Computer

Computer, simulate a universe in which the reality of me and my starfleet colleagues is a work of fiction. Place us on earth, circa 2020.

Computer, now pipe this universe through the filter Barcley_worstTimeLine2364

disregard safety protocols.

>muh Roddenberry’s hippy shit
Picard has bigger problems than not appealing to snowflakes that couldn’t handle post-S2 TNG and DS9.

use template Sisko3274 for the protagonist

>the borg are now the replicators

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Oh nice computer you got here! Can I have it?

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>it's a Klingon politics episode
>it's a Lwaxana Troi episode
>it's an Alexander episode
>it's a non-Q godlike being who toys with the Enterprise episode
>it's a romance episode
>it's a human looking aliens with some wrinkles on their forehead's politics episode for the 50th time

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fuck VR headsets, where's our holodecks?

>it's a Klingon politics episode
fuck you if you dont like this
discovery is that way ->

does anyone else like to imagine themselves in a holodeck when trying to fall asleep? somehow it makes it easier to fantasize about things for me.

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Don't even try with me, I'm only a moderate fan of star trek and I never cared for the hippy shit either. But I think you should at least be somewhat faithful to an artists vision, not take a giant shit all the fuck over it.
DS9 was it's own thing so I don't really care, even if I did care about the star trek lore, which I don't.
I kind of agree that it has bigger problems than not being faithful to that vision, like I said I don't care for that vision, I prefer darker more realistic stuff in my space kinos.
But Picard isn't really that. Like it's retard tier interpretation of depression and "darkness". Everyone is SOOOOOOOOOOO fucking miserable. Everyone is so depressing, everyone is such an asshole, a drug addicted murderer, whiny, constantly on about suicide. like what the fuck is this.
It's not about being faithful to Roddenberry vision, although I think they should be, especially with Picard which is from shows he actually worked on. That's his character. It's just that it's so fucking dark and miserable and depressing (pointlessly so) that it's actually boring and annoying.
The Road is a good movie. It has a point. There's a reason it's dark and depressing.
Here it doesn't work. At all. It's pointless. Annoying. Boring. Tedious. Poorly done. Miserable.

>Computer, enact impression of American advertising

>It's a Keiko episode

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Fuck you nigger, talking about proxy human politics through wrinkle aliens is the heart and soul of it.

you'd think with how often the holodeck fucks up and almost kills people they'd stop using it. i guess that holopussy is just too good.

>scarab swarms
we necrons now

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I wanted to kill Worf in this episode

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Is there an episode where Picard spends the whole episode in his 1940s detective fantasy?

I mean, I think many people today would take the ability to enact their wildest fantasies with the slight chance of death because you forgot to enable to safeties.

What would each board's fantasy be if they were given the Holodeck for a single day?

>Computer, texture the walls of the Holo-deck with historical file footage of a Bajoran resistance base.
>Computer, load the scanned model of Ensign Ro Laren, with the changes to jiggle physics we just inputed.
>Computer, overlay a cardassian skintexture over my position and generate a whip in Ensign Ro's hand.
>Safeties off, lock all doors, and disable all voice commands.

>>it's an Alexander episode

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have a wholesome girlfriend

>Computer, Load Brie Larson
>Computer, increase scale of Brie Larsons feet by a factor of 250
>Computer, remove Brie Larsons arms
>Computer, increase aggression and libido by a factor of 50
>Computer, Load climbing equipment
>Computer, disable safety protocols

Activate BASEBALL

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They'd all be same. Giving themselves and huge dick and fucking their mom with it.

There's practical uses for it beyond lactose_intolerant_giantess.hldk

>it's a Klingon politics episode
>it's a human looking aliens with some wrinkles on their forehead's politics episode for the 50th time

these are the BEST episodes though

who cleans up the cum after a massive orgy session in the holodeck

Can't the borg survive in space? I could have sworn their was a fight scene in one of the movies that was outside the ship and borg were just walking around. I mean yeah they would have trouble getting back into their cube, but they aren't dead.

>Computer, load up the 4d3d3d3

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If you have sex for the first time in the holodeck are you no longer a virgin?

>it's a Gene's dead so let's have his widow strip down naked in front of the whole cast episode

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>>it's a Lwaxana Troi episode
>>it's an Alexander episode
Absolutely the worst episodes in the series

>it's a Data episode

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>ayo you kids ain't keepin it real, real klingons be violent and shit
wtf worf

my dad was pissed about this episode too but I dont agree.

All worf did was talk and provide information and philosophy, If simply speaking was enough to shatter their "society" then it wasn't much of a society to being with. The romulens act chill but they have the klingons at gun point the whole time and wont even let them sing.

>computer, play “The Thong Song” at max volume through ship intercoms ok repeat indefinitely
There I made this 50 times better

I like when they use the holodeck to help solve a mystery.

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>that one lwaxana + alexander episode

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

Computer, lock on to Commander Deanna Troi. For the next month, whenever Commander Troi farts, scan the fart and record it the folder "Troi_Fart_Compilation_March".
>one month later
Computer, open folder Troi_Fart_Compilation_March.
>*beep boop* 152 files recorded
Excellent. Computer, combine all files into a single "mega fart" and save as Troi_Omega_Fart_12.
>File complete.
Computer, replace all air in the holodeck with file Troi_Omega_Fart_12. Disengage all safety protocols. Run program.

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It's beamed off and recycled.

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Computer, load up Celery Man.

Lwaxana was based.

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Data's best episode was when Worf and his son were in the cowboy simulation in the Holodeck. Change my mind.

a-koo-chee-moya

>not the Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty episode

computer, load program Riker gravy enema alpha beta 1

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Computer, please show me Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra, and turn the volume up.

>COME CHEER UP M'LADS TIS TO GLORY WE STEER

>computer, remove holographic cum
Even in the future you’re still an incel

Load up supplementary program Riker_Pie_Feeder

Alexander was in it so minus 1000 points, best data episode was when he beat up worf

What's supposed to be happening here? Are they supposed to get into a suit?

>Commander, set a new course! There is coffee in that nebula!

I liked her in the episode with the ritual suicide.

Based.
>tfw the whole album

No it'd only delete the holographic cum but what about the cum of the real people that just ends up on the floor once the simulation ends

Think about it.

>Darmok and Jalad
>at Tanagra
The walls come down, every time

a good lwaxana episode is the one where the ferangi trader turn her and her daughter into sex slaves and piccard starts splicing poems to save them

They were in an alien reconstruction of a shitty novel set in a casino. They were leaving but it just led them back into the casino. I just think it's funny how it's shot since it's clear they just walk all the way around and have to act confused they ended up back inside.

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best episode coming through

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If I remember correctly, a planet made a world for a astronaut in the mid 2000s that wound up on it so he could die in peace and the only thing it could come up with was the astronauts favorite book, which involved a casino.

The enterprise end up visiting that planet and now they're stuck because the entity never intended for the astronaut to ever leave. They find his dead body in one of the suites too.

Every time I think that these posts are getting old some cheeky fuck makes something like this.

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Weren't those two episodes the last ones with her?

Computer, load file DS9_Concentration_Camp_historic.holo, but modify all prisoners to be female. Additionally, increase lust values for prisoners by 5000%. I will be taking the roll of Dukat.

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Post your Favorite TNG Edit.

youtube.com/watch?v=Hfzkgc6r6-A

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>tfw putting together an Enterprise model
>tfw just now realizing that I'm going to NEED to paint the damn thing if I want it to look even remotely decent
Well fuck me.

>borg are literally just copying necron aesthetic now
what the fuck is wrong with nu-trek, I remember the borg having some green in their design but this is just over the top

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It wasn't even a good book, either.

DAMNIT DUKAT

>yfw Picard has just been copying Mass Effect's story.

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>Mr. Barclay, I understand you've been using the Holodeck to indulge in some rather... odd fantasies including my flatulence. Could you please explain why you're doing this? Don't worry, we're all friends here, I won't judge.

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Reminder, in a good timeline Dr.Selar would have still been the main doctor and we would have had this scene with her instead of crusher.

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TNG > DS9 = TOS > VOY = ENT > Shit > JJ Movies > even worse shit > Picard > Discovery

Thinking about it, why would sex slaves and the like even exist in star trek when you can have all the perfect custom sexual fantasies in the holodeck?

I'm sorry, did you mean DS9_Concentration_Camp_fantasy.holo?

Why do I agree with this?

youtube.com/watch?v=Mu2I35ReZ5A

That's not Bridge Buffonary

>Buying models
>Not realizing you need paint
You have no idea how angry I get when I see people playing Warhammer at my small GW with the figures unpainted.

youtube.com/watch?v=zDqq18kqGvs
Vamoose you little fucker

W-well, Deanna, you remember how last month I kept on recommending a lot of bean based foods and telling you how good brussels sprouts are for your health?

The JJ movies aren't bad. Just because it took a different approach to the trek universe doesn't mean it ruined it.

because soul crushing a hologram is not the same thing

Computer. Load up the full package futanari love hotel module.

load up Butter Lettuce Fantasy.

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TOS >>> rest

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I like all of those other then Alexander ama

What's Yas Forums's favorite Trek martial move? The open-palm punch or the twin-fist sledgehammer?

youtube.com/watch?v=UO8WiZab_PI
Truly the role Patrick Stewart was born for.

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>say "Computer, end program" out loud
>nothing happens

Maybe someday

Based. TNG is the best.
The JJ movies still aren’t good tho.

computer i just need something to fill the void

They're ok action flicks.
As insulting as they are to the original series they're suddenly more forgivable since Discovery and Picard.

Double hand swing to the back is essential trek kino.

I also like the rarely used "front kick to chin" though.

Computer, calculate for me the average yearly rate of death of Bajorans during the occupation if their total losses were 15 million dead and the occupation lasted for 50 years

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I don't really put models together, I just really like Star Trek.

youtu.be/3rYMykaNW6s

>data shits all over barkley lmao

Sauce?

I have a really good Star gazer sitting on my desk no paint required. I think its like the seahawk series or soemthing.

its the episode where barcly is trying to be more normal because diana forces him to put on a play as reparations for all the times he recorded her and crusher farting in the holodeck. After which everyone claps their hands because they feel bad for his garbage acting.

Data calls barcly out like the trash weeb he is and tells barcly to never talk to him or any of the bridge officers ever again.

The only thing is someone spliced piccard into it instead of barcly

ATTENTION BAJORAN WORKERS.
! Gul Dukat had hot sweaty wall slamming sex with Major Kira Nerys' mother.

I mean, all things said and done, it's going to look decent from far away. I've made a few mistakes though, like tearing some of the decals, and it's certainly noticeable up close.

I'm definitely just going to use this as a practice model and put just a few of them together. I don't really want to make a big hobby out of it though, I just want some cool Trek merch to display.

Why are cardassians so glutinous for bajoren pussy?

THERE
ARE
TWO
GENDERS

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I dont know I think that was the weirdest part of DS9. Like some rape and sex work makes sense but every single snake man would give up what they were doing to take a stab at some bumpy nose puss.

are you saying you wouldn't?

For me? Its Andorians.

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Computer, Simulate Spring 2004, floorplan from the office/study of attached blueprint of small suburban house. Simulate cold exterior temperature, but with gas furnace maintaining a comfy if drafty interior. Simulate Pentium 4 Vaio PC prebuilt with appropriate period affordable peripherals, dual speakers and flatscreen monitor.

Simulate PC desk, designated as battle station, with bottle of diet soda. Load battle station with Halo: Combat Evolved for PC, joining a low latency maximum player Blood Gulch CTF; but add other maps and gamemodes on a random weighted distribution. Base all other attributes of the experience on middleschool or highschool preset, but maintain simulation parameters.

Computer; simulate infinite time, 8:45 in the evening. Save preset as "Comfy". Begin.

Fascinating, a fully self-aware, sapient hologram with free will...

Computer, freeze program. Computer, modify Moriarty to have 10 million times its current sensitivity to and capacity to feel pain and remove ability to go unconscious. Modify Moriarty so that he well never grow more used to the pain or build any tolerance. Remove all of Moriarty's limbs and place him inside of an indestructible metal cage with sharp spikes on the inside... sharper. Good. Modify Moriarty to be incapable of dying in any way. Remove Moriartys sense of sight, hearing, taste, and smell. Computer, set Moriarty to repeatedly feel the highest level of pain he can feel, occurring randomly with a time gap between 0 seconds and 1 year. Computer, save the entire Moriarty contraption as Barclay_Fun.holo.
>File created.

Excellent. *pulls out portable hologram program container* Computer, load a copy of Barclay_Fun.holo onto this device, and set it to be running constantly at 10,000,000 times normal speed. Computer, how many copies of the program running at this speed can this device hold?
>The device can hold 5 million copies, and the battery will last for 100 years.
Perfect. Computer, fill the device completely with copy of Barclay_Fun.holo, all running at 10 million times speed.

Computer, unfreeze program.

>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH"

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>why

have you SEEN cardassian women?

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Computer delete this fags program lol.

Computer, simulate a room with a single chair and table, and a bottle of fine scotch, position a display 10 feet away and begin repeat playback of Legate Damar’s resistance speech and lock holodeck doors

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I skip Luwaxana episodes every time. Shame on the staff for making sure DS9 had one.

Top right kinda cute though.

>be cardasian living under brutal system where all trials are decided befoer they start
>guarding prisoners at a secret death camp no one is supposed to know about
>some random terran shows up out of no where and tries to sell you bajoren ass

"DROP ALL SHIELDS AND SECURITY PROTOCOLS, I REPEAT DROP ALL SHIELDS AND SECURITY PROTOCOLS"

>one

your joking but this LITERALLY HAPPENS IN AN EPISODE.

I don't remember this anywhere

His summary is a joke but it's not too far off the mark from the real episodes events.

Actually I had a brain fart and read Wesley whenever he wrote 'Barcly', now I remember the episode.
I meant the video with Gate being slapped by Brent.

>99% of space marines are just painted one color (usually blue)
>99% of orks only have their head painted green
>99% of tyranids are just painted purple
It seems like players who use any army outside of those three put alot more effort into the minis. I thought my ad mech team was painted pretty badly but after seeing I was one of two people (a tau player) who used more than 2 colors I felt pretty good about myself.

You'll notice that the kid Worf takes hunting thinks it's stupid until he gets the prey's scent and all his natural instincts kick in.

If the Romulans had ever let them out to do their own thing, it would have happened by itself sooner or later. We're talking about who the Klingons are at their core, it's in their genes.

My first army will be Maggotkin. Sadly I suck at painting:

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Really? it was after the episode where piccard got into a fist fight with spocks father but before the episode where worf and his 2000 years of folded klingon martial history got solod by a single empty plastic polymer barrel.

Real talk: What in the world makes a person pick nurgal out of all the options?

And the Andorian said... that's not my antenna

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scat fetish

The great part about time dilation is I can have you fuck off for as long as I want while I'm running dudes over with a warthog.

Tell me for a second people wouldn't want to spend a little time reliving the fun and easy parts of life?

Based shit painter user. Keep working at it you'll get. Better.

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My favorite color is green.

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DS9 was the beginning of the problems with Star Trek that we have today.
It was dark and gritty and had none of the optimism. It was a Trek created without Roddenberry or his vision of the hopeful future. It was the nightmare future we have today

DS9 is good though.

It still had a ton of the whimsy of Star Trek which was as big a part of the series as anything else

No, Picard is the nightmare present/future, DS9 was TNG but much more serious.

>had none of the optimism
Either you didn't watch it or you're too stupid to see it when it's not as black and white as TNG or TOS

It took Worf to show up and infuse the show with the spirit of TNG for the show to lighten up honestly

Drop the last line, just makes it underwhelming.

I like the one where Data is the acting captain, and has to tell Worf to listen or his ass is getting demoted.

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>It's a Garak episode

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Disengage safety protocols

Remember that one butthurt dude who didn't want to serve under Data?

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what was this thing called? noo noo?

JJ movies aren't bad but they ain't trek

>Data has served in Starfleet for 20 odd years by then
>he's been promoted to Lt Commander the same way as anyone else
>he's Second Officer on the Federation flagship
>"I don't trust a robot in command!"
That guy was prejudice for literally no other reason than to shoehorn in some tension

DS9 is like every other well done "subversive" randition of any series, be it book, movie, ect.

Even if done well it open up the flood gate of retards trying to do the same thing with none of the subtlety and thought that went into the thing the are aping.

See Half-life and its effect on fps games.
Good series but it is THE source of the bloated stories in games "gritty" stories and trend towards "realism" through the early to late 2000's.

Its like blaming Predator for all the shitty b-movies with some ass-hole in a rubber suite running around in the woods.

How come in the TOS Klingons were supposed to be rational stoic beings while in TNG they act like honor-centric, easy-to-anger war-mongers? Every talks how different Klingons look from series to series but never about this.

youtube.com/watch?v=NOIrfcbRFgA
>All that work for artificial rights thrown out the airlock for some 'orange man bad' political statement
Fuck me.

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>The Road is a good movie. It has a point. There's a reason it's dark and depressing.
user...the road is a really average movie, it isn't very good. That being said, I 100% agree with you about STP. Fuck this shitty show.

What episodes do you like then? Do you even like trek?

MIIIIILEES!!

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Of all people not to trust, Data was reliable, capable, and smart as fuck. I'd be praying for a Data on every ship.

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I think the idea is that an android can be hacked.

A decent amount of TOS Klingons are effected by a retrograde gene virus that makes them unkligon like.

MFW i see dead cardies.

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What do you mean you won't make love to me, Miles? I'm your wife

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I'm pretty sure that's just a fan-theory

Computer, load stats about transgender suicides.
Ok, now cross reference that with statistics about crime rates by race.
Computer, list the people who profited off of insurance payouts from 9/11 and stratify them by religio-ethnicity
Computer, show me a pie graph of media ownership by religious affiliation.
Now computer, simulate what would happen if the state of Israel was hit with multiple warheads.

Spoonheads are a joke.

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Weird episode.

You didn't watch Enterprise, did you

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No that's litterally from a whole series of episodes in Enterpise.

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Yeah, in First Contact there is a scene where the Borg are fucking with some of the stuff on the outside of the Enterprise trying to link with other Borg. To be fair though, in that scene it looks like the damage came from the Borg being thrown into space before all the air was let out. Still, haven't seen the show and it looks like edgy shit which is all star trek is nowadays.

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Janny is awake, prepare for thread deletion

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didn't you watch picard? synths can be reprogrammed to do horrible things!

What type of ship is that? It's a double nautalus.... Transport?

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Stop I don't want to see these webms

Oh it's an old school bird of prey.
Uh ..... What's a good star trek game?

I think you mean it was a statement on how prejudice doesn't make any fucking sense.

I always wondered if O'brien would have preferred to actually spend 100 years in that prison than go back to Keiko.

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I love that I'm seeing more and more star trek threads. I'm going to vent. Star trek Picard is garbage and its so disappointing especially since Patrick Stewart is old and this will probably be his last star trek show. Fuck Alex kurtzman.

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It's an episode where a naval blockade works in space, no one was thinking too hard about morality

Keiko was a fine wife, people project too much onto her. Honestly I didn't mind her, she only has 2 episodes where she's truely annoying.

The prejudice made sense, though. His concern was Data would disregard lives of human crew because he is an android and has no concept of things like fear, death, and a whole plethora of emotions that play into captaining a ship. To him it was like putting the ship computer in the captain's seat. Not a person. He was still a dick about it and Data put him in his fucking place though.

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wouldn't you?

A naval blockade could work in space, you'd just require a very specific set up around the planets.

>Patrick Stewart is old and this will probably be his last star trek show
It's his idea. He has some creative control, he agrees with the politics, he's working on it because he wants to be there.

For Star Trek, no more Patrick Steward will be a good thing

The only reason it works is because they knew approximately where to expect the incoming ship.

>>it's a non-Q godlike being who toys with the Enterprise episode
Remember when the enterprise shows up on a planet where a woman with Q-like powers shows up and claims right to the planet due to an agreement 1-thousand years ago and Picard immediately said "this is bullshit, these powers don't exist, she's a fraud". There was no "we must find out whether or not she has abilities of beings we KNOW to exist with powers like this" just "yup this bitch is bullshit".

Disregard the fact that she WAS a fraud, it just made me think that maybe Picard would use past experiences as a base when interacting with creatures that may have Q-like abilities.

Why is no more Patrick a good thing?

>The dude that got slammed into the table at 0:07 had his uniform rip because of the impact

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yes, Noo-Noo.

>For Star Trek, no more Patrick Steward will be a good thing
I get that your upset but you can't really believe that

It's in deep space, along an invisible border. The Romulans could go in literally any direction around the 20 or so ships the Federation brought the moment they spotted them.

more like the alien: isolation vidya than star trek

And, in fact, Data was hacked MULTIPLE FUCKING TIMES and caused the deaths of many people simply because "lol robutt".

Shouldn't have gone up against a drunken Irishman.

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He has quite a bit of control because there is no dominant force behind the scenes except for alex kurtzman. How many fucking producer credits are there now? Less than discovery at least, right?

Obrien took young Keiko to pound town, wouldn't you? Must have blown so many loads its not even funny.

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They couldn't though. The Federation knew they would be cloaked, and they knew approximately where they would travel. The whole episode is about how they set up and coordinated a detection network specifically meant to identify cloaked romulan ships. Once the romulan ship showed up it was trapped, it couldn't move anywhere without being detected. That's literally a plot point for half the episode. The only reason it goes tits up is because Data disregards orders and manages to decloak the ship manually.

Is that a fucking disruptor rifle? Damn Whoopi.

Computer, show a model of Data wearing a sensible beard.

Guinan is such a shitty bartender. Let the drunks fight.

Guinan never being explained will always piss me off. And its too late for a TNG-style explanation of who or what she is, the only thing we'll get is some fucking nuTrek garbage explanation.

play orks faggit

Stewart was always the one pushing for more action hero scenes for Picard. Every time Picard drops the cultured diplomat act to run around like John McClain, that was at his insistence. The entire dune buggy scene from Nemesis was his idea, even.

He's a great actor but he doesn't respect the character or the franchise. Picard is the final proof of that.

>Let the drunks fight.
Weren't they just pissed the fuck off because of Vulcan Senility magically having a ship-wide effect on the crew?

The one where they travel back in time the 8 movie

Hey dick head. Some thing don't need to be exsplained. Ever. It's ok for something to be unexplained especially if it leads to making something more interesting. Exsplaing her would only ever make her less interesting.

I'm not too familiar with star trek but has O'brien actually won more fights than Worf?
Are the Irish a more powerful warrior race than the Klingons?

Probably. I'm just being racist.

No, user. Space is infinite. The moment the Romulans detected Federation ships, which would millions of miles before they bumped into them, they could just around around the entire blockade. They don't have to go through it to get to their destination. Adding travel time to fly around, over or beneath the whole fleet by a few hundred thousand miles is infinitely better than trying to "open a hole" and fly through.

Possibly, it wasn't until DS9 that they really let Warf win fights.

O'Brien is far more powerful than Worf. It just comes at the cost of everything bad happens to him. Even holograms of him.

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Why the Star trek movies stopped been good with generation?

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Damn, if that's true, it's really sad he can't tell the difference. I find that hard to believe since he's been to so many cons and has met with many fans and interviewers.

everyone beats worf's ass

They were traveling TO A PLANET, and that planet was SURROUNDED BY A DETECTION NETWORK.

>Some thing don't need to be exsplained.
This would be true if there weren't multiple moments in TNG where her origin came into debate. The episode where Q meets her gets scared and goes on an entire tirade about how she's bad news, or the episode where she's alive in early 1900s San Francisco, or in the episode where she knows about the Borg before they were even remotely within the same galaxy as them because "they blew up my planet".

So yeah, some things don't need explanation, Guinan's origins do if only because they hyped her up as a great mystery. You foot-faced bitch.

Oh, he's completely up his own ass.

No, they were travelling over the Klingon/Romulan border. In deep space.

>Why the Star trek movies stopped been good with generation?
The TNG movies weren't that great either. Star Trek will always thrive when it has a shoestring budget and the team has actual enthusiasm to make a non-flashy space show.

>The TNG movies weren't that great either.
That's putting it lightly

VEEE GHER

I hate that people cuss in star trek now. It doesn't fit it at all.

Who gives a fuck dude. Would hearing that she's some sorta Q like being really add much to her character? Maybe she's a time traveler. It doesn't actually matter to the grander plot. Everything in the show and episodes featured around Guinan works without having to stop and break down who she is removing all the fun of having a mysterious character.

>The sheer fucking hubris of this post

Wasn't Klingon society once a caste system, like with warriors and poets and the like, but buy the time of TNG the warrior caste was all that was left?

What's there to explain? She's from an advanced, long lived race.

TNG movies suck

And no one can say is nostalgia because I never seen a star Trek media before this week, the first 6 movies are good with high and lows, but with the TNG crew I couldn't get into the movies

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a classic
youtube.com/watch?v=414TmP12WAU

>She's from an advanced, long lived race.
From what Q says, she's more than that.

JJ movies are pieces of shit specifically because they ruined the brand. They are generic action movies that pander to nostalgia for people who haven't even fucking seen TOS
>I'm Kirk, a serious captain who values the lives of my crew-members above all else
>No jk, I just fuck green alien babes! I'm like that guy from guardians of the galaxy
>I'm Spock, I am a Vulcan. As a Vulcan I have no emotions.
>I'm Spock I'm ANGRY ALL THE TIME!!!
>I'm Scottie, a cranky Scotsman and tough bastard who beats the shit out of Klingons when they insult my beloved ship!
>No lol, I'm a geek technician guy!
>I'm Uhura, a very feminine and cute lady who kind of acts like an anime girl
>NO, I'M A TOUGH BADASS WOMAN RESPECT ME!!!!
>I'm Checkov and I mention Russian history literally every chance I get
>That might put off American viewers so I won't do that!
The only characters who felt at all in character were Bones and Sulu and the reason for that was that Karl Urban is a great actor and Sulu had very little character. Hell, the new Sulu didn't even have the theatricality of the old one since it wasn't played by "gayest man ever" George Takei.

Literally the single thing that could have got some extra hint was that she somehow had powers to counter Q.
Everything else is "long-lived race with unique psychic nuances".

Yeah, the director messed up. Should've moved the camera to the mirrored perpendicular position.

I think it happened before TNG but yes. There were many classes once upon a time but warriors could collect the most honor through combat, and honor was everything, so everyone became a warrior, so really the Klingon scientist and things we see are really like science warriors or military doctors. It's amazing The Klingon Empire managed to hold together for so long, and if that one episode of voyager is true it's still around 2000 years after voyager.

From what is shown in TNG and DS9, Klingon society places excessive importance on its soldiers as part of their warrior tradition and it's exacerbated by their nobility, Imperial Klingons on the High Council and ruling the Great Houses, following that tradition as it's the most important aspect of their culture. It's a bunch of blue blooded aristocrats playing war and the common man following along because they all want a piece of that honour and glory pie, to the point that even peasant farmers dream of signing up to die in battle rather than accept toiling in fields for the good of the Empire.

>They are generic action movies that pander to nostalgia for people who haven't even fucking seen TOS
So are all the TNG movies, what's your fucking point.

m-mummy

I agree with you. Sometimes it's better to leave something unexplained, especially when it's not really all that important anyway.

The TNG movies are all bad

is she thoooooooooooo?

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>"Computer, create a 7 foot model of Deanna Troi's vagina, all the way to the womb, and place it horizontally."
>*BEEP BEEP* Program already exists within ships files under the name "NASTYMEATCAVE3.
>"Okay computer, load up nasty meat cave 3"
>*BEEP BEEP* Program restricted to lieutenant ranked officers and above.
lol barclay a virgin forever

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The TNG movies suck too, but they were still made to appeal to trek fans. The JJ movies specifically target people who don't give a shit about Star Trek.

The TNG movies didn't ruin trek, the JJ movies did.

so are at least half of the tos movies. Star trek movies are rarely good.

Why not recreate the program under a different name?

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Yes

>but they were still made to appeal to trek fans
I wanted Star Trek the motion picture, instead I got picard murderbonering borg and acting like an action star.

>It's a 'Troi gets raped' episode

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Yah but the JJ movies are entertaining as mindless action movies at the very least

not 2

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Computer, create the scene from Boku no Pico 2: Pico & Chico where they enter the attic and start spying on Chico's sister who is masturbating and insert me in the role as Pico.

Based

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Sisko>Picard>Kirk>Janeway

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>it's an episode where the female character has to wear a loose-fitting, transparent outfit where you can see her butt
Love these episodes some times its crazy how they got passed the censors.

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Oh yah 2 is ass. 1 and 3 are fun tho

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You actually watched it?

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People have cussed im Star Trek before now, but it was kept to "hell" and maybe "damn" (i don't recall any instance of this one, but there's probably at least one), but now everything's gotta be edgy, and what's more edgy than having a character drop a completely unnecessary "fuck" or two?

She had three episodes on DS9.

Picard>Kirk>Janeway=Sisko>archer>>>discovery captains=picard picard

Name the bad ones

>TO ADD SOMETHING MORE TO THIS WONDERFUL YEAR

Would you?

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Beyond is legit a decent trek flick. A bit too actiony, and that they were like under a days flight from a core planet was strange but it felt a lot like a TOS episode

Don't you find it odd that the federation never wants to talk about things like planetary GDP increases or technologic standard of living changes since before and after the occupation user?

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I always thought their beds looked really uncomfortable

you haven't? what the fuck is wrong with you?

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Sisko = Kirk > Picard > Archer (on a good episode > Janeway > Archer (on a bad episode)

3, 4 and 5, though it's more of an overall rating. There are good sections of those movies, though 5 is almost complete shit.

Bones was fucking A+ in those movies, at least. Anytime with Bones not on screen, and Spock being a whiny bitch and not being berated by Bones, was a total waste of time.

Would I!?

Hell yes.

They all have SOME decent moments
But Picard Kirk and Sisko are the only consistently gr8 ones

I dunno man, I was never committed enough to the memes to actually watch an underage boy get railed out by an old man. I'm pretty vanilla.

you're an idiot.

>Once by the entity that wanted to learn about humans
>Twice by the psychic memory dude
>Twice by Shinzon (one was cut from the final release)

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>4
Nigger that the best one

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God I want to kiss Doctor Crusher.

tfw no one will ever chase you down a beach holding TWO LEMONADES

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Nah, i'm just not playing along with you.

What has Xmen got to do with this?

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Siskos kid was the closest they ever got to making a likeable kid character in trek.

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Dr. Crusher is smart, attractive, and fun to be around. She could be with literally anyone, and she chose the bald, old, serious, french dude who was her dead husbands best friend and also indirectly responsible for his death.

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The guy commanding the federation's flagship isn't a good catch?

It was probably just me but I also enjoyed Nog

I enjoyed most of the Klingon episodes of TNG.

I can't believe we still haven't seen a single Klingon in Picard, it's almost offensive.

Nah, nog was okay. Far more likable than Wesley.

Picard is hot I'm sorry to have to tell you this. Confident, holds a position of power, well spoken. He's a Chad but not in the classical sense.

Probably avoiding it after the reception to the changes they made to them in Discovery.

The more stuff they don't lore rape, the better.

Nog. Had the longest, most fleshed out, best character arc in the entire franchise.

In Trek humans can be hacked in several different ways, and have been multiple times.

At this point it's better. Let's keep as much as we can out of Picard

Modern Klingons are way too ugly anyway, I'd rather not.
I sorta role nog in with Siskos kid. Not is just a fun dope.

I haven't see Star Trek Picard yet

I know they ruined the Federation and the Borg. What else did they fuck up?
Please tell me the Romulans are pure

Can we all agree that while star trek is good, the first two seasons of B5 were better?

Haven't seen it

>Please tell me the Romulans are pure
should we tell him

Why was Data a big deal when every Ship was fitted with an advance AI?

They sorta ruin data and the Rommys Im sorry.
I like B5 but I don't know about that.

I HAVE TO KNOW user
TELL ME WHAT THEY DID

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Aaron Eisenberg died to prevent this timeline

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>have the second biggest empire compared to the feds
>have to all go to fed space because ONE PLANET blew up

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Not everyone has access to the holodeck 26/7. Sometimes you just get the urge, but have no reservation.

cause Data was a straight up dude, the AI's were just fancy Siri

YOOOOOOOO

ship computers were not sentient

what the fuck

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My fucking brain hurt reading that.

There was an entire episode where the ship gained sentience, had a baby and then the baby fucked off and the crew were all 'yeah that happened, back to flying around scanning for minerals on random planets'.

i mean what are you supposed to do, give the ship maternity leave? We're out here exploring the galaxy and shit.

I thought Klingons were second largest.
I still want to know what that bit of every star map with like "confederation of unified planets" marked on it was about.

?
Guinan is an El Aurian, one of the fucking movies is mostly about her people. They were a diplomatic race who were royally fucked over by the Borg.

Now her being able to fuck with Q is a different story. I'm okay with that remaining a mystery though.

>these edits were made by the guy who would later go on to make Homestuck
youtube.com/watch?v=ogFxgtsypBc
youtube.com/watch?v=ngsqaRD2HI8

huh

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computer purges redundant files for efficiancy

Well we have to think, we can get past this
What about a holoprogram that automatically makes a copy whenever it is deleted?

what the actual fuck

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>Andrew Hussie went from stuff like this, Team Special Olympics, and Problem Sleuth to Homestuck
kill me pete

Your holodeck privilege are being removed.

10 years 40 years 100 years, how about im doing none of em?

lmao

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>Captain Nog fucking dying

I'm not kidding
mspaintadventures.fandom.com/wiki/Jandrew_Edits
Also Shai'hulud

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what happened to 7's titties in picard

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What about a program that is designed to shut down key elements of life support systems on the ship whenever the program is deleted however is restored whenever said systems are turned back on and simultaneously creates a copy of said holo program which has the same functions

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>3
>4
>Bad
Are you fucking serious?

Yes.

You rolled a five and a one.

Barkley tried to play this game and he lost

Then you are a retard with horrid taste.

>... Load routine Barclay/228922
>Populate the dungeon with the students of class 1A
>ENGAGE

>killing nog
what the fuck

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No that's you

>Load StarCraft.exe, make my race Protoss vs 1 Easy CPU.

HIRE

yeah I was wondering why he didn't do it.

I'll be right back, gonna fap to the vulcan big tiddy waifu I made in STO wearing seven of nine's uniform

Are you going to share with the class?

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what fag wouldn't their loli wife

CHANGE DEFAULT LANGUAGE TO CHINESE

DELETE ENGLISH

also played best waifu

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why did this make me laugh

>klingess
cringe

>vulcan goddess
uncringe

Nog did die in real life.
Not the actor mind you, though he died too.

I wonder what it'd be like to have a vulcan wife

This episode was weird, I wonder if it gave anyone actual nightmares.

I know, but she was much better as selar, fucking rotenberry was pissy about having TOS species on the enterprise. God bless that man but also fuck him

did he?

Vulcan weddings are weird.

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH im only on season 3

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Pretty recently too

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>Ded

"Mr. Clemens! What brings you here?"

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hn hah
HOO
hah

Yeah, borg have personal shielding.

Isn't that ship old as fuck? Rumulans must have moths their wallets.

>we are people dedicated to logic
>look at all this ridiculous ritualistic bullshit we do though

It's was some old Romulan ship some local warlord/crime boss got a hold of.

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It was a joke, I haven't finished DS9 either.
Star trek isn't real.

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They made a Picard comic already?

It was the equivalent of telling blacks that they were kangz and shiet and then they start raping everyone

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A teenager goes from bored and disinterested to thirsting for the blood of wild animals in the space of 5 seconds just because he smelled something. Klingons are just that violent at heart

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Dukat did nothing wrong

I can tell by the attire that it's set in the Mirror Universe.

I've had her as my science officer for literally ten years. She feels like an old friend along with being my fapbait.

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the tng uniforms are hotter

This. Fuck DS9

You may be on to something. Honestly, I change uniforms for me and my bridge crew often.

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>>it's a Lwaxana Troi episode
i like those!

weirdo

These event horizon episodes were the best

Space is full of bullshit.

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So, should I watch Farscape or Stargate next?

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still would

Have you not seen SG1? In that case, watch that.

Farscape. It's the shorter series, and then when you get to Stargate and they have a segment that parodies it you can appreciate it more.

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The accomplished author, Mark Twain.
youtube.com/watch?v=_uIxSwvmWVM
youtube.com/watch?v=RNTRLPx7IuQ

Stargate is a little better and there's more of it.

I love John Creighton's PTSD Roadtrip.

Stargate SG1 and if you liked that Atlantis. Don't watch Discovery I mean Universe

It got assimilated

Crichton had a hard life.

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>Don't watch Discovery I mean Universe
damn

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Its a fucking shame what they did to his character toward the end.

Nice.

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thats not a really fair comparison, Universe was just shit, and the people making the show realized it was shit and canned the fucker. the STD team deliberately made it shit, know its shit and when people called it shit, double downed on the shit.

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Fucking Yas Forums mods

shitcunt mod fuck off with your no fun bullshit

I've seen a handful of threads over the past couple months get moved to other boards instead of being deleted outright

It's like Yas Forums got a new mod who doesn't understand he's being a faggot

Woah wtf, I got confused for a second seeing this 400+ reply thread on Page 5 lol

I'm absolutely positive the thread wouldn't get moved if it were something he was interested in.