cuff him,
>user: hey man you can't do this, I got a Yas Forums pass. I'm no NEET i gotta get across town to work in an hour
>munch: we'll give you a ride, get in...I've got a LOLIpop.
Interrogation room, M&F with park user
>fin: you gotta start talking man, we know about your work laptop and all the lolis you been postin.
>user:so what? Yeah I did it, they ain't naked though, it ain't illegal
>munch: so you think there aren't pictures of those girls nude huh!? Little girls being exposed by a pervert like you to spread a link encoded in the file name? All under the guise of it being semi legal?
>user: man you got nothin on me, can't prove I didn't get those pictures from somebody else *gives weird look
>finn: what you mean? somebody gave you those photos?
>user: not only gave them threatened to ban me if I didn't post them.
>munch: and who might this mystery user be?
>user: you've met him, he's the guy who works before me at the warehouse
>finn: yeah yeah we know about that IP address, he checked out besides he was banned.
>user laughs: you guys ever hear of reseting a router? You jannies don't even see the biggest crimes right in front of you do ya?
M&F exchange a look of worry
*CHUNG CHUNG
>T, you gotta be kiddin'. They do it fuh free? Ah fongool!
>These people aren't to be trusted, Christopher. Don't bring them to da Bing no more they don't got money ta spend
Wanna explain the folder of "waifus" we found with your name on it, fool?
You ain't got nuttin' on me jannie, plus I heard you do it for free!
feel free to look around officers. I assure you I had nothing to do with the stolen film reel
*Chung chung
At the residence (parents house) of 1st shift user. Munch and fin on the scene.
*knock knock knock
>mom user answers with door cracked: hello can I help you?
>munch: ma'am were here looking for your son user, may we come in?
>mom: oh yes, I didn't know user had friends would you like some tendies or mountain dew?
>fin: no ma'am we're trying to figure out if your son is a pedophile l.
>mom: oh no he couldn't be, why he spends all day looking at cartoons, I don't even think he's *mom leans in whispering... ya know, sexual...he's just always loved little kids anime and never grew out of it.
>munch: well ma'am we're gonna need to get in touch with him
>mom: oh he's in his room.
Mom takes them to room, she knocks, *shuffling sounds, fin kicks open door, window is open and laptop open revealing hardcore CP.
M&F exhange look of grief
How bout we talk about this down the station? The gas station, where I live in the utility closet. Step into my office.
>munch and finn notice /k/ tab
>finn yells and jumps out of he room as soon as the bomb goes off
KINO
TELL ME ABOUT THE BANEPOSTER, WHY DO YOU SAY HE'S A BIG GUY?
Nice addition, still writing the rest, you can add that in.
thread is kino asf keep going
M&F back at the station talking to captain.
>captain: so you want me to put out an APB on this guy? Done. Any leads on his friends or whereabouts?
>munch: that's the think sir, we've looked in to it, this guy doesn't have any friends. Seems he's the lone wolf type.
>captain: well there's gotta be somebody, go back to his highschool check his social media, everything.
>fin: that's the thing captain, we have. The kids a ghost, no Facebook no Twitter nothin
>munch: it was weird, even his mom said he was a loser
>fin: it was cold
>captain: well let's do this the old fashioned way, start knocking on doors starting with his neighborhood.
Lethally based
*Chung Chung
M&F casing neighborhood in civilian car, roll up on obvious tranny with too much makeup.
>munch: that seem like the kind of "gal" that would be around this middle class utopia?
>fin: man you trippin, he's just a wanna be hoe. Probably not even from here just servicing the real pervs, dats upper class white dudes.
>munch: ha ha yeah we're all perverts, I won't mention blacks are 3× as likely to be homosexual.
Suddenly trans women gets a call, starts walking the other way. They follow to an alley, they see suspect call tranny to him and chase after him. They catch him and let the tranny go.
>munch: well hello user, we thought you weren't popular but I guess you are with the "ladies"
Gotta take 20 min, for bullshit, if you guys want the ending of the story keep bumping the thread faggots!!
>user is trapped in a basement
>2 black girls are rubbing his back
>one of them says "he cute"
>MY CHILDREN POST ON THE INTERNET
We know, dad. We leveled up.
what is that suposed to be? a Jugaloo?
Nice digits btw
Law and Order had an episode where gamers acted like Isis terrorists.
...... AND THE GOD DAMNED BAT MAN.......!!!
>gamers acted like Isis terrorists.
Classic pro gamer move
*CHUNG CHUNG
Interrogation room with suspect
>fin:come on man, we got you, we know you gave pictures to other anons to post.
>munch: its really over this time user, this time we have someone who will testify agaisnt you, your old pal 2nd shift user, he's right in the next room spilling his guts.
>user: *scoffs and gives a menacing look / You idiots don't even get PAID, do you know what I go through just to make ends NEET? I know things you can't even imagine... you think loli and tubgirl or even petite legals are an issue? Ha ha you idiots arrested me instead. *laughing maniacally
>fin: what you talkin bout? You mean there's a bigger problem to this site that you aren't telling me?
>user: YES!!!! yes you idiots the trannys!! That tyranny you idiots let go was the culprit, who else would actually find kids attractive?
>munch: so where can we find this man again? If you tell us I'll only ban you for2 days.
>you don't understand, he's from reddit you idiot, nothing I could do or say could get you to understand these fucktards. You've lost, he is genderless and fluid, you'll never find him because he's everywhere now.
*whole room looks at eachother. Then fade to black
CHUNG CHUNG
Be happy to do a sequel if you guys want.
And then they did this.
youtu.be
LEVEL UP
>this thread
GO HOME GAMER GIRL
did they DMCA the redchannit clip out of existence?
Beat me to it.
>Benson and Stabler arrive to investigate but find the overweight user, less than helpful
>"You're sure you can't think of anything else out of the ordinary? Her body was still warm when the EMS arrived, there had to be something you saw or maybe heard?
>"I'm telling you I didn't see jack. Can I go now?"
>"Just a second, WHAT?" Stabler turns to find one of the forensic techs.
>"I'm sorry what do you got?"
>"Well from what we can tell we have a female in her early 20's killed by obvious blunt force trauma, and we've pulled some decent prints off the murder weapon but the dumpster itself is lousy with 'em, we might get another hit off that but we're thinking we're good with the murder weapon. Judging by the condition we found her body in we'd guess we missed our perp by no more 10 minutes, so that would put her attack and death at 10:23.
>"Good work, let us know if-"
>"Oh yeah, somebody took the girl's socks off her feet in the time between she was killed and the time our first responders arrived."
>Benson turns to the fat user again, "Sir, would you empty your pockets for me please?"
>"Hey w-w-what? I'm not on trial here I-"
>"Do as she says!" Stabler barks. And user instantly produces the missing pink socks.
>"What are you trying to pull, you SICK BASTARD!"
>"Hey c'mon man! It's not like she was gonna need 'em!
>Stabler slams the guy up against a wall, maybe a little too hard.
>"Easy partner." Benson says
>"I oughta haul you in on tampering charges!"
>"C'mon man, it's Yas Forums, that's just how things are around here."
>"Stabler." Benson says calmly and almost distractedly.
>Stabler turns to see Benson looking to a small bodega across the street. A small figure standing just inside the entrance.
>Barely containing his rage he manages to let go of the scruff of user's dingy Rick and Morty shirt dropping him to sidewalk.
>"Get the hell out of here... AND LEAVE THE SOCKS!"
*CHUNG CHUNG
Good but could be better. 7/10
>it's a "Stabler forcefeeds a suspected incel his own keyboard and gets a mild frown from the captain for it" episode
He's back bros
>Christopher Meloni is returning to the Dick Wolf fold.
>The former Law & Order: SVU star is set to reprise his role as Elliot Stabler in a new drama from procedural king Dick Wolf. The as-yet untitled SVU offshoot has been picked up straight to series at NBC with a 13-episode order.
>The series is the first to stem from Wolf's recent massive five-year, nine-figure overall deal that included multiple series orders for various platforms within the NBCUniversal fold.
>The project revolves around an NYPD organized crime unit led by Stabler. The new series will also be set in New York, paving the way for crossovers with SVU and a reunion with his former co-star Mariska Hargitay and her iconic detective Olivia Benson.
at least he tried asshole.
I make a whole fucking episode just to get people to respond. and you fuck with a guy trying to bump the thread?
fuck off doomer! we got better things to do. like come up with episodes of SVU that are funny! so FUCK OFF
