...

that's the joke you autistic faggot

imagine being this fucking autistic

she's like uma therman with a better face

she'll never understand

wow what a sperg

Astounding.

A man was waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor came and informed the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms, or legs. The son was just a head!

But the dad loved his son and raised him as well as he could. Eighteen years later, the son was old enough for his first drink. The dad took him to a bar, tearfully told him he was proud of him, and ordered the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously, the boy took his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooop! A torso popped out!

The bar was dead silent, then burst into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" The bartender shook his head in dismay.

Swoooop! Two arms popped out!

The bar went wild. The father, crying and wailing, begged his son to drink again. The patrons chanted, "Take another drink! Take another drink!" But the bartender ignored the whole affair.

By this time, the boy was getting tipsy. With his new hands, he reached down, grabbed the drink, and guzzled the last of it.

Swoooop! Two legs popped out.

The bar was in chaos. The father wept with joy. The boy stood up on his new legs. He stumbled to the left. He stumbled to the right. Then he stumbled through the front door and into the street, where a truck ran him over.

The bar fell silent. The father moaned with grief. The bartender merely sighed and said, "He should have quit while he was a head."

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Why do I see irish on my mind's eye whenever I read or hear this joke?

>such a dimwit he cannot get a teevee joke
It's over.

>oh man, there's very few films that'll top it babe, but I'm telling you, my favourite part of that film has *gotta* be when he meets her again and it's like what, 15 years? Since he last saw her. And his leg is shaking from his muscle thing right? And she's looking in better shape while he just can't get his play off the ground, he can barely make awkward conversation y'know? He can barely look at this girl he used to love enough to cheat on his wife with! You can tell he's thinking to himself "aw man, my life coulda been so much better man!"
But damn, when he finds her in that house she bought later on? And she's dead from smoke inhalation? That shit makes me choke up every time...

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>and then I open up a thread and straight up post only a single word "sneed" close the thread and never show up in there again

so... what movie is it? Das Boot?

>Tom Brady is driving through Atlanta and the police stops him.

>Police: May I see your driving licence?
>Brady: Driving licence? What is that?
>Police: The thing with your face in it.
>Brady: Alright
>Brady reaches in his handbag and hands over his makeup
mirror to the police
>Police is looking into the mirror
>Police: Sorry we didn't know you were a police man as
well. Drive on!

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I wouldn't know, I don't use Twitter, Intagram and the like.
>everyone's using this thing called "Viber"
>have no idea what it is
>have no friends so it's not like I'll ever need it
Sometimes I feel like a relic.

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>the insecure, possessive beta desperately fronting as an alpha

Jesus Christ.

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>And so this guy is says to him, "if i pulled off your mask would it hurt?" right?
>and then the other guy is like "it would be extremely painful or something"
>then the first guy is like "you're a big guy"
>and the guy with the mask says "for you"
>you probably wont get it because you're a woman

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definitely

I never used social media, don't bully me...

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the subtle implant jiggle

#
>haha babe, I saw this absolutely crazy guy yesterday, genuinely looked like he was out of smash mouth or something!
>Really? Where was it?
>Don't remember, but he looked hilarious. Pass me your sunglasses..
Yeah, he was wearing them like this and I could see him talking to this girl who really wasn't into it, had her by the back of the neck like this and was just talking, had his hand up here, like that!
>Haha, you're so good at impressions user!

if you ever wondered if Yas Forums was truly r*ddit, look no further than this thread

>tfw I basically did this 6 years ago to my now-wife on our first date

Baneposting pays off.

Missing the point of that post so hard makes me think that you're an incel. It's not THAT he's touching her, it's WHERE and the way he's touching her. Hand over the shoulder? Great. Hand on the lower back? Great. Gripping the back of her neck? THere's something wrong there.

>"I don't get it."

imagine being this autistic

You see babe, the best part are these tender little moments of subverted expectation, which contrast with the shock and suddenness of violence to make us think twice about the characters' humanity. First, Serrano hands a letter to the oil boss, who pockets it. The viewer questions for an instant whether he'll crumple it, since it's obvious Serrano will never be in position to confirm it's been sent -- but the boss keeps it. Later, after Nilo saves Scanlon's life by defeating the rebels, Scanlon immediately goes for the driver's door. However Instead of escaping, he suddenly chooses to bring the dying Nilo.

Finally, when the boss asks Scanlon about Managua, the viewer is ready for noble empathy, for him to "do it for Nilo." That final subversion forces the viewer to revisit the relationship of the lazaro drivers and by extension every character.

>this

you need 6 more levels of irony to post here

Oh yes darling! I especially liked the way they inverted the plot of Treasure of the Sierra Madre, right down to that final scene and the notion of taking up the mantle of a dead man's life.

Me on the bottom left

Kek

>-Boats

I'll explain as simply as possible: You have autism, maybe asperger's.

abuse

>... and then I came on her face and slapped her titties around, it was EPIC

>So the doctor says OK, if you're really going to force me to choose, I'll choose the right-hand one, because it's bigger. He actually says 'it has significant advantage in both length and breadth' but anyway. So Aubrey says no, you fail! That's completely wrong! Because ... hahaha.... because in the Navy you must always choose THE LESSER OF TWO WEEVILS. And the Doctor doesn't think it's funny at all. Then they have a toast to the lesser of two weevils.

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>We live in a world, where I get to cum in girls like that.. Just because she wants to be ahead of the "fuck this, not that" trends, and I'm exotic because I'm an unapologetically conservative white boy loser that larps as artsy big-brain.

The more this world goes to shit, the more outliers score.

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>you'll never guess what happens, babe
>guess what
...
>get this
>the whole movie is if you look at it, you go insane and kill yourself, right?
>BUT NOBODY KNOWS WHAT IT IS!
>I tell ya baby, wow
>it's fucken cutting edge babe

>so he pulls up to this place and the sign says Sneeds feed and seed
>formerly Chucks

You're so smart babe. Instead of searching for a vein of gold, they must save one. Instead of focusing on mining, they enlarged the kino journey through the wild. Instead of laughing off their losses at the end, when Nilo starts to laugh at fate Scanlon angrily refuses to give up. Instead of "Bogart" dying, he's the last desperate survivor. Friedkin's bleaker take on jungle greed rises to the level of a serious film while TSM is merely on the highest tier of Hollywood blockbusters.

fucking kek

Holy shit thats so hot, I'm really wet

The neck massage.

Dumb fucking redditor. That’s why it’s funny.

The “do you feel in charge?”

Based

Thats cool but you really need to watch this part . . . remember we talked about how tension in this movie is punctuated by popping sounds?

Isn’t this stupid meme from twitter?

Boy I bet you feel pretty stupid now, huh?