How did they know what a menu was?

Because it's based off the middle ages and menus existed then

Jackson is a fucking hack

How did they speak English?

hurr durr brainlet

Uruk Hai had never been to Mordor at this point in the movies

Why didn’t they use the griffin to fly to Mordor.

they've been ransacking towns along the Rohan countryside
there are Morgul Rats with them that know things
they've been to Isengard

>Why didn't Bilbo just ship the ring to Mt. Dooku with overnight parcel?
Mt Doom doesnt have a P.O.box
>If Soloman is so good with metal and technology then why didn't he just build a metal detector to find the ring?
he hadn't invented electricity yet.
>Why didn't Saladin spray the ants with weed killer so they wouldn't turn his tower into a water park?
He has uses it all to clear the forest earlier.

Griffin's were never mentioned in the books

cringe

Were not talking about the books.

because he was engineered to know what one ones.

the menu thing was pure Hackson, Tolkien would write such a trashy quip.

wouldn't*

by raping and pillaging every village they came across on their travels.

Tolkien wouldn't have let a movie be made at all probably. Hackson did better than we had any reason to hope from a Hollywood production.

Shit good question.

desu I would've loved living in Isengard with a bunch of Uruk-hai. Assuming they wouldn't just murder me, so I guess I wouldn't actually... I'll dream tho.

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Aren't they like corrupted elfs?

how did they know what acting was?

Uruks and the dunlanders helped each other in the books. Doesn't go into details but they played nice with dark men.

I think the Uruks were total chads. I wish there was some content of any kind about any surviving Uruk-hai just chilling out in the world afterwords when the ring is destroyed, doing things like mercenary work, banditry, or whatever dumb strong arm stuff they could. I know that Mordor rode with Haradrim and Rhun too, so maybe there would be hope for us to be pals.

So they were born ... created as adults who could already talk and fight? This "birthed by evil magic" shit never felt right to me and I still think Fellowship was the best movie.

They are actually a very advanced race. Don't let Right Wing Gondorian propaganda fool you

I thought they were raised again dudes that had been buried for eons.

dude, what?

They were dead and buried. Sauraman raised them from the dead I thought? They were already in the ground. Is the real story that he just made them up from the mud and dirt?

That's how the lotrs mod for crusader kings 2 is. Orcs dont just all die. Without a dark lord it's the strongest leads and they hang out up in the mountains raiding or occasionally killing elves.

Tokein was such a prude he couldn't just say they bred them like cattle or that they'd cross breed with humans to make Uruks.

But like where did Sauraman get his army in the book? Was it the same way in the movie? He just dug them up? Were they sent to him?

If I recall in the book tolkien was as vague as possible just saying Sarumon bred them in his pits. Like I said the prude wasn't writing rule 34

Various character comment on the strangeness of the Uruk-hai; how they can endure in the sun, their disciplined nature, and their physical superiority to other orcs. They also refer to them as "goblin-men" or "like a cross between orcs and men." At the Prancing Pony the hobbits notice a man snooping on them that looks downright orcish.
It adds up to a straight biological hybridization of humans and orcs. Tolkien's orcs are living creatures like any of the other races of Middle Earth.

pretty sure this refers to goblins raping women when pillaging and training their half blood offspring to be elite warriors. saruman was corrupt for decades before Fellowship.

But this is only my opinion, I dont remember Tolkien spelling it out.

Adding mystery isn’t prudish.
Allegedly some could be twisted forms of elves who died long ago. Or perhaps even Orcs bred with other Orcs (since we know orc women exist) to create a stronger orc.
Supposedly there were half Orcs. But it isn’t entirely confirmed they were genetically 50/50 orc/human, could have been Orcs bred to be more humanlike.

I always assumed it was some sort of dark magic or whatever that made them, the world is extremely depopulated by the time of the books, even if they had access to women they still couldnt make such massive armies so fast. Also orcs are supposedly corrupted elves and Tolkien was very specific and adamant about elves not being able to be raped (for some reason). Plus there are extremely few of them left

I don't think it was 'mystery'. In some of the older drafts of Sims he has melkor banging orc chicks and making half breeds and all that is removed in the final draft. And then the whole thing with Elrond's wife. Ya it was torture totally.

Sounds mysterious to me. It’s kept vague despite sexual references existing in other parts of the books.

>you will never have a big titty orc gf to make Uruks with

No 2 sentences in this post aren't retarded

>elves not being able to be raped
That's because they're whores and literally always consent

>orcs are supposedly corrupted elves
major assumptions there

they raped women (rohan subjects), not elves.

The origin of the orcs in the SIlmarillion was Morgoth capturing a bunch of recently awakened elves and then torturing and corrupting them into orcs. It was also the reason the elves were initially afraid of Oromë when he came to pick them up, they mistook him for Morgoth

how did they know how to speak english right out of the sack?

Still not enough to produce the armies, unless Saruman got a hold of Dunlending women.
Also you faggots need to stop reading drawn asian porn, it obviously rots your brain

>citation needed

They knew because they were once elven chefs and restaurant goers

Sounds based.

Because Hackson is shit

of course there was not enough. Tolkien was a hack who didn't take into accounts things like logistics and tax policies

>t.

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On that note I find it hilarious that was GRRMs bitch and yet theres almost none of that in the books. Actually the north's army organizes at an insane rate given how fucking big it is.

are the orcs all just elves resurrected? the ones that died during the wars?

Dead elves go to the halls of Mandos, where they dwell for a time or they are judged, and then at least some of them are ressurected but can never leave Valinor. Besides maybe based Glorfindel

no. If an elf is wasted they go to halls of Manos to wait out the end of time or some shit.

GRRM is a literal hack

Weren't they elves before being turned into uruk hai? Perhaps they knew what menus were due to having memories from their elf lives?

That’s the point of a mythical story, the people telling wouldn’t have gotten it either. It’s a way of expressing x in terms that the audience will understand.

>mfw remembering saruman making fun of gandalf for smoking weed but then turns out he has shit tons of longbottom leaf
was Saruman a chad?

no orcs were elves tortured and ruined into orcs. uruk hai or at least sarumans uruk hai are a cross between men and orcs. mordor also had uruk hai but saruman perfected the formula