Jennifer Carpenter is my distant relative (3rd cousin or something) and she’s a total fucking bitch. I see her about once a year at family gatherings or weddings, and she’s such an insufferable cunt. One time I went to play Bocce ball with her and my aunt one time and my aunt had to go the bathroom. It was kind of awkward, but I made small talk, talking about Dexter and her acting career. When i bent over to tie my shoe, Jennifer picked up a Bocce ball and repeatedly beat my skull in until I had no proper function of anything below my neck. My eyes filled with blood and my vision was reduced to a pinpoint, but right before she delivered the final blow, ending my life, i could hear her deep voice whisper in my ear: “I’m more man than you’ll ever be, incel.”
Jennifer Carpenter is my distant relative (3rd cousin or something) and she’s a total fucking bitch...
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That was pretty rude of her
I always thought she was a bitch. Good to have my suspicions confirmed.
Sounds like you deserved it
did you get an erection?
wheres the infetterence?
My eyes are the same color as her’s.
God I wish this were me
jeez, that pic...awful manly bone structure
This. 2/10, OP. The grocery store pasta will never be topped.
t. slack-jawed faggot
Good job, I read the whole thing
Try to watch this in its entirety. Post results.
Lol they deleted it from youtube
reminds me more of this one, which is superior imo
I was in a local healthy/expensive type supermarket here in College Station, Texas(we have a lot of those) and I'm in line to buy some ham at the deli there. The lady asked me what kind, and I said "I have no fucking idea what different kinds of ham there are lady" ENTIRELY to loudly and the guy behind me in line I hadn't noticed burst the hell up laughing.
I turn around. Steve Martin.
He kinda half leans around me and says "Honey glazed!" to the lady over the counter and I just kinda stare at him for a sec then smile and say thanks. I'm about to pay for it and he says "No way this one's on me" and pays the check for it right there. I was astounded, it was so awesome that I did the only thing I could think of ... The Three Amigos salute. Once again he cracks up and asked me if I had any idea how long it had been since someone did that. I said "a year?" he said "try ten".
We ended up having coffee at a place across the street. Turns out he bought a house in Monticeto, a really expensive residensial area in SB, and has been living there a while. We talked about everything that wasn't his career for about 45 minutes before he had to take off because his deli stuff was gonna go bad. I shook his hand and said he made my year today. He smiled and beat my head in with a tire iron. I looked up from the floor, my eyes covered in my own blood as I made out a blury image of an anvil being hoisted above his head. Through the ringing in my ears I couldn't hear his probably witty parting line before the anvil came crashing down, ending my life.
I don't believe you.
Because she is my WIFE
kek one of my favourites
Based Jennifer, dabbing on incels
All yours
Based ADHD retard putting his spastication aside to read a short paragraph of text on the internet.
>One time I went to play Bocce ball with her and my aunt one time and my aunt had to go the bathroom
You know there's no time limit on the internet, you had all the time in the world to make a post that doesn't make you seem or sound like a retarded child; and look what happened. You one time played bocce ball with your aunt one time.
Dude, you don't understand, there are at least 30 words in it.
jesus literally looks like a tranny that you’d fine on the street of NY in the 70s
based, OP ripped off this pasta
I don't think that's even a word
You'd know all about that, Norton
Don't talk shit about my wife, I will fucking end you
the HRT must be wearing off, she's ghoulish
Manface.
Is that gigastacy?
>he asked me if I had any idea how long it had been since someone did that. I said "a year?" he said "try ten".
kek
If a gorgeous woman looks more of a man than you, you may as well join the 41% fuckface
wtf are you me
Hot step dad material
But what kind of car does she drive and will she apologise for it?
Well, being that she is built like a ten year old boy you can have her.
I think we may have more to worry about from that guy your married to. He looks like a rough customer. That Tito Ortiz jaw has night test written all over it.
>I LIKE TO FUCK CHICKS WITH DICKS AND IM NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT IT
bitch was always ugly as sin
Did it give you a boner?
I kinda liked the limitless tv show
its just a cheesy crime drama with the NZ pill as the backdrop
but ya i kinda like it too
Who wouldn't get a boner from that?
perhaps you should try and smell her feet
Damn she could play batman
I saw Seth once in a sex shop. I was in there buying some lingerie for my wife when he came in through the door, nonchalantly looking around like he was choosing what to have for breakfast. He tripped slightly on the rug you wipe your feet on, and said out loud, but not directed to anyone in particuar "Did someone put that there?" then carried on looking around, checking shelves, picking things up, turning them around like they were lost artifacts, then putting them back down without bothering to line the boxes up or have them facing the right way. Every now and again he'd say to himself "It's not for me." Then he picked up a luxury sex toy and took it to the counter, asked how much it was, and when told he made a brief shriek and took the item back to the shelf it had come from. He did this with half a dozen items over a period of about ten minutes, then made a fake telephone ringing noise with his mouth and left the shop. I saw him through the glass door, he stood for a moment, walked right, then a few seconds later walked back to the left as though he was lost.
rude
She does have a bitchy look about her now that you mention it.
Omg that was hard to watch Jesus fuck. Micheal hall doesn’t give a fuck
Bitchy looking strong-jawed barbarian-looking women is my fetish, especially if they're strong.
for some reason they seem to like me as well
based
Im not your wife you fat incel
>"Just because the marriage ended, doesn't mean the love ended."
Jesus christ couldn't watch anymore
OH NO NO NO NO NO NO
>Dexter's face after she pours her heart out
DAMN, DEXTER
She looks like her breath smells really really bad
have a (you)
Imagine being cucked by Julia Stiles. No wonder she mad.
I'm convinced Michael C. Hall is gay, and they got married at the insistence of the Network.
>holy fucking fuckity fuck fuck, Dexter, jesus fuck. What the fuck
This is all I can think of her.
no wonder why his role in Six Feet Under is so believable
GirlsDoPorn
Leah Harris
nomnomnomnomnom
she is my waifu after watching dexter adn theres nothing you can tell me that will stop me from wanting to coom in her and then hug her until we fall asleep
her tum tum is perfect
this, shit pasta OP