ITT tl/dr us on your country's history

Cow go moo
Portuguese make a fort
Spanish take over
We make a city
Everyone died

We used to be global hegemon, but have been in decline for almost a century.

i hate peoples who are different to me but i hate other greeks more

First century of our existence:
One faggot doesn't like the current faggot in charge, so he deposes him and they have a civil war
Repeat for 50 times
Second century of our existence
US asserts dominance of our country and we fall into irrelevance, also economic crises in the 80 and 90 and unipartidal rule (PRI).

was he actually a faggot?

nothing and then oil

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the fuck? Didn't you get invaded by France and get occupied by England? Why don't they get flak?

>where are the spices Maria João
>the ottomans taxed the shit out of everyone João Maria, we dont have spices now
>...

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First there was a bunch of indios
Then came the incas and raped some of those indios
Then came the spanish and raped the incas and the indios
Then came muh independence and we became a failed state
Then we wrote a constitution but we never stopped making coup attempts and being uncivilized
Then came the "end of history" and we started to pretend we were democratic and civilized
Then came corona and the country got dissolved

talk shit
get hit

we wuz vikings
we wuz empire
we wuz neutral
we wuz الله أكبر

It's just a port.

OP said TL;DR
Also, no, we never got invaded by the eternal anglo, at least not during our independent lifetime.

romanian girls are like meth addicts with bulgarian cocks

VGRIC BVLLS

Funny and accurate summary

>enslave all the people around you
>they actually fight back
>cry on mongolian anime forums about how evil your neighbors are

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We were a bunch of tribes that destroyed Rome, but we only got some sort of country when a guy that was among those initially barbaric tribes decided he's Rome 2.0 and rekt the rest of the tribes. Out of that, an extremely autistic clusterfuck of tiny regions was created, it existed for 1000 years but got smaller and smaller until some other great dude came and united most of the states for his state. Then we started a world war, got rekt, recovered, started another, got rekt, recovered and now we run the EU again, looking for the third time that's the charm.

>enslave

Fuck off Vlad, Hungarians were the only ones defending your shitty country from complete subjugation and assimilation into the ottoman empire. Be grateful.

Return all the copper and land that you stole from us right now, ROMAnians. This is your last warning.

I'm gonna say it

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We wuz kingz then we killed the kingz

we wuz aztecs
spain kills everyone but two tribes
colony nobody cares about
independence war
france and their fucking cakes
america and their fucking minories
they kick idiot santanna
benito juarez dabs on the church
the church brings an austrian prince
france again
benito juarez and porfirio diaz sell our country to america
the first socialist revolution in this continent
obregon sells our country to america again
calles dabs on the church
the church gets all the tizos and indios to fight govt
socialist and neoliberal stuff
war on drugs

NO WTF DON'T
NOOOooOO