The Epic of Gilgamesh

The Rock as Gilgamesh
Terry Crews as Enkidu

No, it could not. Sumerians weren't black, and Gilgamesh was the strongest guy around.

cast it

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GIRUGAMESH

Enkidu was likely black. Also Sumarians weren't white either.

Henry Cavill as Enkidu

>Hollywood
>Respectfully depicting ancient culture

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something something ZASSHU

Motherfucker, did I say they were white? DID I? Goddamn, you insufferable pieces of shit make me so fucking sick it's a wonder I even bother communicating with you bumbling, drooling fucking retards. Fuck. KYS

Its likely the Sumerians were whiter than you

Very based.

Sumerians looked too stupid to be popular with modern audiences, hell, I think they look kind of dumb

Ok, not dumb, but they look too Alien but kind of goofy

I'd love to see it, but I don't have any clue who the cast would be. It's not the sort of movie modern Hollywood would make though without ruining though, maybe it's better off without an adaptation until it can be done well.

What's this about?

>ruins his own thread with autism

this king who was bad and powerful so the gods sent a beast to kill him but the beast ended up becoming bffs with the king and then the king saw he was as strong as him and the king was like "wouldn't be totally bad ass if we kill this giant ass monster?" and so they do and from there I think most of the story was lost

> The Sumerians called themselves “the black headed people” and their land, in cuneiform script, was simply “the land” or “the land of the black headed people”and, in the biblical Book of Genesis, Sumer is known as Shinar.
Also, Crown of the King of Kish.

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Rebel Wilson as Humbaba

Is they were black, how come all of their art portrays the figures in white colour? Chances are they looked something like Assad or Saddam and the like. They were certainly not niggers.

Black headed as in hair you fucking retarded moron

That's like saying the blackfoot tribe are black

Tyrone, if their skin was black, why would their name specify the head? It's almost like it was referring to a colored part of the body found predominantly on the head. Like hair.

Do you think they look exactly like they depict themselves in art? They looked similar to other middle-easterners with curly black hair.

Here's how the portrayed themselves. I don't much about their genetics, but this was long before the fertile crescent was conquered by the Arabs. I have no idea if the blue eyes they loved to put on their figurines are accurate or embellishments based on an aesthetic ideal.

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id rather see a movie about cain ala conan style

dey look like da joos

Based, Jews are the master race.

The best you can get from looking at a statue is probably seeing some artistic shorthand for what they considered standards of beauty at the time, which probably at least represented some common features. I mostly get a small chin and big nose vibe from what I've seen, but I admittedly don't really know much about Sumer

On the The Royal Standard of Ur, the dudes sort of look like Jeff Bezos

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Ok ok. Make Jason Momoa Enkidu. Pretend he can act

OP here, this is my favorite audiobook recording: youtube.com/watch?v=NsF8WPwY23k I strongly recommend listening to it. AS for reading it, there are a large number of adaptations. I would just recommend the more recent Stephen Mitchell translation or the Benjamin R. Foster version. Some older English versions use a bit more antiquated language and are harder to follow.

You mean the story the jews stole and made their own?

No, you're thinking of Noah's arc

EoG sucks dude.

The stuff about the gay sex or the flood?
Most cultures have a flood story user

The Flood myth is in the epic of Gilgamesh.

>I was kind of hoping people would take this more seriously

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This could work. I can't think of a good actor for Gilgamesh, in the story he is even bigger than Enkidu. You would need someone very tall, muscular, and swarthy.
There are parallels but the Jews monotheism and greater focus on stories about people and not supernatural figures are clearly very different.
>~3000 years old story
>still popular
>A-actually it sucks

Jews only became monotheistic later.

Jews may have started out henotheistic in their very earliest days.

They weren't even henotheistic initially.

Off the top of my head Gilgamesh's BFF dies and our hero gets sad to say the least, he then decides to find how to become immortal or so.
Yeah the trope of "one character dies and that is the motivation of another character" goes back that far.

give mamoa a few months of line reading lessons and set him loose as gilgamesh family

Well, thats debatable.

>talking about sumerians
>no one talks the real truth about them

Here's a red pill

Enki=non jewish people
Enlil=jewish people

Enlil hated us goys but enki loved us since we're his creation. Enlil created his own jews. Ever since Jews have tried to enslave us since enlil thought were just slaves to the annunaki

no

some blonde twunk

Peter Weller as Gilgamesh
Ezra Miller as Enkidu
Tom Waits as Humbaba

How would a movie be made, we don’t even have the full text right?

That hasn't stopped people from making books about it. There are actually some weird discrepancies with different texts. The most famous is that Gilgamesh's friend Enkidu is killed and then Gilgamesh goes on a journey which is in every variant of the tale. But on one tablet for no reason when Gilgamesh gets back Enkidu is alive again.

My ideal version would be an epic film where Enkidu is killed and doesn't come back. At best Gilgamesh contacts him in the shadowy underworld.

Academics have compiled a list of the most ancient gags and the oldest, harking back to 1900BC, is a Sumerian proverb from what is now southern Iraq.

"Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap," goes the joke.

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7536918.stm

No, that's very unlikely. I'm very likely whiter than you are.

Patrick Stewart as Gilgamesh
Ron Pearlman as Enikidu
Emma Watson as the whore