Now that I’m old, things scare me, you know? I think it’s the media that does it. Like, they go, “North Korea,” you know? And, I don’t know, it kind of scares… It doesn’t scare me that much, but… it’s supposed to scare you. But, like, are you really scared? Have you ever woken up, gone, “Ah!” and your wife says, “What?!” “North Korea!” That little, tiny country, way the fuck over somewhere. “I’m scared, honey. I’m scared.” I’ll tell you, Iraq doesn’t scare me, North Korea – none of those countries scare me. There’s only one country, really, that scares me in the whole country. Or in the whole… What do you call that’s bigger than a country but less than a galaxy? Earth. The entire earth, there’s only one country that frightens me – that’s the country of China. I don’t know if you guys are students of history or not, but… For those of you who aren’t, China, in the previous century – in the late part… they decided to eat bats and get SARS. And who did they choose to share SARS with? The world. So you think that would last about five seconds and the world would fucking win, and that would be that. But it was actually close. And then… I don’t know how that worked, but… Then 30 years pass, and China decides to eats bats and get a virus again. And, once again, they choose as their foe… the world! And now… this time, they really almost win. So at this point you would think the world would go, “China, you’re fucking not a country any more, all right?” “What the fuck?” “You’re not a country because you keep eating bats and giving viruses to the world,” and… no one does… “What do you think you are, Mars?” “Do you think you’re Mars or something?”
Now that I’m old, things scare me, you know? I think it’s the media that does it. Like, they go, “North Korea...
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not bad Norm
>I said "Doc, she's choking!"
all the sars are here
Who did it better, OP by cutting and pasting random shit Norm has said together into a semi-coherent bat rant?
Or Norm on stage for 8½ minutes doing new material on the coronavirus?
youtube.com
youtube.com
nah germany is way funnier
>I tell ya I get no respect. I hear my mailman got coronavirus, all of a sudden my wife tells me we gotta self isolate!
the tom hanks disease
sperm mccuckold lol
keep writing comedians joking about corona
>YOU AND ME JIVE TURKEY !!
kek
Smooth.
Lately a lot of people have been asking if I'm scared of catching Corona. I tell em no I just prefer to have them placed on a coaster in front of me. Or if I'm feeling frisky then perhaps slid down across the bar to me. Under no circumstance do I wish to pay to have drinks thrown at me, I used to GET paid for that. Alright.
this was painful to read
painfully hilarious
Nah just painful. Next time try originality instead of copypasted ad-lib.
>missing the point this much
Nah you just failed with the thread, next write your own joke in the comedians style, as others ITT have done. Stitching together existing jokes and ad-libbing key words to china batsoup corona lol xd isn't funny.
911
Spot on, I'm dying
no
No you cant write a joke? We know.
"no"
"we know"
Stop saying that it reminds me of the tragedy
ok good, glad you agree
Oh you mean 9/11?
I walked through blood and bones in the streets of Manhattan looking for my brother...
he was in Northern Canada
"When I was a boy, there was a great plague that ravaged our village, killing hundreds of my loved ones. I was lucky to survive. Now, with this new plague, I am once again ready to combat the disease. I will live, but many will perish."
"...alriiiight, next on the list is Danny, who will be playing us a cover of Wonderwall"
Of course I agree with my own comments you braindead chump. But keep trying to weasel your way out of embarrassment with shitposting and buzzwords.
i had sex with ur mum
...
Oooooh #Gotem
REKT
based
cringe
His last comedy tour was lit. He played the actual bear tape for the audience but he had edited in looney toons sound effects alongside the screaming.
Samefag
cringey same fag is cringey
no
kek
"yes"
"no"
The joker was funnier with Germany.
Underrated
...
This but actually yes and everyone knows it lol #rekt #cantberefutednomatterwhat #alsourmumlol
ok good, glad you agree
nice
lol OP unfortunately
>when the obsolete autismbot breaks and starts looping old responses
Yeah we're done here.
HEY CHINA God called and said he wants all seven of his plagues back! I walked the great Wall of China until my feet hurt. Id say my dogs were barking but then some Chinaman will knock on my door with some horseradish!
i had sex with ur mum
I wish the thread had more of this and less butthurt autism.
Based
Peak yikes
it's not random you retard
I'm not worried about corana virus, I was married
oooooohhh OOOOOOHHHH
> So I haven't had sex in awhile...My last boyfriend asked me if I had Corona Virus...not because I was coughing but when I opened my legs bats came flying out of my vagina
5/5 bretty good, who'd she steal the joke from though?
I never found Norm funny, and neither did any of my numerous comedian friends