I lost my job because of the Coronavirus

the only ones with jobs are fast food workers lol

I guess, but the idea of having to job hunt again and start from scratch after getting used to a place and the people is soul crushing.
I kinda want to die.

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Foxy Grandpa

Nah. Construction work is moving along as normal except for nursing homes and such here in FL

It's revenge for Trump fucking up China with their quotas.

Oh no, he posted a pasta. How will I ever recover?

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I walked out of my job 2 months before corona virus and it's been pretty comfy since

Don't worry bro the government will give you free money

Apply for unemployment and you will get $600 every few weeks

if you filed taxes in 2018 or 2019 and you make under 75k you'll get the check or w/e and if you file for unemployment you'll get that too.

>laid off because covid
>no work until may 1st at the earliest
>200 dollars a week for unemployment
>600 additional dollars a week for unemployment from stimulus package so 800 a week
>check for 1200 dollars from stimulus as well
>my tax return is on the way
>rent freezes will probably happen soon
>have money in the bank

Dare I say... comfy?

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>be me
>Senior Engineer in IT for 9 years
>working remotely
There's a virus?

>tfw get to work from home
>Not busy at all but the company still makes tons of money anyways
>They bought be a nice desk to work from home at which I get to keep
>Also giving us a 2k bonus on our next paycheck and paying for our internet
>last two weeks of "work" have been just sitting around playing Darkest Dungeon and Binding Of Isaac

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>coronavirus hits united states
>suddenly can't get any TP
>favorite local dive bar closes
>all the podcasts i listen to only talk about coronavirus now
>everyone forced to work from home so can't stare at the Work-7 anymore
>on the last day in the office, boss, named Howard Jeong, born in Toledo, OH, tells me to "stay safe"
>give him the finger and shout "you and your fucking chink country ruined everythign!"
>immediately get fired and perp walked out of the building
>no more company phone, no more company laptop, no more paychecks
>one week without internet
>break into local library to fap to hentai
>log onto Yas Forums
>"I lost my job because of the Coronavirus. Kinos for this feel please."

>incoming call from: based department

Dude, I did almost nothing the last two weeks. I'd prefer to be in the office getting shit done, but if they're forcing me to sit here eating like shit and not exercising, I'm just going to play Bioshock. My company's also "essential" and business is booming. Our bonuses from 2019 get deposited next weekend. I might get furloughed at some point for a short period, but probably not. I feel legitimately bad for everyone who's getting fucked by this.

what if I didn't work at all in 2017 or 2018

Not very cool to make fun of another user's true suffering, man.

if you filed taxes for 2019 you'll get it.
washingtonpost.com/graphics/business/coronavirus-stimulus-check-calculator/

well my procrastination has once again FUCKED me

Toledo was a nice touch
10/10, a hearty guffaw

>work from home
>get asked to do more fucking work than when im at the office

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don't samefag, it's embarrassing.

I work at a pharmacy

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I only worked two months in 2018, so 1/6 of my income is under 70K and I'll get the full $1200. Feeling pretty good about that. I'll spend it on AMPs before they start chasing those poor girls out of town.

>tfw pharmacist
>tfw want to get laid off and have comfy neet life
>tfw have to go to work and deal with neurotics and coofers all day and will probably get corona

I am the sales manager for a lawn care franchise group. I and all of my employees are still working. A lot of shit is still considered essential

Work in IT for a company considered to be essential. I think I am alright, especially since we are already short-staffed as-is and I can do everything at home anyway.

>landscaping
>essential
fuck off and learn how to park less than 6 ft from the curb. goddamn I'm stuck inside and all I hear are leaf blowers and riding lawnmowers

They usually work in late morning to noon ya neet

yes otherwise known as naptime

What are you wiping with these days bros?

>all I hear are leaf blowers and riding lawnmowers

this
seems like everyone's become obsessed with their garden now they're stuck at home

and no one has the wherewithal or teenage sons to do it themselves fucking lazy fucks
on another note, imagine if people gave this much of a hoot about a real killer, obesity and heart disease.

Managed to get a 24 pack of Presto brand toilet paper off Amazon, so I am doing OK. I might grab another thing of TP whenever it gets back in stock. All the stores nearby are completely out and have been out for weeks.

Sure, but what do we do about the Chinese?

The only people who should give a fuck about obesity are obese people

yeah man FUCK everyone else's insurance premiums

The pharmacist I work with is going crazy over Coronavirus, she sprays lysol on the registers so much that it broke one of the pinpads and she cries whenever she reads the news

I'm buying a new car because car prices have fallen thanks to this virus

I thought it was 2018?

A couple nukes doesn’t sound too bad

I mean it shouldn’t be covered by insurance because it’s not a real issue. It’s entirely preventable if you’re not a retard.

Lol

lol

I only have a 4 roll pack of 2ply. Shit sucks.

hahahahaha

get a detachable shower head

Nice. I should do that. Im sick of driving a shitty beater 2007 impala.

hey I have an 05 Impala and I love it. solid car

nah I work for IKEA pulling boxes in one of the retail stores that was closed by order from the governor (non-essential) and we're all getting paid not to work right now

>Out of Shin Black cups
>Only place with them in stock is the asian market
>Don't want to get the coof but want more Shin Black noodles
>Amazon shipping times are FUCKED
You've gone too far this time Chinks.

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what all is in this?