/brit/

The goal

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this

what would he say if he could see old mate's right bollock?

for centuries we believed everything in the universe revolved around the earth, turns out it was all about that man's ballack

youtube.com/watch?v=tTZFqelPIZE

what easter egg should I ask mumzy to get for me

That's the only way to get better. I'm trying to become a better write too. these are just things I've picked up here and there

For me, I read 20th century authors to pick up on some writing fundamentals, and I read 19th century authors when Im in search of good descriptive prose.

For example, Poe is a master at prose. Listen to the alliteration and internal rhyme scheme oof the Oval Portrait (1850)
>since it was already night -- to light the tongues of a tall candelabrum which stood by the head of my bed -- and to throw open far and wide the fringed curtains of black velvet which enveloped the bed itself. I wished all this done that I might resign myself
internal rhyme of the "i": night + light + might + resign + wide
rhyming "ah": tall +candelabrum + far + enveloped + all
"v": velvet + enveloped + fringe +
"t": tall + tongue
>Long -- long I read -- and devoutly, devotedly I gazed. Rapidly and gloriously the hours flew by and the deep midnight came
Glazed + Came
>fervid and burning
"ur" rhyme

He uses the letter "v" a shit ton on purpose.
poestories.com/read/ovalportrait

addicted to cum

How can testiclets like me even compete? it's over bros

/cric/

Fuck sake, I’m sat in the living room with my parents and my mum keeps asking me what I’m laughing about

mankind is evolving before our eyes

never seen anything like it mate
seriously if that were me i'd want it dealt with fucking ages ago
would be shitting myself worrying about rolling over in my sleep and crushing the juice out of it

how carefully do you wank?

Peterson is a pseud puppet who tells white people they are specifically not allowed to have ingroup preference or collectivist thoughts but teaches that it's okay for other races
He's just working for Israel to stop another Hitler

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How do we make “american” have a negative connotation, similar to “Cretin”?

>lads I swear down to you that having a bollock the size and weight of a new born elephant isn't that bad

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imagine billy big bollock getting patted down and searched in an airport

bollock the size of a baby's head
you wouldn't believe it mate

Lads you see that's what 5G does to ya

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youtube.com/watch?v=KlkQsRGAKF8

I reckon I could shag with my right bollock the size of a diet coke can.

My willy is just that large.

Imagine how much the lass would enjoy having massive bollocks getting slapped on her labia

might as well face it you're

>prescription drug addict with a wanton slag of a daughter is saving Western civilisation
KEK

>plums the size of peanuts
IT'S OVER

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got a harmless but unusual physical condition that i could post but it's not as rare or as funny as ballsacklad

I’m gonna do it

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Coronavirus has really exposed who the real wealth creators in society are
not billionaire bankers
not footballers
not self employed bloggers
but nurses, bin men, shop workers, posties, cleaners etc

NO LAD DON'T

"american" is good enough

wait for me to get into my anderson shelter first

what about onlyfans slags
they're making a killing

I've got a massive hydrocele too was meant to have surgery for it but coronas fucked it off

brit bol

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@big bollock lad

does it hurt at all?? if you touch/bump into something??

you don't have the balls

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How will testlets compete?

GET DOWN EVERYBODY GET DOWN IT'S GONNA BLOW

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she wants a man with one huge bollock

Did you explain how it happened in the other thread? So many replies it might have got lost

i don't like what's happening

Had a nightmare the other night that Stephen Graham was trying to kill me

this has turned from comedy to exhibitionism

scrolling tinder
>every fit girl:
>under 6'5" don't bother
>bollocks under 500ml each don't bother

I give up

Howling

mental how the NHS has pushed people to perform surgery on themselves
when will the nurses and doctors pay for this?

6 months of nofap

These are what my bollocks look like

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Wash your penis.

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5G mast near my house

wish i could get (You)'s like this

Nope, only really hurts if i sit down the wrong way

It's literally just a hydrocele that got this big because its not "urgent" then corona came along and fucked up the surgery etc

its scared

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can you hear fluid sloshing about when you walk?

old man bollocks

sorry mate, not big not bothered

Why do brit lads do this?

>only really hurts if i sit down the wrong way
oh my god oh NNHhhh

do you need a testicle support?

Cor I'm well happy to lick up whatever spills out lad yum yum

has miley cyrus ever asked to sit on it for a music video?

check them for cancer

my friend got arrested for chopping his trans gfs balls off and she nearly died

*hears a low thump across the globe*

Dirty gay bastard

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no woman will love you

because we have the cajones

this is what nofap does to you
let it be a lesson

>The size of a diet coke can

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disgusting. I would rather suck the giant one than these

send a pic of it to the sun/daily mail to speed things up and get some real traction

I don't think this one's going to be a spiller, lad.
*puts on protective eyewear*

It’s common knowledge that “Cretin” refers to someone from the Greek isle of Crete, who in ancient times were seen as undesirable by the more influential city states. But this same etymology applies to the word “Lesbian,” which refers to someone from the Greek isle of Lesbos, which was home to Sappho, a poet who became extremely popular due to her writings about homosexuality

Bollocks

brits have huevos

I'm in same boat lad, reckon we could crush these testiclelets under the size of our huge bollocks

Why

lads think about how his other bollock must feel

suppose it just grew so slowly he never got too alarmed at once and then he woke up one day with a fucking bollock the size of a fucking coconut

>you now realise bollockbusting was born out of one man's desire to be rid of his serious medical condition

eating a boost

How's that, lad?

wahey!

one from her ovaries

NEED to see what it looks like in trousers

google.com/search?q=hydrocele surgery&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwiNjM3bm9foAhUOwYUKHe7lCQ0Q2-cCegQIABAA&oq=hydrocele s&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQARgBMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADoECAAQQ1C6gAhY5oIIYOKLCGgAcAB4AIABRogBfZIBATKYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZw&sclient=img&ei=6eqMXs3zBY6ClwTuy6do&bih=754&biw=1536

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just in case

it all makes sense now
bollocklad just really wanted his gigantic nut to be cracked

MOGGED

pissing

Had an ingrown hair for a bit and was shitting myself Billy big bollock is a zen master.

its literally bigger than the bloody can

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The more you know

oh 3 3...

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bollocks too small

SCREAMING

How big can it get if you leave it?

*AAAAAACHOOOO*

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youtube.com/watch?v=ueKdcIhB5UA

this sketch, but big bollocks

Taking requests of items to put next to my bollocks for comparison

They used to have caffeine in them but don’t anymore because it’s not allowed

Awesome pics. Great size. Look thick. Solid. Tight. Keep us all posted on your continued progress with any new progress pics or vid clips. Show us what you got man. Wanna see how freakin' huge, solid, thick and tight you can get. Thanks for the motivation.

>Sappho wrote about homosexuality
Do Yanks really?

fug

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SHITTING HELL

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we're clapping for ar NHS and they're letting this poor sod live with a 5kg bollock

your house

I had a dream last night where I was at the fairground. Maisie was at the strength tester giving the lever an absolute beating. She had this huge, heavy, oversized wooden mallet which she was swinging down with impressive strength. I watched her get really into it, striking harder each time. With every blow the puck got closer and closer to the bell. I was in the crowd cheering her on, imploring her to hit it harder and harder. After a particularly big swing fell just short, we all thought she'd given up. She was panting, and sweat was running down her face and neck. But then she grasped the hammer tightly, and swung it back over her shoulders for a final bash. We began cheering as loud as ever. She stuck out her chest, spread her legs, and breathed in. With a yell she swung the hammer down. But suddenly, in place of the lever, I found myself lying there, stark naked, my cock and balls directly in the impact zone. I screamed as the bell dinged and the hammer pulverised my dick and bollocks into a fine paste.

I woke up with a rock solid erection, my trembling body splattered with cum.

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Can someone link to the previous thread/the posts with the coke can

Does your weewee feel ashamed because it's smaller than the teste?

I have so many questions.

Can you swim with that?

Does it hurt to touch?

Are you not worried?

Is there a size it will stop growing at?

Is there any danger to you long term?

What unexpected problems does it cause

Why are you so calm about it?

how about your other bollock