HARRY DID YOU COUGH IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE?
HARRY DID YOU COUGH IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE?
Anthony Hall
Carter Roberts
>yes, yes, very good World Health Organization, very good
>HOWEVER
Jonathan Morris
He asked coofly
Isaac Cooper
>he coughed calmly
Easton Myers
>he farted calmly
Sebastian Edwards
Yes yes, very good Wuhan, very good good Wuhan...
........
Gabriel Garcia
>Not Wuhan, not Wuhan
>Not Wuhan eh? It that case, better be ITALY!
David Campbell
36 ROLLS? BUT YESTERDAY YOU GOT 37!
Juan Bell
BATS!!!!!!!! IN THE SOUP!!!!!!!!!
Jack Jenkins
Harry... Did I ever tell you about my youth? It was a dreadful thing.. You see in my youth there was this ah, what do the muggles call them? Virus, yes virus, going around, it was named the Wuhan Flu, after the place in China. The statue of secrecy was in effect then, I was with my old friend Grindelwald in my family's estate alongside my brother and younger sister.
You see due to this virus, we had an argument over the lack of supplies, it is to my great shame that a fight over some toilet paper caused my sister to die... I will never forgive Grindelwald for leaving with the last roll.
I owl him some letters from time to time, you see this is the great thing Harry, a great thing indeed, I tell the jailors at Nurmengard Castle to cut down on the toilet roll, and I owl sheets of toilet roll to Grindelwald one piece at a time, it's why I've lived so long Harry, I need to live to continue this task, I won't let Grindelwald beat me, not again.
That is why if I can give you some prudent advice young Harry? Always keep some toilet roll in your robes, you can't go wrong.
Luke Russell
>Yes, very good Italy, very good
>HOWEVER
Liam Bailey
>he said calmly
Gavin Watson
This thread likely won't go far playing on the current situation with the COVID-19 outbreak considering how we're dealing with the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
Christian Flores
>looks in the mirror of Erised
>sees a bunch of toilet paper
Alexander Hall
>never misses a thread
based
Owen Baker
LOL
Adam Johnson
No more blasted virus through THIS letterbox!
Jack Brooks
Well some of them are quite a bit softer this time....
Kayden Edwards
Why did he try and stop harry from leaving if he hated him?
Adam Turner
Because they're under lockdown. He might be a jerk but he obeys the law.
Jack Lopez
COVID! IN THE DUNGEON! COOOOOOVID IN THE DUNGEON!
....thought you ought go.
Ian Powell
>The Ministry of Magic has fallen. The Minister of magic has tested positive.
>They are coughing
>They are coughing...
Evan Richardson
....well, shit.
Blake Anderson
kek
Josiah Wood
STAY SIX FEET AWAY FROM ME HARRY!
Bentley Gomez
>*underbreath*
>No problem...
Kayden Edwards
You guys are the best.
Carter Cruz
Nicholas Ross
haha outshined by another thread how does that make you feel? Try not being so shit at pastas next time.
lmao sheep
Charles Bailey
>THE SOCIAL DISTANCING MEASURES HAVE BEEN LIFTED, I CAN TOUCH YOU NOW
Jayden Kelly
>10 Points from Griffindor... And young Potter, I hope you enjoy your Quarantine, for kissing Cho Chang.
Austin Perez
>lockdown gets lifted after no contact with women for weeks
Dylan Cooper
*cough*
Jonathan Barnes
he swore he would put a stop to all that rubbish. An oath like that is sacred to an englishman
Mason Harris
Who the fuck allowed Slitherinfags to take all of our supplies?
Alexander Brooks
>We're going away! FAR AWAY, where it can't find us!
Juan Ward
>Fine day, Sunday. In my opinion best day of the week. And why is that?
Charles Rivera
There's no host on Sunday?
Ryder Sullivan
Isaiah Fisher
Coughs and fevers, markets fretting,
Stop this stupid virus spreading!
Isaac Morgan
Lmao
Angel Reyes
Why does this make the potter tranny and his reddit posts seethe so much?
Gavin Morris
................
Kevin Davis
>walks into a grocery store
>WE'LL TAKE THE LOT
Isaac Lee
Nice damage control. Face it there's nothing remotely funny or memorable about your shitty pasta. Come back with better material.
Thomas Morgan
>Chinese flu-UUUU
Adrian Hill
You're infected, Harry.
Josiah Collins
>I'm what?
>Infected. And a thumpin' dead one, I wager, once you've coughed up a bit.
Colton Torres
Why is he so mad bros? Is it because /lit/ hurt his feelings?
Levi Fisher
Samuel Roberts
Accio bogroll
James Scott
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>a-aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
"AH!"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Kayden Carter
now make a coughing version
Adrian Gutierrez
Jaxson Howard
>Don't you understand how she must be feeling? ...Well, obviously she's feeling wheezy about the infection in her lungs, and then sweaty about the fever and tired because it saps all of your energy. Conflicted because Trump is threatening not pay her NEETbux and frightened of not getting an ICU bed because they're so busy treating everyone else.
>One person couldn't feel all that, they'd explode!
>Just because you've got the immune system of a boomer doesn't mean everybody else does!
Levi Price
>RESPIRATUS DEFLATUS
Xavier Stewart
COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF
COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF
COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF
COOF COOF COOF
>c-cooooooooooof
“SNNF!”
COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF
COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF
COOF COOF COOF COOF COOF
COOF COOF COOF
Henry Bell
It is not in the nature of a virus to feel pity.
Isaac Diaz
literally my dad right now
Joshua Cox
yes
Jayden Evans
The Italians have an exceptionally powerful healthcare system. Only an exceptionally powerful virus could have overwhelmed it! Something far beyond the talents of a mere flu...
Jaxson Perez
>I didn't hex your soup
Can't believe how racist those wizards were
Austin Wilson
THE VACCCINE! GIVE ME THE BLASTED VACCINE!