THE KOBAYASHI MARU

Win.

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Beam a nuke or blow up my ship.

You must be genuinely autistic then. People get nervous as fuck in tests that are only written. It doesn't matter that it's not "real" they're not afraid of dying from the test. They're afraid of failing and ruining their career. If you're a NEET I can see how you wouldn't be able to understand this.

The Kobayashi Maru test was legitimately a philosophically interesting part of Wrath of Khan, but the way it's been treated in everything else is a perfect snapshot of how far Star Trek has gone up its own ass.

Basically it's been treated as a cheap tool for writers to turn their pet characters into special snowflakes by beating the unbeatable.

so the sulu / scotty solution then

>this test is sexist is the answer

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Contact the Klingons and inform them of the situation and ask they assist with the rescue

Are you autistic? It’s a test that partly determines your success in Starfleet? Did you never take exams cos you were you home schooled, so you can’t empathise with a test causing stress?

>THEY AREN'T RESPONDING TO OUR HAILING FREQUENCIES
>THEY HAVE ARMED PHOTON TORPEDOS
>ARRGH

>Spock ignores it

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Spock decision seems to make the most sense, I mean:

>Fed ship happens to break down on the Klingers side of the neutral zone
>either its a trap
>or
>some black ops bullshit
Either way the crew dies, either by Klingon fire or being Epstein'd.

>I think Spock simply doesn't answer the distress call in the first place
IIIRC, isn't the distress call from a ship that violated the neutral zone? In that case the "greater good" course of action is to let them reap what they have sewn, and not risk war with the Klingons over one ship
So yes, extremely based

Rig a shuttle as a tug drone

that's in fact exactly his point in the book, and the instructors get mildly aggravated because he says it's illogical to intervene in the situation and warps tf out of there

>fucking kliniggers!

>Spock ignores it

le mao

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*gets a commendation for original thinking*

psst, nothing personal starfleet

A true Patricians strategem

Claim the ship has the Rigellian fever and you are there to tow it back
Circle a nearby star to turn back time to save it before it crosses the border
Send two shuttle pods in two different directions to break up their attack team
Promise the Klingons a Chappel/Uhura lesbian sex tape
At full impulse, fly by and beam as many as you can out
Set the Maru to self destruct so the Klingons move away, last minute cancel and beam out.

same thing i never understand about any startek battle, they have no form of interdiction
just warp the fuck outta there

You can get chased and attacked in warp, it's not teleportating away like star wars hyperspace

Kob Maru is a fucking star trek thing? I unironically thought it was a sumo wrestler...

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>Chekov evacuates his ship and then crashes it into the three Klingon cruisers, destroying all four ships in the process and (inadvertently) all of the evacuees as well.

what the fuck did he mean by this

U thinking of Kendo Nagasaki

In the original this (or something similiar) is tried but Uhuru reports that they are jamming all freqs

I would just turn around and warp away.

Turn around.

TURN AROUND

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How is wrath of khan SO good

There is no such thing as a no-win situation. The best possible result is defined as winning, regardless of how bad that outcome is.

They didn't break down on that side. They hit a mine and drifted across the border. The implication being that the aggressive Klingons mined just across the border to cause such a situtation.

That's not the stupidest thing I've ever read but a moment's perfunctory thought confirms it as quite retarded

this
you can run away only if your engine is faster than the other guys

>Spock simply doesn't answer the distress call
This is why he never got the big chair
Sure he became a captain, but it was for training cadets

Discovery could've walked this test. Just flipped behind every ship and open fired.

Put all my points in charm and convince the romulans/klingons that i'm one of them.
Then invade starfleet space with my new bro's.

Then it's their own fault for flying so close to the border.

That at least is a fair point, but we don't know for sure why they were that close. What if they had been chartered by SF to pick-up or deliver an ambassador or other official to one of the border worlds?

>Not realizing the whole premise is clearly a false flag operation by the federation to try and start a war with the Klingons

The test is to see how you operate under stress. Since success in the field is comparable to successfully passing the test. Will the cadet fold? Will the cadet panic? Will the cadet lose command cohesion?

Again, possible. But since in the context this is someone attempting to demonstrate competency in the aims of joining SF, we have to assume that they in the least don't want to appear to be aware of that. Not really likely to be let in the kool jidz klub if you just call them on their bullshit to their face.

wrong
rewatch WoK

If it really is a no win, then come as close to winning as possible

I think that's the real test: What is a "win" for you when you can't really win. Blaze of glory? Mitigating consequences? Abject denial of reality?

When Spock dies in the Wrath of Khan, he claims to have never taken the test.

youtube.com/watch?v=eVIt0DYKssI

by not answering the distress call, technically he didn't
its like pressing exit game on the start menu

destroy kobayashi maru and all wreckage

unironically based and section 31 pilled

>ignores the call
Based and logicpilled.

PREPARE FOR RAMMING SPEED

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>Dismiss everyone from the bridge, except Saavik.
>Plow her over the navigation console.

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The most correct option is to not help, however what i would do is demand a face-to-face combat with one of the klingon women and if i win we fuck

I've never read a star trek book, but I might have to read this one

Explain to me then. I haven't watched much of the Trek movies.

they expect some of them in the wreckage brother

> Create localized warp field in front of the ship
> bends space into a donut
> enemy fires, torpedo goes in a straight line
> right back at them

Or possibly just another potential outcome of the test in a "the only winning move is not to play" kinda scenario?

Or a if it were a video game, it would be akin to
"Option 1 : Save the Ship
Option 2 : Fire photon torpedos
Option 3 : Do nothing"

Where the last option is a legit option. Either way I figure the book is probably a retcon or an unintentional continuity error.

I'd just start crying until they feel bad and end the simulation

Its about what the cadet will do when they realize they can't win, when they reckon that all hope is lost. Its an existential test, not one of capabilities. Its kinda similiar to that episode of TNG where Troi tries to pass the Command test and has to send holo-Geordi to his death.
>How we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life
youtu.be/m6tWmSckE40?t=241

I would lose. The scenario only works if you don't know it's a no-win scenario. The moment I know it's a no-win, I no longer care about my actions.
>fire a full spread of photon torpedoes at the distress signal, beam my transporter engineer into space, and execute a captain's order that all women go nude on The Enterprise.

ah.... the WOPR maneuver. The data tapes has a record from the distant earth past where this was successfully used

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I see you're using the method tested and approved in Germany.

> know it's a simulation
> come up with some brave bold move
> your superior... hey, I like the cut of your jib
> gives you command of a startship
> fast forward...
> wind up in a similar real life situation
> you trade the women and children to the klingons in exchange for them letting you go.
> you get transferred to DS9 because star fleet likes to sweep their problems under the rug

>evacuates his ship
They mean he jumped out of his truck to check the mail
>craches it into the Kingon ships
By "Klingon ships" they mean the mailbox.
>destroying all of the evacuess
Well...

Oof, I can't believe you posted something edgy, and on Yas Forums of all places in the world!