Ok Yas Forums, give me a rhythm!

About to be laid off, the ownership is trying to finagle some cash out of the feds before bankruptcy and closure.

I honestly can't imagine putting myself in such a horrific situation, maybe because I'm not an Amerimutt.

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>work deemed "essential"
>more and more people stop showing up because they got sick
>half the workers are working from home
It's going to be a ghost town by friday which just means more work for me...

I work at an electronics store, apparently because we sell white goods we're an essential service.

i went to the office today because i got bored of working from home.

Which city

my parents keep going to walmart because its closer I tell them every time to stop supporting that vile company
theres a whole foods like 10 miles away JUST GO THERE YOU IDIOTS

Dallas

>whole foods

pfffffftheheheh

your parents seem smarter than you 90s born queer.

we're going to have to unironically nationalize wal mart and macdonalds to be run by the national guard. God bless donald trump.

this but actually unironically

>he doesn’t know

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>capitalising for emphasis
gay

I know I was being actually unironic

I work for a consulting firm. We were doing poorly before, but with travel shut down it's pretty much over. I'm lucky, I'm going back to school for a PhD, but there's some guys who will never ever get another job like this again. Young guys fresh outta school with no experience and old guys almost at retirement. No one is going to hire these people.

epic troll

My job is apparently considered essential as part of this nations critical infrastructure according to the department of homeland security, so I don't get to stay home unless I start showing signs of illness. It's bullshit.

just coof

do you make the big macs for the truckers? Dude you're the only thing keeping us from civil and global war, unironically

I'm just here to do a job sir

amazon is better than walmart

Laid off but will be going back to work on the 17th.
Fine by me, I'll get getting unemployment and sleeping all day until then.

Just get a doctor to write you a mommy note. Fuck dying for this country that is only willing to offer the bare minimum in return.

>go online
>everyone flipping the fuck out

>go to irl grocery store
>boomers lazily pushing carts around without a mask or gloves comparing fruits

Either this will become the lmfao nothingburger of the century or the boomers and anyone who has an immune disorder or breathing issues is about to be holocausted as america descends into Brazilian favela-tier anarchy

LOL

I am but could face a shutdown I dunno, we provide food to the delis at Publix and not sure if that counts as essential or not

work? lol

>work as a nurse in the operating room from 11am-11pm 3 days a week
>spend like 50% of my typical day sitting down behind a computer on my phone, or sitting in the break room on my phone and watching TV
>now all elective surgeries are cancelled because of Coronavirus and we only have emergency cases
This Corona virus has been great, now I'm spending 80-100% of my day literally doing nothing but sitting on my phone. There were 0 surgeries today and I've literally been being paid 40.08 whiledollars an hour while I've done nothing but shitpost on 4channel, reread pun pun, play Pokemon crystal, and watch TV all day.

Thank you Coronavirus for making my easy job even easier.

I'm working from home, and this shit is almost peaking here so in like 3 weeks it'll be over. It's not looking so good for mutts though

So is it true that this virus will pretty much kill capitalism as we know it and that salaries will no longer exist?

the boomers have hoarded all the dairy at my supermarket for some reason. those shelves are completely empty. i don't know why the fuck you would hoard heavy cream.

All part of the plan.

yes. Donald Trump is going to unironically nuke china and nationalize wal mart and macdonalds and we all get UBI but the catch is coronachan is actually AIDS

what would aids-chan look like?

>have to work in a company that has close contact to ill and elderly people
>we had a team meeting how to handle the current crisis and how to keep the employees protected and motivated
>suggest a small temporary pay rise to compensate for the health risk (company also making a lot of money right now)
>everyone silent, everyone looking at me in utter disbelief and bewilderment
>''heh, j-just joking, Mr Shekelberg, just joking''

coronachan. You have just been underestimating her. This is going to keep going around forever and regardless of if you die outright it's a nasty disease to deal with and either stays with you forever/will keep getting stronger.

Black

corona-chan has already been good to me. she's letting me work from home doing nothing for probably months on end. she also got me a dentist's appointment because the scared boomers are all cancelling. i love you corona-chan!

I'm working 40 hours in one of the most busy grocery stores in my city.

So you dont have to leave your house for extended periods of time, user. It's 300 people showing up to buy 1 thing, not 1 person buying 300

Buddy I never worked a day in my life

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Retail outlets are closed

but what are they going to do with heavy cream now that they weren't before? it's just going to go bad.

All of my coworkers are talking about wanting a pay raise or not showing up to work. What kind of simps do you work with?

go back to your discord zoomer poof

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>forced to buy some other brand of TP
>now have two painful bumps on my anus from excessive wiping
>ass hair keeps tugging on them making the pain even worse
It hurts so much bros

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shave your ass

A little better than that, I work somewhere that makes parts for various equipment manufacturers and also does direct repairs for certain ag systems. We're not propping up the entire farming industry on our own obviously, but without shops like us all of it really would slowly grind to a halt and there goes the food supply. But none of us (as in our customers and competition) are slowing down because it's all run by Republicans who think this whole situation is a deliberate ploy by the Democrats to crash the economy simply to make Trump look bad in an election year. But they're still bathing in hand sanitizer and hoarding TP themselves, just to be safe. Such is life in rural America.

>lmfao nothingburger
>boomers
all these smug fuck youngfags are going to be crying their eyes out in 3 weeks.

Use a garden hose

>boomers
It's chinks doing it.

Too bad these jokers don't remember what happened to land barons the last time a plague disrupted the economy this badly.

I am, I work in a gun store and the owner cooked up some work around with his legal team about how we qualify as essential. The storefront is closed, but the warehouse and shipping is still going.

Have fun applying for unemployment fags

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I got one of those letters too. I'm not essential tho.

I'm at work right now. Having a smoke break despite starting an hour ago. So sick of this shit.

They're not, im going to work in 2 hours.

>simps
dumb fuck youngfag, you're all replaceable.

Simp is an actual worth with an appropriate usage.

like CHOO CHOO operator

It's also currently a retarded youngfag buzzword.

work started WFH protocols like a week before shit got real but never got around to procuring the materials so we're on extended emergency pay until further notice. full base salary, feels good man

youtube.com/watch?v=49I6JrUnSQg

i would walk out as soon as they made me do this

youtube.com/watch?v=JIoZHGupZA8

>talking about
Do it or accept that you'll be slaves to Israel forever

youtube.com/watch?v=FxeryH8b4EU

youtube.com/watch?v=X6nQ4-_rPj0

>work gas station night shift
>previously dead shift now absolutely desolate since no one can leave their house
>just shitpost on Yas Forums and /mbg/ all night
Pretty comfy tbqh

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I SAID A BOOM CHICKA BOOM

>work

I work building maintenance for an "essential" company. All of the office drones have gone to work from home. Its just me, the other maintenance and cafe staff, and 500 african migrants working production.

No letters here, everyone is just continuing working under the assumption that manufacturing is clearly essential. But also in our meeting a week ago the boss told everyone "well, we don't work for the government, so we don't have to comply with any order to shut down anyways" and I would absolutely love to watch him argue that with a sheriff bored enough to try enforcing it.