Somehow Episode 9 is not even talked about anymore

Normies hated it once episode 8 dropped

Somehow... There aren't many action figures for this movie to shit stores up, causing people to forget it exists.

It really is astounding how awful EP nine was. I just cannot wrap my head around it.

>275 million budget movie with a “competent” director is worse SW content than a cartoon

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Somehow Plinkett's Reviews has returned

This movie is garbage.

This. It's honestly astounding how 200 million dollars and ton of so-called top Hollywood directors and producers made this dysfunctional abomination. It's the final part of a 9-film saga and yet it functions like a completely standalone fanfic-like movie with barely any connection to its own trilogy. Villains are introduced with lazy one-line exposition. Characters are abruptly shifted from past films to something else. New characters are introduced that also sideline older characters.

On top of this, you also have completely hollow nonsensical action scenes. If the fight between Kylo and Rey in the waters was supposed to mirror the Obi/Anakin fight in Ep3, then I cry. Those actors looked more confused doing that shit than I was watching it. Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if it turns out the actors had no idea what the fuck this movie was and just tried to recite their lines as neutral as possible. I know both lead actors gave way better performances in Ep 8 since that movie atleast had a narrative it was going with.

I honestly can't think of a single redeeming aspect of this film. Even Kylo Ren was wasted. It was a retroactive sabotage of the entire Star Wars saga. There is no coming back from this.

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I just watched it for the first time only yesterday
underwhelming is how I would describe it
No interesting new characters, lots of scenes that look like reshoots, terrible fan service,
Lando? who cares, Han and Ben having a chat was just terrible,
Rian left them a plate of absolute shit and no amount of polishing was going to make it palatable

It wasn't even bad in a memey way or controversial, there was literally nothing to talk about other than how much of a mess it was and felt more like parts of different movies than one coherent story. The only thing that was surprising was how this got released in the state it did.

I tried watching it with my mom and we stopped a quarter of the way in. just too many locales and schizophrenic pacing. another shit star wars movie from disney.

Any competent writer could've followed up on Rian's story just fine. In fact, he left ton of foreshadowing for a sequel that was completely ignored. JJ hated TLJ and it made RoS just worse because of it. It should've been Rian that directed Ep 9, not Jar Jar.

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It’s sad.

They could've completely cut atleast two of those exotic locales and nobody would've been worse because of it.

>Rey/Ren scenes in TLJ
Ton of tension, both in the sense of good/evil but also sexual/romantic. Very clever editing and acting to emphasise this.

>Rey/Ren scenes in RoS
HEY YOU'RE ACTUALLY NOT BAD GUY PLEASE BECOME GOOD GUY PLEEEEASE

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I hated both equally
It is astounding though that so many seemingly intelligent people can spend so much time making such amateurishly plotted garbage
Even in storyboard form this must have looked like a mess

I think anyone can see that TLJ atleast has a clear narrative with a start, beginning and end. RoS is literally just one random scene after another with some quick one-liner to justify the abrupt change. You can the TLJ narrative all you want but it atleast has one unlike RoS.

>You can the TLJ narrative
*hate

> It should've been Rian that directed Ep 9, not Jar Jar.
I want to say no but RoS was such a shit heap that maybe Rian could have done something. but Rian got them into this fucking mess in the first place.

star wars is for faggots and children
40 years of retards squealing about lightsabers and spaceships and pew pew guns and now it's dead, good riddance

I haven't seen ep 9. Is it worth a watch for being really bad, or is it just average and no fun?

>Disney NonCanonWars no young and handsome Jedi main character
DROPPED

>average and no fun
with he emphasis on No Fun
literally a Fun vacuum
It is interesting in a purely jaded coonsumer way just to see how many boxes they try to tick for SJW brownie points

The mess was on JJ by making that godawful glib facsismile of no originality and Mary Sue.

It's not even average. It's borderline incoherent with a narrative so thin you could cut yourself on it.

You are tasked with making a follow-up to the Last Jedi. What do you do?

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young Luke wakes up, it was all a dream

Take half the money for myself to fund gigantic cocaine/booze/sex parties.
The rest of the money goes to making a gigantic porno movie starring the cast.

It’s evident how unplanned this was and that it clearly went through numerous rewrites and exec meddling to ensure it wouldn’t be another TLJ. It’s three hours long and feels extremely rushed and jumpy.

It reminds me of the Justice League mess.

But you still saw it. They won.
I stoped after episode 2

I watched it for the first time yesterday and I'm still in awe of just how bad it was. Character motivations make no sense. The first order comes off as completely incompetent and a total non threat to the heroes despite them supposedly ruling the Galaxy. The resistance is now a powerful organization despite them literally just being a couple dozen people on one ship in TLJ. Palpatine just kind of appearing and having a fleet of super ships out of nowhere. No real connections to the past films in what should be the capstone film of the trilogy. Rey gets new powers because......the force? Leia has practically no lines directly relevant to the plot and the reason why is obvious. The film tries way too hard to be nostalgia bait for the OT. The whole thing comes off as bad fanfiction, like some sort of monkey paw for destroying the EU.

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Objective modern Star Wars movie rankings:

3 > Solo > 1 > 2 > Rogue One > 7 > 8 > 9

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>esoteric knowledge

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TLJ was based because Rian made Kylo Ren the MC instead of JJ's shitty waifu, Rey.

This. Kylo's story was set up, all JJ had to do was focus on that and its resolution. Resolve Kylo's story and you resolve the entire saga and ST story. Simple.

But JJ got jealous and was mad that a morally grey character like Ben Solo was outshining his boring, "pure" waifu Rey, so he shit on the plot of the entire 9-part saga, and especially the last two movies, just to pretend that Rey is Kylo Ren and center everything around her.

>calling him Ren

Sure is JJ and Terrio in here.

Worst thing about Reylo in TROS was that Rey was angry for no apparent reason for 90% of the movie and Ben had to do all the work in their relationship as usual. Him dying for her sends an awful fucking message as well. I enjoyed watching him beat her ass for once, though. Too bad JJ ruined it by having Rey stab him immediately afterwards. Why is she so horrible to someone she supposedly loves?

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The Kylo Ren parts are kino, aside from him dying. The rest of the movie is boring and completely forgettable. Even Palpatine just feels like some cringey stock-character.

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Follow through with what the story set up so far and focus mainly on Kylo Ren in EP IX. Give a proper end to the Skywalker saga and the ST story by having Ben live happily with Rey at the end, them both not being alone anymore and Ben balancing the Force somehow fulfilling his destiny. Leia lives and gets to see her son live happily and her grandchildren, healing the wound of Anakin being separated from his mother in the very beginning of the story. This really write itself, I think you have to be insane levels of brain-damaged or pretending to be retarded on purpose to fuck this up the way JJ did.

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I'd mostly expand on the anticapitalist theme Last Jedi introduced. Start off with a power struggle between Kylo and Admiral Bux in the First Order (Kylo trying to break with traditions and reform it, Hux trying continue the work of the Empire). It turns out that Hux is getting support from a shadowy cartel of weapons manufacturers and war profiteers, he stages a coup against Kylo, who has to flee and turns towards the Resistance for help.

The cartel as the main antagonistic force of the movie, Hux as secondary antagonist, some cheeky meta commentary on how the cartel trying to continue the war indefinitely to profit off of it is like Disney continuing Star Wars indefinitely to profit off of it, redemption arc for Kylo, no reveal about Rey actually being related to someone important... that's the angle I would have taken. Not that they'd ever go with something like that.

star wars died the instant in the first trailer that the nignog popped into view

Cause jj is jealous. Have you seen the way he looks at daisy

It is hilarious.
When TLJ came out on home media, this place was overrun with threads about how stupid the dueklwas and whatever Rose nonsense Rose sputed as she doomed the Rebellion down to 12 people.

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This. People rag on Rian for ruining Luke, but shitting on Luke was the only plot thread from TFA he actually continued.
When Han is giving his exposition dump on the Force to Rey and Finn and says how Kylo killed all the students in Luke's school he just drops "Luke just have up." Right there Abrams and Kasdan (who honestly doesn't get enough shit for the crap he did) assassinated his character. Sure, Rian could've course-corrected it, but he doubled down. Just shows that these people were on the same page from day 1 acting holier-than-thou towards anyone that dared to not love their shitty product unconditionally. And only when it became obvious that the public opinion is irrevocablly swayed in the negative direction did JJ's PR team go into damage control after RoS to make it seem like he was having creative differences. Like he's some kind of iconoclast auteur that fought a brave fight for creative freedom under the oppressive Mouse regime and unfortunately lost.

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youtube.com/watch?v=rNQNHTGzuVg

They shill each other a lot.
Weren't they suppose to do a movie together? Probably have delusions that they some kind of modern day Scorcese & DeNiro.

>but Rian got them into this fucking mess in the first place
Sure it had nothing to do with the god awful set from TFA or anything, right? The story and characters were wasted from the beginning, you idiot.

Fucking hell. Not once, not twice, but THREE times in a row Rey wasn't close enough to hit Ren when she swung for him. Also, lmao on that pointless spin.

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>Hux being competent and not a total joke doomed for humiliation
>Kylo not knowing exactly what Hux is up to

lmao I actually liked that TROS just killed him off instantly. Was an actual good "subversion".

>conexion
Kek. Wtf is that random snake even for? Just to show she has force heal?

It was more of a mercy kill at that point.

To show us that she's great with animals as well. Honestly I think every other character in history of SW would've just killed the snake. Han, Luke, Leia, Obi-Wan. allof them. But, not Saint Rey.

Also it's another moment in the movie that Rey resolves. The other characters just follow her around. At this point either they're doubling down on Mary-Sue shit or they're blissfully unaware how much Reyreyreyreyrey they shoved into the movie.

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mercy for the audience by saving them from having to sit through his obnoxiously and obviously telegraphed mustache-twirling cartoon-tier plan of trying to overthrow Kylo only to get dabbed on anyway. It would be a joke to focus on him or act like he is in any way a threat in the last movie of all times. It was actually pretty sound decision to just get him out of the way early. Not that I think JJ thought about any of this, but it's a sound idea in more capable hands.

>play 3 seconds in on repeat

kek I will never get over how they just let her make these stupid fucking faces and movements and no one pointed out how fucking dumb it looked

This. Should have ended with ROTJ (which was a mediocre shitshow in itself).

>Palpatine just kind of appearing and having a fleet of super ships out of nowhere.
Same for Lando

>JJ's PR team go into damage control after RoS to make it seem like he was having creative differences. Like he's some kind of iconoclast auteur that fought a brave fight for creative freedom under the oppressive Mouse regime and unfortunately lost.

Didn't he ask for full creative control and shut the SG out? Lmao he's a fucking fake ass lying bitch if he's trying to act like he isn't fully responsible for the dogshit decision in TROS. He wanted it that way and now he has to lie in his mess. Or run away like the bitch he is. He only did one actual interview afterwards and now he's hiding while Terrio talks or not at all.

THEY RAM NOW?

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I wanted to see Ben with the Ewoks on Endor. He was conceived there and they used to babysit him after all...

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And enlists as a regular stormtrooper, dies on a shithole planet.

THE END:

The BTS doc is like 3 hours long and the fight choreographerdoesn't show up once. There's a good chance it didn't even have one.
They shill the stunt coordinator a lot, but I'm guessing it's cause she's wahman so it's impressive that she does what me do on every movie.

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