Look what you did, Yas Forums

Veganism. Not even once.

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She did it to herself with deliberately seeking to be anti-feminine.

Damn how did she hit the wall so fucking hard

why doesn't she just get a haircut with bangs like the gooks?

she got JUSTed so hard she moved to New England and became longshoreman

tell her to eat some fucking meat

my meat

looks like that bible os guy lol

Is that Jim Carrey in a grunge band?

yeah, if he had aids

I know it's common for people on the internet to say they wouldn't touch "ugly" celebs or whatever, but she is one celebrity I legitimately would turn down sex with. Her baldness is extreme and she just looks like a weird sickly lesbian now.

Wtf i had the biggest crush on her in hard candy.
She looks 40.

kek

ACT

At one point I had a wine cellar.

Well, to be fair it was a wine basement.

OK... a small, otherwise disused wine closet in a basement... but I digress...

Five times every two months I would go down to it and turn the bottles, having no more response from the cheaper ones than the cold glass against my skin. On the more expensive ones I remember watching the grape silt upended in the bottle like a viticultural snow globe. It was beautiful. I'd have done it even if I never planned to taste the wine.

Ellen Page pics are like that. I've seen them all before... I could probably sketch them freehand. That isn't the point. The point is giving them that bit of attention every few weeks... appreciating her while respecting the fact that she is ever on the other side of the glass.

I could no more enjoy looking at them offline from a folder than I could enjoy turning the bottles in a supermarket. It just isn't the same as lurking about in the damp darkness of the Yas Forums wine cellar.

I honestly don't expect you to understand.

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>environmental racism

These people are lost. There is saving for them.

This is dangerously based and winepilled.

The idea of eating human feces is disgusting and anyone else would have to put a gun to my head before I'd eat their shit. But for Ellen I would roleplay an entire scene where I am a customer at a posh restaurant and she is the waitress who brings me my meal by hopping her bare ass up onto my table and defecating onto my plate and I eat it with a knife and fork commenting on how tasty it is and if I couldn't hold it down and vomited I would do so into a wine glass and drink that down too

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This, she's not even that old.

Going for that Howard Stern look...

i know exactly what you mean. kino post

I was at 2006's Comic-Con when I suddenly had to go to the bathroom. I was wary, because I had the chills down my spine that told me I was being watched or followed, but I chalked it up to my aspie paranoia about being around so many people. As soon as I got in the men's room, the door opened again and slammed shut behind me. I turned to see who had followed me in.

It was Ellen Page.

My first reaction was going to be OMG CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH, but I realized she must've taken a wrong turn, so I told her the ladies room was across the hall. She didn't seem to hear me.

"What's your name?" she asked in her trademark low-brow dialect.

"Michael", I said.

"Michael. That's a pretty name. You're a very pretty boy."

I was getting nervous now, but I've never really talked to a girl before so I didn't know if this was normal for them or not.

"Um... thanks..."

"Do you know who I am?"

"You're Ellen Page. I loved you in Hard Candy and Trailer Park Boys, I'm sure you'll shine in this years eagerly anticipated X-Men 3: The Last Stand as Kitty Pride", I said dazed, embarrassed, amused and horrified simultaneously. "I have to go. It was nice meeting you."

I decided I could hold it in, and went to leave the bathroom. She put her toned arm out in front of me, blocking my path.

"Where do you think you're going, cutie?"

"I... please, let me leave."

"I need something from you first."

She actually looked decent here.

In what seemed like one motion, she reached back and locked the door, then her arm swung forward and savagely struck me in the face. I cried out in pain and tumbled backwards. She pounced on me, slamming me against the stall door and holding me up with her forearm across my throat. I am tubby, and she is a lot stronger than she looks.

"Now listen. I need this. It is going to hurt, I'm sorry. It's OK for you to cry, but if you scream or struggle, I'm going to have to break your neck. Understand?"

I nodded. Why was this happening to me? She grabbed me by my collar and pushed me back towards the sinks. She put her hand on the back of my head and roughly pushed me down so I was bent over the sink. I felt the warmth and weight of her body pressed against my rotund backside, followed by the horrific realization that something hard and bulging was pressing against the seat of my balloon-cushioned pants.

"Oh yes, that's nice. I'm going to wear out that jiggly little butt of yours, Michael."

I just stayed there, too terrified to move and wishing it was already over. Her slender hand slipped into my waistband and pulled my pants and underwear around my ankles, between the embarrassment of my skidmarks and being naked infront of anybody other than the mirror, the terror of what was happening and the haunting smirk on my face I saw in the reflection, contrasting the distraught grimace of mine that we both saw in the mirror, almost cinematic that each of us focused on one face, than the other, there was a moment of beauty in horror. She then playfully slapped my ass and giggled. I turned my head and glanced back. Her skirt was hiked up and her panties were down, exposing her hard cock. It was bigger than mine (which means it was about average sized), circumsized, and completely hairless.

"Are you a virgin?" she asked. I couldn't tell if it was an earnest or a mocking tone.

I don't know why I didn't lie, but I nodded.

"Not anymore, sweetie"

"Relax, baby."

"I can't" I wept softly.

She sighed in exasperation. She leaned down over me, and her forearm crossed my throat again. I grabbed it, trying to wrench her off, but I couldn't. My lungs burned for air and a rasping choke escaped my lips as her grip tightened. "Oh God, I'm going to die" was all I could keep thinking. My vision blurred and dimmed as my brain starved for oxygen and my arms started to go limp.

As quickly as she started strangling me, she released me. I gasped desperately, enjoying a moment's repreive before a stabbing pain struck me in the bowels. She had forced herself into me while I was recovering from near-asphyxiation. I was about to scream when I remembered her dire warning, so I kept it to a sobbing moan.

"Mmmm... you're so tight..."

My ass was on fire as I felt her pull back, then force her entire length into me. I tried to ignore it, to detach myself, but the agony was too great as she thrust again. Oddly enough, the fourth thrust was considerably easier. Something warm and wet touched me. I glanced back, through the haze of tears, and saw the blood leaking down the concaves of my thighs.

"Mmm... oh yes"

The sight only seemed to arouse her more. She crushed my body against the sink as she thrust hard, slow, and deep, her hands holding my hips.

"This is so good. I love these conventions."

I felt something twist as she changed position. Her left foot was up on the sink next to me, allowing her better access.

Thats movies budget was 2 mil and made 590k lmao

"I am really sorry, baby. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. These conventions, so many boys, and they're all so weak... so inexperienced... so innocent... If I had stayed out there for one more minute without taking care of this, somebody would have seen it!"

She leaned down and kissed the back of my neck. I felt her hands slip under my shirt and up to my chest.

"Mmm... I can feel your boy bosoms! That is so hot. You're just my adorable little pudding pie!"

It occurs to me now that she never cursed once during the whole encounter. Must be her Christian upbringing.

"Oh! What's this?"

She reached down and took my cock in her hand. I didn't even know I was hard.

"Looks like you're starting to have fun, too. Mmmf.... unnn... Is this your prostate?"

A lightning bolt surged right through me on that thrust, and as my hips slipped forward in response, my cock slipped partly through her cupped hand. She took a tighter grasp and began stroking me, moving her hand up and down in time with her penetrations. My body shook from the pain, the pressure, and I'm ashamed to admit, the pleasure.

"Ohhh... ohhh... mmmm... baby, I'm about to pop in your heinie"

She then made a high pitched, almost whistling noise, and I felt her Pagehood pulse as her warm, thick seed squirted inside of me. She grunted again and thrust once more, then fell down on me. She took her hand off of my softening cock, and by the empty, used feeling down there, I realized I must've lost my load on the bathroom floor. She breathed deep and heavy on the back of my neck, then kissed it, then stood up.

She collected a handful of toilet paper to wipe down her bloody cock, and then tossed the roll to me. I gingerly stood up and turned to face her as I began to clean myself. The shame.

"Thank you so much, Michael. I put so much stuff in you, I think you're going to have my butt baby." she said in her sarcastic monotone, soon to be trademark of her movie performances, I would realize later.

She giggled, then tipped forward and pressed her lips against mine- it was the first time I had ever kissed a girl. Then she hurriedly pulled up her panties, straightened out her skirt, and left.

Before she walked out the door she said "Be sure to watch me in Juno this winter :3 "

I think I will.

High-quality post. Hopefully, it gets the attention it deserves. Hopefully, the attached pic helps with that.

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>33 fucking years old
Jesus fucking christ. Can anyone tell me a single vegan that hasn't aged like utter shit? They all look like goddamn zombies.

That was like 25 years ago

Wow so this is the power of veganism.

what in the goddamn

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Time for her to star in a Jeanne Garafalo biopic

you know those nights when you have to get up early for work the next day, and you're so tired and you're painfully aware that you have, say, only 3 hours to get some sleep? and sometimes on those nights, you really have to take a shit. so the angel and devil appear on your shoulders and you ponder over whether or not you'll shit now or most likely after work the next day. sometimes you don't. sometimes you wake up at 6am, roll out of bed, put on some fresh clothes and just go straight to work without spending 15 minutes awake in your home. then you have to hold in your rancid farts all day long, your colon is growling, you're sweating profusely. but sometimes, you suck it up and take the shit at 3am instead of going to bed. then you wake up the next day and you don't even remember the dilemma you faced the night before, you just proceed with your day at its normal level of shittiness. you did something for yourself last night that you will never get credit for. it was an act of pure kindness. but imagine if one time you actually did remember, and you thanked yourself. remembering that favor is what pictures of ellen page on the internet are like. ellen page is that stinky shit that you got rid of last night so your future self wouldn't have to deal with it. seeing pictures of her is a stark reminder that she's out there, in the world somewhere, every day, and people have to deal with her. but you don't. you don't have to deal with her because of some right turn you take years ago that led you away from her. life is ok sometimes, bros

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fucking kek

Please stop, I'm dying here.

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i'm hard now, thanks faggot

10 years ago

OH NO NO NO
YOU GOT TOO COCKY BRO

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Remember she was in that game Beyond Two Souls, and the "accidentally" left in a nude model and she got mad and sued?
Yikes: i.imgur.com/3rqddum.jpg

Well that was the least of her problems. That was in 2013, before SFM blew up. You're now remembering that she was lolified in the game and well.... chan.sankakucomplex.com/post/show/19058060

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now get a jhigh res picture without make up, filters and naturally lighted

Anyone else?

OH NO NOO NOOO
HE GOT TOO COCKY LETOBROS

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shes getting that nasally high pitched old woman dyke drone

oh
oh no no
no no no no no!

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HE GOT TOO COCKY BROS!!

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Is she going for that Fast Times spicoli look?

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SHE CONNECTED THE DOTS

ok, granted. You found THE guy who still looks good while Vegan. Granted, he began as impossibly handsome. So he's already a genetic anomaly.
And oh yeah, he's a literal cult leader. So who really knows if he's telling the truth about his diet.

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Isn't Beyond out on PC now? Shouldn't SFM people have more tools to make more stuff now?

Female baldness, is there a worse curse ?

>Scientists Have Calculated What Ellen Page Will Look Like in Ten Years and It's Beautiful

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Tim Poole looking bitch.

not just that, vagina juices are poisonous for women, all lesbians turn into ghouls over time