28 years old, no job, no girlfriend, AND a virgin?

youtube.com/watch?v=jMZ07cakVIk

33*

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based relentlesslyhandsome poster

>tfw massive crush on my lesbian coworker
shit sucks bros

Hey, at least I'm in college. Gonna start looking for a job soon, probably after May

have severe acne and never leave your room

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I take offense to that, I have a job.

Frakes would unironically make a fantastic Bond villain, even now. He has a kind of mad charisma that would be required to be the kind of dude who wants to take over the world and almost gets there.

I was khv till 23 and now I've been fucked by several teens

Okay, I accept that. I'm sorry. Acne sucks.

In hindsight I missed some really obvious come ons. A girl I hung out with in freshman year ate dinner with me, followed me to my dorm, sat on my bed and took off her shoes and I asked her if she wanted to take turns playing GTA.

>and I asked her if she wanted to take turns playing GTA.

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SAD!

>Ask girl I liked to homecoming
>She said her parents wouldn’t let her go
>I go alone
>I see her dancing with a football Tyrone she went with

>Ask girl to prom
>She says no
>I don’t go
>Turns out she was a lesbian

Crippling autism.

34 here. Am I king wizard of the thread?

Someone please come and kill me so I don't have to do it myself.

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yeah its really eye opening how nobody knows how this shit works. even dermatologists dont really know.

>tfw I turn 28 in 2 days and still a virgin

>only been called by girls twice in my life
>they were both prank calls

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ahem, 29

You're just a creep obsessed with younger girls because you never got any until late in life

Not that guy but that’s obvious for 99.9% of pedo cases

He played the flatulent villian in that Dana Carvey movie, "Master of Disguise".

Sugar and fat you fucking retard. Just don't eat sweets or drink soda. Bonus points for cutting out bread. There you go now you aren't a fat pizzaface faggot. I wish someone would've explained this shit to me.

I’m 25 and make only make $72k. Other than that, I’m a lossless virgin. If you’re not a Chad, you don’t get laid.

see this is the kind of advice you get met with

yeah im sure that will clear severe cysts right up doctor

Why do these threads keep updating to my specific age? Were all incels born in 1991???

Women only want Chad. If you’re not a Chad, you don’t get laid. Simple as that. I’ve learned not to think about it much. I’ll just save money and retire early.

I spent time hanging out on message boards since age 12 and that probably stunted a lot of growth in our generation.

Kissless*

that's what I love about these threads, I get older, they the same

no friends

It will.
>"Why won't my face clear up?"
>continue a shitty diet
>"WHY WONT THESE MAGIC PILLS AND CREAMS WORK?!"

90s babies are approaching their 30s friendless and alone

t.26 year old virgin

NOOOOOOOOOOO YOU CAN'T REPLY TO OFF TOPIC GARBAGE NOOOOOOOO NOT THE HECKING BOARDERINO

me srs, ama

>tfw no lesbian domme gf

I’m 25 and still think about her every day. Be glad you didn’t experience this if you didn’t

>And what about Google logging and recording everything you type onto Google Search?
>Well we Googled it. It's false, it's made up.

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This fucking guy

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when your life has no meaning, getting laid is the least of your worries

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just shut up, holy shit. this is why nobody takes it seriously cause they think a wives tale is all you need.

>If you’re not a Chad, you don’t get laid
5'7 manlet who had terrible acne and a speech impediment. Still got laid. Its not all looks. Be funny, be fun, and most importantly have a chin :^)

Every normal person has that one first love that was lost. Those that don't post on Yas Forums.

that's wide autism

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Whenever I mention how I have arthritis here a bunch of armchair rheumatologists always pop up telling me to change my diet. To use a disgusting woke term, I feel they're "privileged" people who've never had anything much wrong with them to such an extent that they're closed-minded as a result... they consider any more extreme illness or condition a person could be afflicted by the same as any problems that may befall them... that is, easy to counter, avoid, or recover from.

It's infuriating.

>So what do you think? Did little Johnny Poltard really become a right wing mass shooter because he was an angry incelibate seething about all the in shape and more motivated black guys at his school hooking up with white girls while Johnny rushed home every day to drink soda and play video games?
>Well if you said Fiction you are...
>WRONG.
>Those events really did take place. Right wing boys actually are just incelibate losers taking their failures out on society. This is FACT.

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>not getting molested by an older women
lol nerds

>spiner and frakes look just alike

>literally still thinking diet has any correlation to acne

If you get a breakout, you have an allergy to food. Guess what? Not everyone does. Acne is more genetic than not and it's not fixed by "Just don't eat sugar," you idiot.

> I asked her if she wanted to take turns playing GTA.

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>Its not all looks
Except you're not actually ugly, you don't consider yourself ugly and if I said that you are an ugly faggot you'd get offended. Fuck off average looking faggot you don't know pain.

>man who wants to voluntary cut off his penis? Insane right? But true.

when you Americans say how much money you make a year, do you specify gross, or net amount?

To be honest if the girl had a personality that was worth anything she would've played GTA with you like a bro. You dodged a bullet.

>being a dork
that sounds like that type of thing a chad who plays games casually and likes scott pilgrim would say. I'm so aDORKable XD. try being a real social pariah then we'll talk faggot.

>sourgrapes.jpg

always gross because it's more "impressive" than the post-tax amount

>nobody knows why inactive sunlight dodging sleep deprived sugar guzzling grease consuming brainlets who don't regularly use facial scrub and change and wash their pillows and sheets get pimples it's a total mystery

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Bitch said yes I hope

>37

Its all almost over.

gamers are literally worse than Stalin

its even worse with acne cause most people get a little when they're a teen and thats it. and then they think their shitty advice means anything. my parents used to say it would "just go away on its own" and thats all they could ever say. also most people seem to think its actually your fault cause you dont take of yourself.

Why didn't you fuck a hooker yet amigo? What the actual FUCK are you waiting for?

>only people with personalities play video games

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>The greatest science fiction franchises of our generation will all go down in flames by 2020. All of them. It's true. Hell, I help contribute to it for some baffling reason.

>Oh you don't believe me? You'll find out soon enough.

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t. toasty roastoids

Same here

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To be fair to you sometime women really do this shit without even having sex on their brain and then when you make a move you become the campus rapist. Women make us take 100% of the risk and give us no breaks if we fuck up.

>sunlight
>good for skin

another genius

The only real cure to serious acne is accutane. I have it too btw, really annoying and brings down my otherwise decent features. Have to do it, diet didn't improve my condition a whole lot.

t.gamer

He's actually right, though. A lack of sunlight is bad for your skin and even your mental health.

Did she at least play with you?

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Yes.

that's utterly retarded, but not surprising at all. thanks for the answer

>works on my machine :^)

You need vitamin D for good skin

Hookers will just make you feel lonely. It’s a simulated experience that causes more misery. You realize that they hate what they’re doing and probably really fucked up.

>That picture

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>Except you're not actually ugly
True but I'm definitely average
>and if I said that you are an ugly faggot you'd get offended.
Nope. Years of bullying gave me a thick skin. Plus I know Its not true.
>Fuck off average looking faggot you don't know pain.
Not saying I had it the worse than all the anons here but being a poor, short, acne ridden, and with a fucking speech impediment didn't help. I hate my entire ackward teen years with a passion.

For a few minutes yeah.

>proving that you're retarded in one easy step
Congratulations, user.

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I don't want to die without ever having sex.

>For a few minutes
WORTH IT

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ive already been on it over 10 years ago and it solved most of my problems. just another idiot with bad advice decided to chime in.

if you still have problems, just know that everyone has different skin and you're mostly on your own to discover what will work for you.

If she humored you then she actually wanted to fuck. You really did miss your chance, user.

But I did when I was 14

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>but being a poor, short, acne ridden, and with a fucking speech impediment didn't help
Are you me? I also started thinning recently. What's most annoying is that you can tell I have the potential to look good but it's buried under a slew of problems. And I still have the impediment despite trying for hours every day to fix it. Being average alone is a blessing.

damn, never related to one of these so much before

>real cure to serious acne is accutane
This was meAccutane was the shit. Outside of the monthly blood tests it help so much. Can you even still get it? Last I heard it was causing depression or some shit.

You’re all creepy, that’s why women don’t want you

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Oh believe me, I know, I had bad, cysty acne too. I had two big ones on my face, including the first one
>my dentist: you know, he should really get that big swollen red lump looked at
>my mum: he gets bad spots, it'll go away eventually
It went down eventually, but only somewhat, it's still kinda there, a permanent lump on my face. I still get big cysty spots occasionally, but they actually manage to go away. The ones in my teenage years were weirdly more permanent, most on my chest and shoulders. My rheumatologist told me I should take up swimming and I'm hesitant to reveal the mess that is my bare torso to others, no one's seen it for nearly two decades.

I had some cream for regular spots that somehow, despite being a skin cream, really gave me the shits. I think that was before the big ones started popping up. Or not popping, as the case may be, they're far too deep for that.

Acne and arthritis, what a coincidence that I'm an angry old virgin.

>You realize that they hate what they’re doing
Wtf I want a hooker now?

There was this one girl from my class with whom I studied for a course in developmental psychology
At a certain moment we are the only ones in a study room and discuss the "oral developmental stage". She starts about fellatio and links it to regressive behavior. Laugh nervously. She than starts going on about how she likes to receive, but takes more pleasure in giving.
>excuse myself to take a bathroom break
>pants is all wet (visible stain)
>go home, but need to take public transport
>hide stain behind my rugsack
>never talk to the girl again and avoided her like crazy
>Im 31 now

No woman is a permanent lesbian. It's only a phase

>Can you even still get it?
Yes, I'm on it as we speak.
>Last I heard it was causing depression or some shit.
Typical bullshit, everyone & their dog has depression nowadays. I'm already happy my shit's clearing up. What I'm mad about is all the scars that will be left from my acne. Probably have to do at least 2 laser surgeries.
Clear skin is such a common thing it's like having eye lashes, so I dislike having to go through this ordeal.

Honestly, it depends on many things, I've tried cutting out on sugar and coke several times but it had little to no impact on my acne. It wasn't until I graduated from uni and completely gave up on trying to fight acne that my face cleared up and by third year of uni I had actually completely given up and was just drinking coke if I wanted to, was drinking coffee always with sugar and sometimes with milk and etc.

To be fair, I have no fucking clue what caused my acne and what made it ease down, it got only better when I had probably the worst diet of my life during finals in uni.

I don’t have severe acne but I still have acne at 25. My dermatologist is willing to prescribe it if I want, but he always warns me of the problems it might cause. I just have good weeks and bad weeks. It fucking sucks. I have an appointment in two weeks and am thinking of biting the bullet. I’d hate to have to quit beer though.

>I'm definitely average
Thx for proving my point fag. You got laid because you are average, when you are noticeably ugly and you stand out from your peers girls simply don't pick you.
Not in today's world where they get bombarded with hundreds of messages on facebook, insta, tinder etc from normal looking dudes.

>She starts about fellatio and links it to regressive behavior.
>She than starts going on about how she likes to receive, but takes more pleasure in giving.
what a fucking creep