I actually just shit my pants

Not the slightest bit surprised it's an American flag.

when I was like 6 while trying to finish a lego racers 2 race

I’ve only been eating grass fed organic chicken and eggs and gold standard whey protein with the occasional organic veggies for carbs

never happened to me.

Thought I shat myself once when I did Salvia but turned out I didn't

A few years ago, I was told to take a business trip, a flight to the USA. I got sick though, like right before the day of departure. I tried to call the trip off, but they told me they couldn't find a replacement and how important it was that I go. So I forced myself on that plane, 14 hour flight. I was absolutely soaked in sweat when I finally arrived in LA and I felt horrible. On the way to the hotel, I suddenly got stomach cramps and knew it was about to get serious. I barely made it into my hotel room and the bathroom, but I didn't reach the toilet in time.

Luckily, I had spare clothes. But still... Not a great experience. And they still sent me to that conference despite me being sick as fuck.

>be me
>go to Walmart for a tin of Skoal and the Mcdonalds inside
>let my 7 children run around unattended while I grab a scooter
>hop in scooter

"Eh, it must have a new seat?"

>realize there was already a puddle of feces in the chair
>too fat to get another one

"I guess it isn't too bad?"

>other scooters are full of homeless people sleeping
>tell them to get a job
Fucking Bernie supporters
>grab dip using EBT
>my kids are now knocking over shelves
>yell at them
>raised blood pressure causes my Crohn's disease to act up (cannot get it treated because I don't qualify for Obamacare)
>release 37 cubic inches of chyme, bile, and rectal mucus releases all over the scooter and floor
>my one kid slips on in and breaks his neck
>his body is twitching on the floor covered in my green and brown intestinal fluids
>Wal-mart workers start doing this:
youtube.com/watch?v=JOkQJm_UGM4

Attached: rembrandt-peale-washington-before-yorktown.jpg (382x470, 60.78K)

>arrive in America
>immediately shit your pants
Welcome, brother

Yes, I felt immediately welcome as well. When I finally felt well enough to have a clear thought as well, I could at least laugh about it for one second until the embarrassment set in. At least it wasn't in a Walmart...

it's what washington envisioned

>all the walmarts are closed so Americans have ro shart in their
pants at home
sad!

did you shart in the mart?

Attached: image:68190.png (327x316, 164.56K)

Salut compatriot!

Not bad, not bad.
And Jesus, that video...

Happened to me once because of food poisoning. It was my mum's fault.

Was this out of Frankfurt in early november of 2016?

...Why do you ask?

I began shitting myself uncontrollably for three days after a lufthansa flight out of Frankfurt at about the same time.

I'd like to hear an answer because you really fucking scare me... Yes, the flight was from Frankfurt. Yes, it was 2016. And you could call it early November, early to mid.

ach ach ach ach ach he did ze pupen in publisch
ach ach ach ach ach ach ach ach ach ach ach

Oh, I'm relieved because I thought we have met and I did something retarded. That sucks, dude. But concerning myself, I was already sick before that. I got sick the day before the flight from Frankfurt to LA, had already felt some signs two or three days earlier. When I stepped on that plane, I was already barely alive. I'm amazed and somewhat proud I managed to reach LA and my hotel in one piece, I was so fucking close to reaching the damn toilet as well...

I hope I didn't infect you in a really weird way... But I doubt it. Seems like a weird coincidence to me.