Coworker starts taking about capeshit

Shut up plato ya fuckin nerd

No, it's actually a number, downie.

Pretty much Saul Goodman's origin story.

Oh no

Cope, gayboy. Never reply to my posts again.

>coworkers discussing past relationships
>continue doing my work silently, praying they don't include me
>'haha, so user you got any stories?'
>immediately start sweating
>trying to think of something to say
>they're staring at me, waiting in anticipation
>all of a sudden I get a great idea
>'yeah i gotta story for you...'
>jump out of my chair and punch him as hard as I can
>start jumping up and down profusely
>'BAD TOUCH BAD TOUCH BAD TOUCH'
>start making police siren noises
>run out the office

coworker got fired because i managed to spin it as him bullying an autistic person

I’m saving this

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>coworkers talking about capeshit
>everyone around them takes a mental note that they are unsound

>start talking about science fiction
>spend hours talking about B5 and 90s Star Trek with colleagues
>girl who had an obvious office crush on me suddenly stops being nice to me

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Holy shit user, you might be onto something.

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>boss complaining about packing peanuts
>says environment is fucked and references kaczynski
>I understand the reference
>boss asks if I saw the netflix special too
>say no and say i don't have netflix
>boss becomes visibly nervous

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> coworker talking about how great the time travel was in endgame
> "Alright cya pleb"
> turn 360 degrees
> coworker gives look of confusion
> walk directly into him
> he falls over and spills his water
> continue walking to my desk and sit down
> email from HR about an incident by the water cooler
seems pretty based

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hella based

great if bait

>accidently use the word "capeshit" in conversation
>coworkers look at me funny

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I don't hide my powerlevel, not for movies

Checkmate

Explain...

>office crush
Did she like your spreadsheets?

smart move

Socializing in any capacity is the most normie garbage shit desu.

based and autistpilled

based

based

>trips
>quads replies
what sorcery...

>literally, unironically explain to my parents what an "incel" is just so I can talk to them about Joker
>I'm 37 btw

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Me and my friends were all arguing about what an incel is the other day. My friend who's a virgin insisted he wasn't an incel because he doesn't hate women.

I don't consider my employees "co-workers" since I don't do much of the work.

user, why haven't we ever seen you with a girl?

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I know it's not furry related, but for some reason I see this picture when I try to visualize your story.

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>whenever I see them
Is sHe also multiple people?

Because if you moonwalk on the moon it's just called walking.

Why does your explanation have to go any further than "involuntarily celibate"? Are your parents retarded?

"I pump 'em and dump 'em, co-user".

Wow, we didn't take you for a ladies man user. Can you show us some of these girls you hearthbroke? Or even better, tell us the next time you are about to get one, stud.

ask your sister, mother and brother ;)

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Sorry user but I will have to take this up to HR for sexual harassment. Seems like your NEET days are coming back with a vengeance.

um hello based department?

YO LIL NEWFAG

>Coworker mentions he likes Marvel movies
>I reply they aren't really my thing
>He proceeds to give me a spiel on why I should watch them and then starts retelling the plots of all of them in order for the next hour

Why the fuck do people do this? If I wanted to know the plot of these films id'e go fucking watch them. What baffles me even more is that it's not like the guy has nothing else to talk about, he's an interesting person generally. Just for some reason he felt the need to recount the entire Marvel franchise plot film by fucking film to me for some reason.

this nigga wildin... certified based

only the 0 is a circle, dumbass

Based.
Cringe.

I was thinking about this pic the other day. Whatever happened to you cringe you lose threads?

>coworker starts talking about the fast and furious movies
>I remind him the familia has no chance against Jakob and will inevitably meet their demise
>he starts crying

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he means he did a flip retard

>coworkers discuss new star wars
>they all loved it
>they respect my opinion so much i shit all over it and they still like to hear what i say

I'm literally the Chad of my lab and I'm not even that good looking it's nice having shitty male competition

>classmates start talking about star wars
>suck in and swallow air
>let out extremely loud belch followed by a massive bubbly fart
>pretend to be asleep

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>coworker talks to me about gay shit for months
>one day, refers to himself as the "smoothie snatcher" and makes gun fingers at me
>call him a gay kike
>no longer work there

you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: 'I've been found out.

>last weekend
>be blackout drunk
>add coworker who I think is hot on FB
>end up messaging her random gibberish
>now afraid to be in the halls at work in case I run into her
>spending all day in my office and calling people instead of walking to their office
Fuck me.

pics or it didn't happen

I deleted the message thread out of sheer embarrassment so I wouldn't be able to relive the cringe. Let me see if they have a trash feature.

>coworker starts talking about politics
>quietly nod and pretend to agree

Ive almost done this several times.

>the whole office is talking about how joker was a masterpiece
>months prior they were talking about how endgame was the best movie of all time
>user has developed an introvert personality at work to avoid hearing about capeshit

What the heck

>he's going to watch BLACKED widow
okay i guess