Look, my client already told you isn't the Zodiac. What more could you possibly want? Do you want him to write it down?

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My client is an innocent italian american, who works hard LEGALLY for his money. The chainsaw was a complete accident! Hes a logger! The hammer, he does a bit of maintenance work for a side gig!

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Do Saul defending hitler

Jury, let me paint a picture for you, the police illegally tap an honest banker's phone. On the phone, he calls his lawyer friend- not me! a different lawyer... Patrick then does his classic schtick, the "I ate someones brains" bit. Now police obviously take this JOKE! A bit too seriously. Now yes, some of these people did disappear, but my client and his lawyer friend- again Id like to stress, not me- knew this and were doing a macabre joke! My client is innocent!

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Crashing this plane? Heh who DOESNT want to jump outta plane sometimes, You ever fly American your honor?

Hitler is indefensible.

youtu.be/3vPATdbzXPk

>oh really, because you saw it so it must've happened
>what a load of crap

the delivery on that is amazing

>Let's take it down a notch. 6 million? I don't think so, Your Honor. Hydrogen cyanide gas is extremely explosive.. and those light fixtures aren't even insulated. C'mon. Besides, how did the gas stay behind those wooden doors anyway? And now you want to convict my client of a crime that didn't take place all while retroactively applying criminal laws that didn't exist while this supposed crime was allegedly being committed?

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Based legal experts

reddit tier meme

lol. It's painfully obvious none of you are actual lawyers or know anything about actual law.

You don't say? Faggot.

ok cool

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>Hanging? More like time served and 90 hours community service!

Your honor, may I present to you the official flight plan, a document officially filed with and backed by the CIA nonetheless. It clearly says that only one of them was on the aircraft, one which I may add who was found in the wreckage. Clearly my client is not dead and far too big to be the body found. We must conclude that my client was not a part of this.

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Now look, my client was under the influence of the dark side of some old decrepit wizard guy. Do you think this was some normal tuesday for Anakin Skywalker? No way, no how. No, what really happened is my client, poor Anakin here, while clearly out of his mind and under the influence of some extra-dimensional force mumbo-jumbo, was ATTACKED by these crazed little youngsters.

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>Why would I need to defend an innocent man?

>paradoxical, drawn out, filled with filler and quite frankly boring as fuck

That's why I dropped it around season 2. Did Jimmy go full Saul already?

Excuse me, "killing a defenseless victim"? Are you nuts? My client just had his arm LOPPED OFF by this robotic psychopath. Yes, you heard me right ladies and gentlemen of the court, my client was simply defending himself from this cowardly monster. Some say he went to extreme measures, but do we want a 30 ft tall maniacal arm-cutting robot walking the streets? I don't think so. The facts speak for themselves folks, my client did what needed to be done. And hey, roll that footage back, you can see him going for a gun!
>*cue footage of "NOOOOO OPTIMUS NOOOOOOO"*

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Now slow down! Murder?! Really? Before you go accusing my client of murder, let's get some of the facts straight. My client never killed anyone. He simply put them in, uh, semi-risky situations as a sort of social experiment. The failures from those experiments are all the faults of his victi- test subjects. I mean, when you really think about it your honor, 30 seconds is more than enough time to peel off all the skin from your back and turn out some car keys. Plus, and let's be honest, these guys were a bunch of skin heads! I dunno bout you, but I'm sure as hell not too sad a couple of brown-shirts aren't walking around anymore.

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>Let me take you back a couple of years. Young Adolph, fresh out of the War to End All Wars, is walking down the street, having just got rejected AGAIN by the “most privileged and elite” art schools across the nation. And the little German street-children are grabbing him saying “Furhee, Furhee! Give us some reichs because mommy dearest can’t afford us Black Forest Cake for my birthday!” And as he’s walking he’s thinking, hey, it wasn’t always this way. Germany was great once! The first, hell even the second Reichs! The bobbies could have their cake and eat it too! And so he bumps into a couple of his friends and they start talking — TALKING, that’s all their doing, there IS still a freedom to do that in this country, isn’t there? — and they sat “Hey Adolph, why don’t you run for office?” And when he becomes the Greatest Chancellor this war-torn, reparation-paying, taxed-to-the-nine-hells republic has ever known — VOTED in, by the great DEMOCRATIC people of Germany, I’ll remind you — he gets a little carried away. Is he in charge for caring too much? So he didn’t like a couple people. No one did back then! This is the 1930s, for God’s sake! And listen, I’d rather have him than the Russians.

>Whoa, okay, first of all, ever heard the term "invasion of privacy"? And hey there, let's slow down, "rape" is a very strong word. If you ask me Vegeta seems like he's enjoying it! Who are we to make judgements about what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own, uh, well I mean they're not breaking any laws here.

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>my client was under the influence of the dark side
kek

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waiting for the inevitable bee movie crossover

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Defend him, Saul. You can't. I know you can't do it.

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thanks doc

kek

>You see, my client simply requested the woman to tie up her partner's hands. She was under no obligation to do so, even if a gun was in my client's hands the ultimate choice was hers - live or die?

My client, Mr. Griffith here, has never and will never and COULD never do any possible wrong. He is a beautiful shining god, just look at him. Those men that were serving him were already fine with dying, who cares the exact method of their death? He told them he would choose how and when and the manner of their deaths, that was a verbal contract, and that IS BINDING. Those soldiers got what they deserved, and as for the "rape"? Hahaha well, let's watch the video evidence again, and JUST SEE if any jury would call *that* ehem... *rape*

Requesting a pic of Saul standing in front of Gyp Rosetti. Working on the defense now...

And Qyburn

Based Better Call Saul filtering out the normies.

And Jury, your Honor.... as you can see, that hussy clearly had the hots for my client from the get-go. Calling it rape is a bit of a stretch, you know, among other things.

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"folks, what exactly is my client here guilty of? admiring an eclipse? Do we want to live in a world where we arrest every boy scout and astronomer? and this depiction of a hellscape full of monsters and godhands, what batch of ganja did they get into?

kek

fucking lol

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I don't know why so many hate on the show. I honestly enjoy all the "filler", it's a great show with great characters and a great story.

nope actually i am an experienced lawyer with over 300 cases under my belt. care to try again, son?

Saul can do anything... well not everything. He can not defend Vincent Ambrosio!

Ill take the bait. My brother in law is a lawyer and honestly, I've heard more ridiculous shit that he's told me from some of his cases than isn't half as wacky as the shit posted here. I wonder if you have read any cases at all. Without going into too much detail, there was a story of a lawyer in his firm that successfully defended a transient who was caught jacking off looking into someones sliding glass porch window.

Anyone?

gracias el medico

I really really REALLY like this meme

Season five is full kino so far and actually interesting.

>Paradoxical
I think the only paradoxical part of it is Mike's arc, where they give this whole backstory of him feeling incredibly guilty for the death of his son and being disgusted in himself for being a corrupt cop, and then he proceeds to take part in criminal activities anyway. And his reasoning for scamming and killing Hector is also pretty retarded. It's still kino, though.

DEFEND CHRIS WATTS

Same as Jimmy.

lmao

gratias, medicus

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based

Nice try, I'm an ASL grad, bud.