You wake up in Australia

Why didn't they shoot it?

You can't really stop them. They sort of rove around the streets in gangs.
I'm not even kidding.

jigaboo jones gets his abdomen sliced open, bleeds out, pops for steroids and gets the win by split decision.

Well you guys survived the emus, there should be a way to stop them

Could a man (90-110kg) take on a male kangaroo barehanded?
I'm 168 and 90 kgs but the look on that thing scares me.

Those things basically have knives attached to legs that are thicker than your abdomen.
I wouldn't fuck with it. Just let them take what they want and hope it'll be over quickly

no you would get cut in half

>cut
by what?

By their legs

They have big claws

Sharp things.

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Needs a trim

Imagine getting jabbed by this spikyboi

Either head west and rent a gold claim or head north and ranch cattle.
Basically live the dream with my weirdo down under redneck bongbros.

This is the funniest shit I've seen today

As long as you don't let it grab you i think you have a chance. Being a manlet, you're at disadvantage because you have to get in close to strike it, and you may have trouble reaching its head. if it grabs you though, it's over.

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>you wake up in Australia
i go back to sleep again because Australia isn't real

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Im about the same size and would love to fight this cunt, but i got 35kg on him
What town?

I would have finished knocking the fucker out with follow up punches to the face while its stunned
Wish the webm continued with the ass beating
Fuck KANGZ

You ever seen that video where a reasonably solid dude straight up punches a kangaroo in the head to stop it attacking his dog and the kangaroo just kinda just stares at him unmoved?

Yeanah Id kick the cunt in the face muay thai style

shhh don't enable him, that kangaroo was a small fry to this guy.

we don't want another "american dies fighting roo" headline do we?

My headline would read "US Marine" before 'American' would ever be up
They will bank on my credentials for extra publicity, have no worries
This will be like a big ufc match

Dude, if a kangaroo like this wanted to, if could disembowel you no problem. No matter how Chad you think you are, you're going to lose to this beef boy.

Is it good?

We don't have UFC here.
We have the Thunderdome.

That's where your autistic manlet is showing, when you doubt a Man's intentions. Shows you haven't done shit in your life. Well kiddo I gotta say there's more to fighting/boxing than running in and letting a kangaroo kick you.
There's a thing called situational awareness and a concept of range, as well as a host of primal instincts that kick in with adrenaline that you wouldn't understand. I would beat the fucking shit out of a kangaroo and I wouldn't get hit once, simple as.

question, will you eat the roo afterwards?

Fuck no I'd go eat some seafood
I might drink from its beating heart after I rip it from its knocked out chest with my bare hand though

>That's where your autistic manlet is showing, when you doubt a Man's intentions. Shows you haven't done shit in your life. Well kiddo I gotta say there's more to fighting/boxing than running in and letting a kangaroo kick you.
>There's a thing called situational awareness and a concept of range, as well as a host of primal instincts that kick in with adrenaline that you wouldn't understand. I would beat the fucking shit out of a kangaroo and I wouldn't get hit once, simple as.

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kek

someone needs to make an african burial meme out of this

RooFC soon

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panic for minutes. realise that i am not dead, but worse, in australia. i look for the nearest bruce and begin panicking again. bruce says some shit like 'ay kant, fakin ell khant' and i ask him for directions to the nearest hooch silo and there i sit in the shade with the abbos and reduce IQ to transcendant levels and exist for eternity

Whatever soy boy. Good luck being fucking annihilated by this thing. Kangaroos can kick you so hard, that your bones crush, their claws are sharper than most Australian animals and they have a septic bite.
No fighting technique in the world can save you, other than backing off slowly, and don't attract attention.

I'm sorry pal but there is nothing more manly in all these lands than to beat a roo to a bloody pulp, start a fire from scratch, skin it, degut it with your bare hands and roast it to harness its soul, all within an afternoon

Make sure you get a safety hareness to prevent you from falling off the planet. A lot of people forget this when they travel.

better yet, get a prostitute

i like austranians

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>cat
virgin

shoot him with my conceal carry Glock 9mm

I've done 'pest removal' on the odd big roo and for the most part they just avoid people. You do get the odd one though which is full of testosterone and doesn't get the hint or gives a shit, so I'll bail them up with dogs and finish them off with a rifle or shotgun. The smaller ones around 5'5 or so I've killed with a knife after the dogs are on them but for the most part you're not going to fare well against a full grown, 6ft one as they've got a lot of reach and its all muscle.
Basically at 6'2 and 105kg I don't go out of my way to fist fight them, I'd get my shit kicked in!

Have you never seen a video of someone punching a roo? They ain't all that.

Sorry, a meth-fiend stole your glock while you were sleeping.

Never seen someone take on a big angry red male, desu. They're a lot more territorial than the rest and probably wouldn't back down from a chop across the nose.

Why would you shoot him with a grenade?

Be it tools in your work van or a gun, crackheads will steal anything of worth.

Bruce Lee would. Then he'd eat it.

are they really that big of an epidemic down there?
it's the only way I can be sure he won't hurt anyone else

>are they really that big of an epidemic down there?
You gave Bruce amphetamines and didn't expect things to go wrong?

bend over obviously

between this unit and the webm, how do aussie men even compete??

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Based chad kangaroo

That look in her eyes
You just know

I honestly really hate myself for being able to tell that is a koala from the south half of Australia

curiosity.com/topics/chlamydia-yes-the-sti-has-infected-nearly-every-koala-population-on-earth-curiosity/

Annihilated how? Clearly the kangaroos are too stupid to outright kick your shit in and have much smaller arms than I can reach. You think I can't sidestep an obvious tail-spung double kick coming my way? Think again, kiddo. Catch me in the gym on the speedbags for hours straight. All you hear is THDT-THDT-THDT-THDT ALL DAY because how steady and quick I am. I have a professional record of 37-1-2 and I am not going down to some fucking standup dog. Bet the queen's soiled knickers on it, I'm a champion

>tfw 202 cm
>tfw 127 kg
>tfw 8% bf
>tfw on steroids
>tfw squat 1100

I WOULD BASH A FUCKIN KANGAS GUTS IN CUNT THOSE LITTLE CLAWS COULDNT TEAR THROUGH ALL MY FUCKING ROCK HARD MUSCLE CUNT TRENBOLONE IS A HELL OF A DRUG CUNT FUCKIN