Any kinos about standing up to wipe?

this. also how the hell do people get skidmarks? wipe till clean you animals

they have no ass

Fuck are you me

This is not just your story user, there are others..

You stand up, squeeze your buttocks together really hard to press out the shit from between them, then wipe what comes out. Easy.

im taking a big steamy shit as im monitoring this thread and will wipe standing when im done. convince me why i shouldnt

>The absolute state of standing fags

Eat more fiber user

I wipe standing up. Have always had, will always do. You lean foreward, push your butt out and the rest is common knowledge

fixed for accuracy

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How do you keep the water from splashing after you take a shit?

You misunderstand, I'm a sitfriend. If you thought otherwise because of the blood thing, it's more of a flaw on my part than a qualm with the actual method of Sit-wipe; I just can't seem to get CLEAN enough for MOTHER! Ha ha!

throw a square or two of tissue on the water before dropping your load.

Blood usually
My ass can squeeze so tight i dont even need beta paper. I just stand up the squeeze mid turd. I use the old turd as a plug so I dont shit for another 2 days. It saves on the amount of water i have to get.

youtu.be/Ba8-Vjn2a8c

If you don't own a bidet you're below animal
Imagine if you rubbed dry paper on you instead of taking a shower and thinking that was enough

This

>not using a squatty potty

I shower after every shit. no need for a unitasker like a bidet

the real question is wiping away from or towards?

I hear girls have to wipe away so they don't get poo in their punani.

I work with adults with high level autism. its uch easier to wipe them properly when they are sitting down on the toilet and leaning forward. When they stand up its difficult to wipe their anus as their buttocks tense up and deny entry...the shit smears get expressed out and all mangled up in their ass hair. But if you try to get the guys who want to stand up to try to sit down they spazz out and start hitting themselves.

If you rely on a squirt of water instead of following a pattern of dry - wet - wet and soaped toilet paper, you are less than human.

star low and go up

Just make sure the logs are extra long and slither into the water from your asshole.

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haha how do you poop guys?

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Too time consuming
Whenever I'm staying in a house without one i end up timing when i take a shit together with when I'd want to take a shower and have to do it with the shit lingering stank

For me it's pic related

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if you don't give yourself an enema after every shit you are less than a pajeet

>not doing the half squat
one foot on the floor, other on the toilet bowl

POOP IN PANT - NO DIAPER
THAT'S FUNNY

Mine is not on the list

for me, its 2.

I weigh 452 lbs. I cannot do either.

t. Doesn't know how to use a bitet

4

Manlet

Roll

poopoopeepee haha

Back to front, i dont care its more comfortable and easier to do.

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That's a funny history. According to your diet and the gape hole, shit can still come out even after you whipe. If you add hemorrhoids to the formula, those can shrink and leave a new, undiscovered little turd that got away.

If your have a shitty diet and or hemorrhoids, there are two steps to prevent this, one, wipe normally, proceed to stand up and squat down in the toilet, forcing the undiscovered turds to the open, resume wiping until you are 'clean'.

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Does it twist in the back?

I seriously advise all anons to get one
I bought a cheap one online for like 30 bucks, man what a fucking world of difference it makes

it doesnt matter for males

The only thing that would make this more kino would be if you put the paper over your head into the toilet and flushed.

Pinch from both sides and scrub my anus afterwards

with a resume like that you should be a mod, assuming you get paid for what you do

I'm opposite. Never did a standing wipe until well into my 30's. I like it but it's situational, depends on how big the job was.

Goddamn you nasty

CLEAN IT UP WAGIE

We did not know any other way
Forgive us

Kind of a mid stand, mid sit. Can you actually wipe with your cheeks on the bowl? I don't like my hand entering the inner bowl area.

I alternate. Seems to clean better.
Just don't go too far forward.

Toilet

same but i only realized the right way when watching nocturnal animals

Rolling for 6

Imagine showering 5 times a day, you'd be more soap than man

this

More water more fiber too