Is there an actor alive manly enough to play Conan? Arnold's too old and Momoa was terrible

Thor literally can't speak more than a dozen words in English, and Eddie sounds like a stupid chav

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"Stupid chav" Like a barbarian then?

momoa was ok, I think the problem was he just looks to friendly clean shaven.

I get the idea but those two aren't aesthetically suited for conan. Body builders make more sense than strongmen for the character imo

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The real question is: is there a director good enough to create a perfect Conan movie like Conan (1982)?

not for Yas Forums. enjoying shit is reddit, we want to whinge

You’d need someone who is simultaneously a poet and a lover of pulp. Villeneuve is too soft and feminine, George Miller is too pulpy. Guy Ritchie is too pulpy. Nolan is too soft. Cuaron’s work is atmospheric enough, but lacks kineticism. Michael Bay is too pulpy and is also retarded. Spielberg shot his load years ago. Honestly, unless Miller or Villeneuve came out tomorrow and said they’re devoted to this project, I think it would have to be a foreign director

>Hither came Conan the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet.

>What do you believe Conan?
>I have known many gods. He who denies them is as blind as he who trusts them too deeply. I seek not beyond death. It may be the blackness averred by the Nemedian skeptics, or Crom's realm of ice and cloud, or the snowy plains and vaulted halls of the Nordheimer's Valhalla. I know not, nor do I care. Let me live deep while I live; let me know the rich juices of red meat and stinging wine on my palate, the hot embrace of white arms, the mad exultation of battle when the blue blades flame and crimson, and I am content. Let teachers and philosophers brood over questions of reality and illusion. I know this: if life is illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content.
Stupid chav, huh?

Gladiator was basically a rebranded Conan. But Ridley is ancient and not reliable anymore

Fixed that for you

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fucking great comics. are they online anywhere?

That's an easy casting.

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Wtf conan is smart

readcomiconline.to/Comic/Conan-Saga

Bring Thor in but change the script so he doesn’t speak much. Give it a spaghetti Western feel. A lone man of few words type hero on a journey.
Yeah that’s pretty fucking retarded coming from someone who struggles against every monster and can’t get over the smallest emotional slights

>What do I know of cultured ways, the gilt, the craft and the lie?
I, who was born in a naked land and bred in the open sky.
The subtle tongue, the sophist guile, they fail when the broadswords sing;
Rush in and die, dogs—I was a man before I was a king.

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>he thinks Hollywood juicing started with the MCU
>he thinks Arnold wasn't juicing in his teens

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What would modern conan movie look like?

They should still do King Conan with Arnold.

>a poet and a lover of pulp

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Arnold was unique specimen. You are asking to cast totally unknown person. Someone new and young who could match his level of manliness and charisma. That will probably never happen again. Cavill is not even close and both Rock and Mamoa look funny in comparison.

The rock looks the part but people see him too much as a funny guy now to properly be menacing like Conan

>What would modern conan movie look like
Like jewed shit. With heaps of CGI, terrible plot, terrible scripting. Like every franchised film these days.

Cringe

If Josh Brolin was taller and on roids he would be a great pick. He has the proper facial features.

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>Is there an actor alive manly enough to play Conan?
No.

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The Rock isnt stoic enough. Hes very in your face hahaa reddit

thats a tiny pecker

Peter Jackson, Robert Zemeckis, Terry Gilliam

>long tranny hair
>wears a skirt
>small penis because he's not black
Only permavirgin neckbeards like you think Conan is manly.

>Peter Jackson

No.

6.5/10
seen better but this IS nu/tv/ so

Mutt's law

why not, he's made solid films

Momoa was a great Conan, even if the film itself sucked.

Brock Lesnar

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He's pink..

thanks

>some fucking Samoan fuck playing a Cimmerian

Why not just put a full blown nigger

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Cavill is a fag he's not manly

>wrestler
>manly

Idris Elba has coronavirus, he's not available

Is this achievable natty? How many days can I get this body if I do pushups?

kek'd

You have to do pushups every day, like 100

But if I'm in push up position my belly is resting on the floor.

>Momoa was good
He seems like a chill dude irl, but holy fuck he's just a charisma vacuum on screen in everything I've seen him in.

Momoa was fine. The script and direction were terrible.

Only good answer in this thread.
>tfw no King Conan movie where he is dissapointed with his fat and weak sons , ,who grew up in a life of excess and luxuries, and in his time of need find a worthy warrior in his bastard son, fit to inherit his kingdom.

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Umm no, actors and the profession of acting isn't manly

I don't think George Miller is too puply at all, what are you talking about? Aside from Miller, my picks would be:
-Nicolas Refn (might be too gimmicky, but ampt up the violence and action in Valhalla Rising and I think it'd make for an interesting take on Conan)
-Mel Gibson (obviously, though I think he lacks a definitive stylistic direction for something like Conan)
-Gareth Evans (not quite sure if his hyper-rapid style of The Raid action would fit Conan, but I think he could make it work)
-Craig Zahler (very likely the most realistic choice, everything about Conan would nicely fit into his filmography)

Javier Bardem

Somebody Irish, the character is proto-Irish in Howards work. I like Arnold, but not as Conan. He'd be good if Conan was meant to be Germanic, but he's Proto-Irish/Gaelic.

This is the correct answer.
There is even already a story about it.

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