Lembas!

A lot of Tolkien's elves were fuckups and assholes

Why didn't they just send Legolas to Mt. Doom in a straight line with the ring? He would have just done his usual spinbot arrow turret shenanigans on the way and ended it right there.

How old was Legolas? Aren't elves insanely old

>that shit makes you fat.
Must suck having bad genetics.

Almost 3000 years old.

Maybe if you're a sissy elf or a midget.

A greggs steak bake...
One bite and you won’t want to eat for a week

One small bite will clear the belly of a full grown man

>What did tolkien mean by this?
have sex

I don't want to say they're "mankind 1.0", because mankind was still planned from the start by Iluvatar, but they actually belong in Arda (or Middle-Earth). First and foremost, the world was made for them. Mankind gets to leave it, and no one knows where they go, perhaps to a world that's made for them (Tolkien would perhaps admit christian heaven? Although he'd never be so direct in his material)

In a sense, it's kinda like a birthday party. The elf is the birthday boy, and being anything other than an elf is being one of the guests.

Why didn’t he just put the ring on an arrow and shoot it into the mountain from elf land?

arrow would get corrupted

Lord ov t' norf

Cast it

>Tolkien would perhaps admit christian heaven?
Elves are the ancient israelites. Men are the gentiles.

Why does he say man and not elf

It was Jackson's fault, he really loved elves so he shoved them in places that they shouldn't be.

how do you live that long and not just stop caring?

And if they’re so great how come they didn’t invent black powder and instead lived in half outdoor huts with fuckin leaves everywhere and probably bugs too

Middle Earth tariffs on lembas bread must have been huge to protect the farming industry. Agricultural subsidies could only have gone so far.

The care is inherent to being an elf.
They don't feel like you and I. They don't have this sense of being a "visitor" in the world, they are fully immersed in the world and its fate, the world is much more engaging to them. They can even die of depression if it goes too badly.

The early elves who first traveled westward were known to talk to everything they saw, and it's implied that most things replied back. They have this magic connection with everything, and they taught Ents how to talk.

If they love the earth so much why don’t they dig a little hole and fuck it

Time flows differently for them. 1 year to them probably amounts to 100 for mortals

Why don't you fuck off and stop being an immature faggot

Who farmed it and would royal grants be enough? If it's farmed by frugal elves who already have what they need without the state, then the situation wouldn't be so dire.

seething

>tfw I'm eating bread right now and imagining it being lembas
Yeah, I think I'm based.

Your belly will not be as full.

youre not

One small loan

Attached: 1467657091603.jpg (240x232, 6.67K)

Lembas production is quite low, because iirc it requires literal magic to produce. Galadriel learned how to do it from Melian, back in Doriath, and it's implied only her and a few people can do it in Lothlorien. There is no indication of how much time it takes either.
If it's not magic, then there is definitely a secret involved.

He's a faggot wood elf.

>literally hardtack
based elves tricking those dumb fuck dude weed lmao hobbits.

delicate elvish hands wrote this post

>Galadriel
>cooking
I just don't see it lads.

mutts law

the secret ingredient is Galandriels feet

onions elfboi

It would be very painful

Elves were constantly falling victim to their own egos in ages past.

a grown dwarf

If me, human mortal, slipped my dick in between Galadriel’s heavenly pussy lips while she was sleeping, would she lose her immortality?

What does a baby/child elf look like

Attached: crowe_bff_release_3.jpg (800x600, 69.71K)

like a goblin

read the Silmarillion for plenty of asshole Elves

for you

No, she will die of laughter.

You've seen nothing, boy!

Attached: Sons_of_Feanor.jpg (1068x748, 307.62K)

Galadriel would probably like it desu.

Attached: 1582863406207.jpg (1130x1643, 518.76K)

Did legoman get to go to heaven with frodo and gandalf?

Yes, but he left a few years after the War of the Ring.

him and gimli did a bunch of shit together and then left to the west when gimli got real fucking old.

>ancient israelites
so aryans

So there’s a lembas guild protecting a trade secret to create an artificial monopolistic bread market. Elves confirmed for the real Jews of middle earth

I'd like to see that miniseries

If you read the Silmarillion you learn that most of the retarded & violent elves warred themselves out of existence

Legolamb started an elf colony in the forest between Gondor and Mordor in the domain of Farimer and Eowen's Ithlian or something like that

GIblets started a dwarf colony in the glittering caves behind helms deep

Then they built a boat and sailed down river from Rohan past Gondor out to the sea and then got permission for Giblets o to to Valinor and they sailed west on the straight road