Historical figures you wanna see kinos about

>Hannah Upp, a teacher originally from Salem, Oregon,[12] was given a diagnosis of dissociative fugue[13] after she had disappeared from her New York home in August 2008 and was rescued from the New York Harbor 20 days later. News coverage at the time focused on her refusal to speak to detectives right after she was found [12] and that she was seen checking her email at Apple Stores while she was missing.[14][15][16] This coverage has since led to criticism of the often "condemning and discrediting"[13] attitude toward dissociative conditions. On September 3, 2013, she went into another fugue, disappearing from her new job as a teacher's assistant[17] at Crossway Community Montessori in Kensington, Maryland. She was found unharmed September 5, 2013, in Wheaton, Maryland.[18] As of September 14, 2017, she is missing again; she was last seen near Sapphire Beach in her home in St. Thomas right before Hurricane Maria.[19] Her mother and a group of friends are currently searching for her in the Virgin Islands and surrounding areas.[20]

This would make a fascinating film and I bet someone will make it within the next 5 years or so

and one whole episode of Diogenes trolling Platon epic style.

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what an asshole

Wrong era

i dont remember his name first name, but it was a southern gunslinger who went by mcclung. his clothes were all black, he wore a cape, would goad people into duels, and recite poetry as they died as well as to entice women. he then joined the war for southern expansion and was injured rallying troops to take a fort. while recovering, he drank heavily, wrote a poem, and shot himself in the head. such a doofus

greek glory is epoch eternal
sic transit gloria mundi

Pyrrhus but he gets killed by a brick during the opening credits because he forgot his helmet and the movie is about romans conquering his shitty kingdom

We have been robbed of so much kino

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Magellan was the patrician's choice of sailors. Killing a bunch of savages is easy.

t. Alberto Barbosa

marlowe or jonson wrote it

>Magellan was the patrician's choice of sailors. Killing a bunch of savages is easy.

Magellan was killed by a bunch of savages halfway through the circumnavigation, user...

>Be Cortes
>Be wanted by the Governor of Cuba
>Escape by heading an expedition to Americas
>Randomly meet a shipwrecked Spaniard who was made a slave and can speak the local language
>Randomly meet Malinche, a women who can speak local languages and Nahuatl of the Aztecs. She really, really fucking hates Aztecs.
>Fight with Tlascalans, win but there are still thousands and thousands of hostile fuckers.
>Tlascalans have a debate, the king wants peace with Cortes but his son wants to keep fighting. Narrowly decide to team up with conquistadors.
>Mutiny.exe
>Cortes hangs ringleaders and burns all the boats so there is no way back.
>Meet with Mexica ambassadors, they retardedly tell Cortes they have tons of gold.
>Get invited to Tenochtitlan
>Governor of Cuba sends a Spanish force to arrest Cortes (he only had permission to conduct limited trade)
>Ambush new Spainiards, convince them to join after telling them about all the gold.
>While Cortes was away dealing with the new threat, mega retard Pedro de Alvarado massacres Aztec nobles and causes a city wide uprising.
>Conquistadors trapped in their compound, take Moctezuma hostage in genius plan.
>Aztecs kill the motherfucker for being a traitor.
>Try to sneak out, get spotted.
>Hundreds of conquistadors die in La Noche Triste, killed in combat or drowning, weighed down by gold. Cortes falls in the water but is pulled free.
>Get reinforcements from Cuba and more local allies, besiege Tenochtitlan.
>City fucked from smallpox, Moctezuma's successor dies as well, conquistadors win.
Anyone watching would cry total bullshit about the anime tier shenanigans.

>anime tier shenanigans
but that's the best part

Weekend at Muhammad's?

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They say the collective smell of everyone there shitting themselves still hasn't quite left to this day.

>Anyone watching would cry total bullshit about the anime tier shenanigans.
that's a problem for a lot of historical stories honestly. Real life is full of shit that'd look like the pinnacle of shit writing if it happened in fiction

>sword of Islam
>kills millions of muslims

fucking romans everytime
vae victis and all that

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>Mega retard Pedro de Alvarado
My sides

they were all heresiarchs and sons of whores

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a movie about Timur would be too based for hollywood

Any true Roman pagan would do. Film about how Chr**tians ruined an empire.

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It lasted for about 1100 years under Christian rule so I'd hardly call that ruined.

There's already one set in the civil war, but i want to see my main man slaughtering dirty paddys by the thousand.

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are there any films with decent budget made about classical philosophers?

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And no, not a movie where his early life is cast as the same fat old actor as his older self, damn it!

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THIS

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No and there never will be. It would be the ultimate pleb filter of a movie.

Go on

>tfw no horrifying night-time raids and passing-the-time-in-trench-dugouts kino

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1979_Ba'ath_Party_Purge
youtube.com/watch?v=qvp68ZjXLGw

>Hussein hurriedly convened an assembly of party leaders on July 22. During the assembly, which he ordered videotaped,[1] he claimed to have uncovered a fifth column within the party. Abdel-Hussein, broken after days of physical torture and under the threat of his family's execution, confessed to taking a leading role in a Syrian-backed plot against the Iraqi government and gave the names of 68 alleged co-conspirators. These were removed from the room one by one as their names were called and taken into custody. After the list was read, Hussein congratulated those still seated in the room for their past and future loyalty. Those arrested at the meeting were subsequently tried together and found guilty of treason. Twenty-two men, including five members of the Revolutionary Command Council,[2] were sentenced to execution. Those spared were given weapons and directed to execute their comrades.[3][4]

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Stop eating, Josif.

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>"President Hussein, why did you invade Kuwait?"
>"Because it's 1990"

>latin

They made one about Hypatia of Alexandria if that counts

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Stark and unfortunately common revisionism, as usual. You have the Christians to thank for even knowing as much as you do about the Romans and Greeks.

An Ernst movie would be amazing.
>wounded 14 times
>saved his severely wounded brother from no man's land
>saw almost all of his men blown up and killed by one shell impact
>shot a Brit in the face at point blank range
>survived through almost the entire war
>later refused to join the when offered NSDAP
>put in charge of executing court-martialed soldiers
>involved in the plot to kill Hitler but managed to get away with it
>tried a bunch of psychedelic drugs including LSD with its inventor
>lived to age 102
He must have been such an interesting man, shame he didn't do many interviews.

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It'd be more of a flick desu

I meant mainly about his experiences during WW1, kind of an action (really, what else would it be?) movie.
also you left out he romanced a french girl and almost got shot over it as a suspected spy, when some patrol (of the area he went to to see her) found him at her place

Somebody post the Assyrian copypasta. You know the one.

I also forgot to mention he was buddies with Picasso and Cocteau.
While a Storm of Steel adaption would be the most obvious choice I think his entire life is so interesting it would be a disservice to the man to only focus on on his WWI years. It would be hard to do, maybe a miniseries would be necessary. Not that it will ever happen just because of who he was and when and where he lived, but we can dream.

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I only mention WW1 due to only having read Storm of Steel very recently and being fascinated and inspired, I simply don't know enough about the rest of his life to be "for" or "against" it.
If they placed enough emphasis on german defeatism spreading at the end of the war, they just might be able to make a movie.. (Although he put it something like "Our morale was still great. We knew we were going to lose and maybe die, but we would remain firm and in place anyhow."

He was anything but a defeatist, depending on what edition and translation of Storm of Steel you get that is pretty clear. That's why it probably will never be adapted, its patriotism and nationalism given the context of the time it was written and what came in the decades following would either be lost on or seen as unsympathetic to modern audiences. If a filmmaker is going to place emphasis on German defeatism they might as well just do a good quality remake of All Quiet on the Western Front, which is both overdue and more likely to resonate well with today's audiences.

wasnt there also some shit about building a fleet of spanish galleons on the lake during the siege?

ywn get drunk with the lads and run around no mans land throwing around grenades and having a good chuckle

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It makes no sense to me that a biopic of this absolutely based commie-killing machine hasn't been made yet.

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Ivan the Terrible needs a movie
I think you can do one about how he used the Streltsy to maintain his grasp on power and then with little provocation one day decided they all needed to be purged

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Governor William Berkeley vs the reckless antics of Nathaniel Bacon

>We should have destroyed carthage, every man, woman and child, many years ago
>My spies in iberia, tell me his fleet has sailed, we must expect an invasion at Massalia
>Our mercenaries in the north report that he forged an alliance with the tribes of the Po valley, he attempts to circumnavigate massalia and march his army..
>Over the alps perhaps ?, he would lose half his army from attrition alone, the other half will desert
>Do you expect the gods to welcom him when he arrives ? I suppose that he will bring with him an army of elephants
>I dare say that this would be quite a feat, even for great Hannibal barca

Can the punic wars be adapted as a kino ?

youtu.be/i5v6hPr6L7U

>Hannibal -
javier bardem
>Scipio -
orlando bloom
>Fabius -
antonio banderas
>Marcus Marcellus -
joe manganiello
>Hasdrubal Barca -
?
>Hamilcar -
russel crowe
>Philip V of Macedon -
?

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Rome ended in 630
after 630 its the byzantines

No, it is the Eastern Roman Empire. Calling them anything else is Germanic slander.