Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

euro's can't tell a story unless it involves a cafe and takes place in 1875

>awful leads
>boring story

amerifats can't tell a story unless it involves the duke boys jumping the river in the General Lee to get away from Boss Hogg's crooked cops.

americans can tell any story because americans just buy other peoples works and retool them with explosions and american flags

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Male lead had ZERO gravitas, dude should've been nowhere near a leading action role. It was also way too scatterbrained, even for a Besson film.

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That was honestly what pissed me off the most. It's a fun movie but the casting on those two didn't feel right and I hadn't even read the fucking comic before seeing the movie.

American liberals don't watch anything interesting and American conservatives don't appreciate anything interesting.

holy cringe

she is ugly as fuck full stop

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I like to think it was people showing rejection of Cara Delevingne but can't be sure.

Dane Dehaan and Kris Wu are relentlessly handsome.

Because Cara has the acting ability of a plank of wood lol.

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I honestly think someone thought Star Wars was big and thought they could make money with a big-screen adaptation of one of the things George Lucas stole his ideas from.
Big-screen adaptation of the Dambusters with Nigger the dog when?

I kept thinking they were siblings cause they look so much alike. Weird casting choices.

It sucked. Also horrid cast. Makes you wonder if you have here was some Godfather horsehead type coercion to get certain people cast. Bimbopop singer Rihanna in there too? Fuck outta here, this is a product not a film.

You call that acting?

Not Enough nude scenes

oh hey I just saw this the other day for the first time, I thought it was kinda meh
first half was really promising and then it went to shit
I still think the people making the visuals and settings and such never met the people who wrote the script and the characters, I think they probably didn't even know they were working on the same movie
because the visuals and the world were so colorful and quirky, it made the characters somehow seem even more boring
I've rarely seen a more mis-cast couple, and their behavior was just so inconsistent
you could easily cut 40 minutes out of the movie without missing anything important, the Rihanna arc was the most pointless thing ever, you had 5-10 minutes to give a shit about her aaaand then her purpose was fulfilled so her char was killed
and oh man so much hammy free exposition
so much wasted potential there it was quite impressive
and I'm willing to bet the director told everyone on set he wants them to always walk as if they are at a fashion show

is that idubbz?

they both look retarded

why did he do it bros

Hideous leads and boring trailers killed it for sure. Most people just forgot about this movie the moment it's trailer ended.

Ummm bros?

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it starts off good then kind of fizzles out.

Just finished watching it.
I liked it. I skipped it when it came out because it looked lame especially with those actors. Honestly they could have replaced the girl with maybe the Game of Thrones chick and it would have been better, but it sufficed.

it was shit and cara delfuego is ugly

Simply too kino for mainstream audiences

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So this is the power of makeup...

>Not Enough nude scenes
im disappointed in french film now because of that blatant omission.

Because Valerian is a Chevalier Chad, not some Jaden Smith stare twink rentboy. Totally fucked up the casting.

her teeth look pretty yellow or is it the lighting?

The fucking dude doing the deep Chad voice was one of the corniest things I've seen on the big screen.
Really the best part of the movie is the first 3 minutes.

yeah, the 2 mains were ridiculously miscast, I hadn't read the comic either, but just by the dialogue and script I could tell that the main guy was meant to be a Buck Rogers type of character, classically masculine adventure guy (like out of old serials), and the girl was meant to be a beautiful feminine accomplice who sometimes fills a damsel in distress role

then they cast 2 gremlins as the stars for whatever fucking reason

They should've cast Timothée Chalamet, Ezra Miller or Finn Wolfhard as the lead

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>They should have cast one of these other twinks
No, they shouldn't have cast a twink at all.

FPBP

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this

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indigenous Europeans are trash, they need to be reconquered by the diaspora

he barely passes.

>then they cast 2 gremlins as the stars for whatever fucking reason
Look up who cara's dad and grandpa are.

Because it was really bad. The actors sucked, the editing was piss-poor(a shame because the director doesn't suck), and the only good part of it was the set-pieces. It was also way too long for the generic story it tried to make.

No. Twinks are not allowed. They should have cast a 200% bull-neck, square-jawed CHAD.

what about idris elba?

I think he would have been a little old but sure that would have been cool. He's a hyperChad comparatively.

Who gives a fuck. Cara can't act, I don't care how much dick she sucks.

cara

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Not realizing how much Star War was "inspired" by Valerian but never given any credit. They didn't copy it out right, but just took some of the best parts and used them in their work in a different story structure.

Valerian had lots amazing scenes that clearly influenced many other works. I think this was because Valerian was so out there. Very much art with lots of originality and rich detail. But suffered with a poor rambling story structure and was not known outside of France much.

So many things saw how cool these parts were and put them into other things.

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Didn't cast bruce willis as the main character.

This tbqhwy, I liked the movie but Dane Dehaan is a laughable choice for The Chad protagonist, he isn’t even a hot twink, he looks like gollum, he’s not a very good actor either so that makes it even worse. I thought she was ok but basically every other actor did an ok or good job so the leads being just ok and terrible really impacted it.
The opening scene was the height of kino however

i meant instead of cara but ok.