Have you wondered how people wipe their asses in apocalyptic movies?

Where have you been? When they said there would be a lockdown, people started hoarding toilet paper above all.

Leaves obviously.

You wipe your ass with your hands and then wash them in a river, duh.

Three sea shells.

a rag, don't forget which is the poo rag

Is anyone else getting a bomer about this discussion?

Anyway, I'm sure theres toilet paper everywhere

You probably won't forget the smell.

>Apocalypse.
>Modern hygienic practices.
Also contrary to popular belief, humans don't normally eat 3 times a day, nor shit everyday, in an apocalyptic scenario you'd be maybe eating once a day and usually fasting a day or two, you would shit nice firm logs that require minimum cleaning about 3-4 times a week.
Also this

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Tell that to granpa

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Since the corona crisis I've been shitting 3-4 times a day. It's very unusual. I feel like my body is trying to purge the virus, I know i caught it, I had mild symptoms. This virus is like nothing we've experienced.

it's a respiratory virus, not a gastrointestinal one. you probably just changed your diet and your gut bacteria hasn't adapted yet

I didn't change my diet but I noticed an allergic reaction, itchy nose and swollen eyelids. I dont know what caused it. I suspect it's corona chan since I also had fever and a sore throat and awful body aches.

you can still get sick with something that isn't covid-19, it's not the only disease in the world now

Yeah but i don't believe in coincidence, and I've never got a cold like this.

if you want to feel special and tell yourself you got the disease then whatever, continue crapping your pants and calling it corona

/out/ here. You can cut holes in the cap of a water bottle and use it like a bidet

I'm not crapping my pants, I go to the toilet, and most people will get over it. The symptoms are already behind me, I'm just tired now.

There are reports of intestinal symptoms. There are people who died because they didn't fit the right symptoms until it was too late. This isn't the flu.

with all the toilet paper they stockpiled

>lso contrary to popular belief, humans don't normally eat 3 times a day, nor shit everyday,
what makes you think this? Humans would be small and weak if they were fasting every other day

Does it mean only the TP hoarders will survivr the apocalypse?

You'd be amazed how much food you can down in one sitting if the food was scarce, you can get fat eating only once a day.

This. I squat AND pull my asscheeks apart. Incredibly clean, I almost never have to even wipe.

All the time. The first thing that comes up in my mind if the story isn't set in modern world is how do they go about shitting and wiping.

>t.mutt
normal people take shit once a day or two

Toilet paper is pretty recent, it's still common in Asia or southern europeans countries to use water for cleaning your ass

post-apocalyptic postmens deliver them toilet paper

Same way they did millions of years ago

this
>having paper fragments near asscheeks
clean

>Everyone has clean nails, fingers and perfect teeth.
>Everyone is wearing shoes that show minimal signs of wear and tear.
>it's still common in Asia or southern europeans countries to use water for cleaning your ass
Have you ever tried using a bidet you filthy swine?, can't even imagine how a modern man can wipe shit all over his ass with a piece of paper and call it a day.

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No but you can enter abandoned houses and you'll find lots of it

That's what I'm saying, I've never poop that much except in the last weeks.

TP hoarders are the first to die.

Only raiders will have clean butts.

>Not power shitting by sticking your fingers up your ass and scraping/pulling the poo out instead of letting it plop out
If you have no control/power over your own body and let feeling or instinct rule over you, you might as well walk on your hands and knees like an animal as well.

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Have you wondered how 6 million Jews died yet we always hear about “survivors” in the news

Also, what incredible ovens the Germans must have built. Unfeasible burn rates

well that's also because the sewage system has to be built to handle TP. I don't think it does in Greece IIRC, any dirty tp just has to be thrown in the trash

quality tp is nothing like a regular piece of paper. Not saying bidets aren't better though

When did europeans start using TP and did they use a bidet before?

half poles are cryptojews

>Have you wondered how people wipe their asses in apocalyptic movies?
Ever read Prison Pit?

You just get a gimp to lick your asshole clean every time you take a shit.

If you poop properly as nature intended, you don't need to wipe

Have you never shit out in the woods before without toilet paper? The moss that grows on stones is the perfect toilet paper it's fucking soft as fuck and leaves no mess.

I just use my wife's hair

>I don't believe in coincidence
Perhaps you have schizophrenia as well.

Squatting position already opens your cheeks and there's no point doing it by hand. Are so fat that you have to spread them manually?

No. Leaves are good for this.

It's like you've never been camping before. Just make sure you don't grab a leaf of poison ivy in the dark, it will ruin your fucking week.

Leaves can break and fold weird. You'll get shit all over your fingers or wont get all the shit in your browneye. Moss is the thinking mans toilet paper.

They used a stick, if they were lucky they had a sponge or cloth wrapped around the end.
Or just use leaves.

Do you have the physical coordination of a quadriplegic infant?

No, I'm actually very limber and coordinated but it's bound to happen when you're shitting in the woods for months and have to rely on leaves, especially if you have the squirts. Mullen leaves are different.

When I sit on the can. Before I plop down, I spread both cheeks with my hands and sit. The weight holds the cheeks apart

Leaves are the worst because they're water repellent
It's like wiping with glossy magazine paper

You dirty yankees should get a Bidet and learn how to properly wash your ass.

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How the fuck does that work I thought they looked differently