ALMOST HEAVEN

I'm pretty sure I have it but there's no way to know because I can't get tested.

People will either go to paper towels or start using the shower and soap. TP hoarders are complete retards.

I have yet to see this copypasta get less than 5 responses

Get some rest user

How the fuck are you wiping your ass fat boy?

I don't know what song that's supposed to be

an add-on bidet is about $30 and installs in about 5 minutes even if you are a complete retard. Get one, it will change your life.

Tell me that again in a year.

water stopped working last week

Why WV so based?

>50 deaths in a country of over 300 million
How many have died in car crashes in the same span of time, several thousand? Wow it's nothing.

Paper towels are definitely the smarter investment. Who cares if they hurt your ass a bit more? They can be used for so much more.

This will be over with in a year user so I'll tell you it now

>The average person uses 1 roll per day

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go infect some old white people

>he wipes his ass, which is designed to contain the shit naturally between the cheeks anyway
do white people really?

it'll become an annual event like swine flu

They only leave the house to buy opiates

Good thing it only effects people with shitty immune systems and old age

I guess we will need to come up with a vaccine like H1N1

Or some immigrant children

>watching Fox
>posting Fox

Do you really hate yourself&life this much, bro? Read some actual factual news and not madeup fake news (designed to make you miserable&angry) without any sources at all.

that will be you in a few years

Dabbing on whiteys crappy immune system

children are pretty much immune and tend to not even develop any symptoms. I don't think a single person under 20 has died from this thing.

I better live it up while I still have time lol

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Probably the US alone, yes. If not now then by next week. Ohio health officials say they probably have at least 100k+ undiagnosed in their state.

I have a hairy ass so I do use half a roll. Seems like I can wipe forever. Also weak ass muscles. I used to say like someone broke a crayon off at the hole for years and family guy made the joke recently.

Fox is the best least biased

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>believing government officials

It's literally on the pic

liberals hate trump so much they conspired with china to release a deadly virus to stop his reelection

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ebola was much worse

Based WV has zero cases

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Someone post the webm of the Chinese putting stuffing adult body bags full of dead toddlers so this user can call them midgets.

Lel fuck no, as a single guy I go thru maybe two rolls a week

When is the World gonna end?

Same, bro.

imagine only fat people would die
imagine

Take me home, to the place I belong.
youtube.com/watch?v=AmMtCGs5wAc

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>filename
There are currently 38 separate state of emergency's active in the United States. I think the oldest is from 1979 or something.
They're really no big deal, just a way to get quick funding, not a sign that the country is about to explode.

just installed a bidet. Ask me anything

and yes it feels like someone is tonguing my butthole

what's with that dude's hair?

children are actually top spreaders bro

At least you're no longer fingering your butthole

brainlet

don't cry when your mommy and daddy gets it

how do you know what a butthole tonguing feels like?

Jokes on you, my mommy and daddy are already dead lol

>2000 known cases in US
>only 50 known deaths
Imagine still being scared of this shit. Unless you're a literal 70 year old boomer it's not a big deal.

DUDE THIS WILL HAPPEN AGAIN NEXT YEAR LOL

>food shops are suddenly being emptied
>I literally cannot buy my weekly food shopping
>the usual transits and deliveries of supplies are in no way currently being affected, there is absolutely no reason for this to be happening, yet it is
I fucking hate people.

I have a sore throat.

Yeah, they spread it a lot because they don't present symptoms... So they just go about their lives spreading death

its like every 3 years.

True, my XFL is undefeated and they canceled my season reeeeee

>Unless you're a literal 70 year old boomer it's not a big deal.
I'm going to put an idea in your mind

What if

Hold on

What if people...cared about someone who is over 60?

Whoa, wtf

It's still early. Everyone falls for it the first time.

Guys, you really should start using bidets, they're great

based zoomers genociding boomers

RIP IN PEACE

shouldn't have throated all those dicks yesterday my dude

ohnononononono

>0.000625% of the population infected

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I’m gonna enjoy thinking about you stupid smug fuckers in the coming weeks lmao.

go back to r*ddit

BURN IT WITH FIRE

Stop hanging out with geezers user and make friends your own age!

Glad to be a Muslim and save money

Lalala
Hey Hey
Lalala
Hey Hey
Lalala
Lalala

>go to big store
>no toilet paper
>go down the street to pajeets food mart
>stacks galore, walk out with 2 bundles, some hand soap, and lysol

Dumb fucks

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remember the six gorillions

Retarded estimate. China's numbers are obviously downplayed but there's no way one US state has more than all of China's declared.

What's happening in the coming weeks?

guys my nose has been acting up today.....

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>have a job where I just sit at a computer all day
>interact with coworkers maybe once a day, sometimes only a couple times a week

I hope to god this reaches full of pandemic and I get to work from home and they never bring me back in.

I have never wanted to punch someone in the face more than you right now.

Then the last problem is if you have enough toilet paper rolls. Get a source of drinking water retard.