/brit/

mad that there's so many people in the country that hundreds of people can die per day and you wouldn't even know if you didn't watch the news

>Rumours are circulating that Boris Johnson has passed away. Official announcement expected to be made in the coming hours.

Can we weaponize covid?

what do you reckon would happen if she found out you were on the ol 'der

save it as a jpeg

Boris is going to arise like Jesus and save us.

just got a credit card what shall i get (i won't get it cause credit cards scare me)

She'd probably get a bit upset for a few days until I explained my reasoning.

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As the new PM in wake of the passing of BoJo I am declaring jannies to be illegal and also quite gay

>Rumours are circulating that I am currently in the middle of orchestrating a poo

it would be a great victory for rorke tory bootlickers would proclaim boris a hero for generations

It already was

Considering that the next in line is Dominic Raab who is famous for calling muslims a fifth column and accidentally called for a final solution to them as a problem, I think rorke would cooom buckets.

It already is a weaponised SARS virus

sausage and mash de leds

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just saw gaab gleefully skipping down the street to 10 downing street with a key in his hand wonder what's going on

Haunted by the memory of louis and that furry fucker in the last thread

HOLY FUCKING BASED

dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2730641/Brothers-mad-First-World-War-transform-garden-battlefield-complete-trench-look-tower-sentry-box.html

Fanny flatter than a fookin' pool table

Read an article that The British government is furious with China, can only imagine how pissed Bojo would be right now

We're already well on our way to making him into the new Churchill.

t. Tory party member

Any woman who has a tattoo may as well be selling $1 blowjobs in the Aldi carpark as far as I'm concerned. Vile and grim on every level.

this your final result?

If you look at Heath Ledger without the Joker make-up on, there's not a chance in hell you would be able to tell the Joker was Heath Ledger. Mad.

reckon boris is just faking so he can claim to have survived 'rona after this
just run the PNG through this:
pngquant.org/PNGoo.0.1.1.zip

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When will they learn?

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_deaths_from_the_2019–20_coronavirus_pandemic

just keep refreshing it

pretty sure that was oxfender

Anybody know anyone or knows someone who knows someone irl who has gotten the rona?

Eaxctly

Corr

mental how i wouldn't be able to satisfy her

I'm a basket case.

was so autistic as a child that I got one of these for my birthday then saved up pocket money to buy another (think they were £30-£40 even then).
now they're selling for close to £300, think mum threw out all my lego when we moved house

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Good lads!

>As Boris passed away early this morning, Downing Street records that his final words were, "Fuck Xi Jinping, Taiwan is China."

>in the space of 2 weeks china has supposedly staged a massive corona recovery with only a handful of new cases a day
>has been putting in a bunch of supposed 'aid' for the affected countries
Why can't the little fuckers just take responsibility or at least pretend they're not the good guys?

genuinely freakish looking, the chinese are up to some weird genetic splicing shit arent they

boris becomes a martyr and a far more powerful force than in life

”rorke” is either a nazi or a tory depending on what strawman the poster wants to make

don't like the people wanking themselves off about how great they are for not tweeting about how they want johnson to coof himself to death
it's not that i wish him harm, just don't like that kind of moralizing. great, you don't want a man dead - congratulations. now shut up.

Yeah, my brother was in hospital with it. He has asthma.

I know a guy that has it

or a retard. although that is hardly a strawman

>In April 2018, Raab said in an interview that immigration had "put house prices up by something like 20%" over the past 25 years. The UK Statistics Authority asked Raab to publish the evidence for his claim. A document published by the Ministry of Housing, Communities and Local Government shows that the finding was based on an out-of-date model that had never been intended for this kind of analysis. Raab defended the model and said: "I did indeed say care was needed with the data, and I was right that immigration put average prices up by 20%. We need a balanced approach."

>In July 2010, he secured a review of positive discrimination rules being applied to Foreign and Commonwealth Office work experience schemes, having been contacted by a constituent who had been rejected from the scheme for failing to meet "the social criteria". The two programmes at the organisation barred white males from applying, other than those from low-income backgrounds; Raab argued they re-introduced discrimination 'via the backdoor'. The MP welcomed the review, blaming the situation on the previous Labour government. He stated "positive discrimination is wrong in the same way as negative discrimination. It means people are thinking in terms of social criteria and it is anti-meritocratic
Yep, I'm thinking he's based.

yes, he’s a doctor

This is the Surgeon General of the USA
Say something nice about him

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>didn't even realise uni was on mid-semester break until this morning
ahh yes

millennials on suicide watch

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”leftypol” is either a progressive or a marxist-leninist depending on what strawman the poster wants to make

It becomes increasingly farcical as the US surges past 300k cases but the densely populated China hovers at '80K' for literal weeks

What would your reasoning be? And unless your current gf really sucks you wont be finding anything worth while on tinder

No

>It has been confirmed by a Downing Street spokesperson that Boris Johnson has tragically died in hospital on Sunday night after contracting Covid-19. He was initially thought to be recovering from the virus, but his condition deteriorated rapidly throughout the day and doctors were unable to save him in when he was rushed to intensive care this evening. It is expected that Michael Gove will temporarily take Prime Ministerial duties, and will be making a statement to the press in the next hour.

FUCK LADS IT'S HAPPENING

his kids are not as ugly as your average zebra kid

dave be like
ook eek

he’s getting cucked by a mullato

8.30 in the morning mate cheer up a bit

>and it is anti-meritocratic
>implying meritocracy is a good thing
the term was literally coined in a satire about how shit it would be to live in one and how normal people who get left in the shit and can't even argue back about it because they lack any merit would eventually destroy it

Proofs?

>What would your reasoning be?
I have no friends and no social media outlets and literally just wanted to talk to someone. Mostly true but I was also doing a census of the female population to make sure I got a good one (I did).

probably need the original box and all the pieces in perfect knick etc

need an incel gf pronto
youtube.com/watch?v=QNeC704VlUQ

discrimination is an inherently negative term, positive discrimination is an oxymoron
The tories here would have a field day if faced with something like that, they already banned trans-friendly bathrooms in government buildings

Me on the right

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ook and/or eek

most modern western commies are also extreme progressives

my uncle has diabetes, hes been in hospital for over a week with it

>taoiseach

How does one pronounce this?

Yeah mad how words change meanings over time.

What if I told you not every woman was on tinder?

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it literally refers to the same thing.

Worst affected parts of the world happen to be all the ones with millions of Chinese tourists. Doing a think.

gonna finish off the rum and have a bag of mini cheddars

I have no outlet for meeting them and I've sperged out too much with toil oneitis for anything to come of it. As I grow older the good ones IRL will all be taken as well.

having a wunderbar

bent paki pm

Do you reckon Louis is self isolating right now?

*sniffs ideologically*
youtube.com/watch?v=m7MTxrTzpvQ

bit weird behaviour though mate regardless, keep yourself covered
why no friends? being completely dependant on the missus for social interaction would drive me mad

i wish i could. put off doing work from home so now i've got to do a month's work before wednesday and i can't be bothered

>taking the time to type a 100+ word greentext about Bojo dying that nobody will believe
>or even read

It's been reported by Sky News and Buzzfeed. BBC presumably just waiting for formal proof

'Prime Min-is-ter'

there's no way he can stop touching his face. he's almost certainly going to get the 'rona

bit pissed out ive come back to my parents as it means i cant get twatted every night
probs for the best tbqh

>sky news and buzzfeed
sputtering

aye fair enough

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BREAKING: Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Boris Johnson is prime minister of the united kingdom of great britain and northern ireland - CNN

teasock

Couldn't care less. Hope our uni system withers and dies like a parasite without its host.
Turns out all my high school friends tolerated me at best and didn't bother contacting me after graduation, and for the past few years I've been doing 30 hour weeks at toil while also studying full time which gives me basically no time for anything.

weird how chinese mobile carriers lost 21 million users in march
they just disappeared
totally unrelated to corona of course

Pipe down kid

Link or fuck off m8

There a slight inflections there that don't exist in English and that it would be impossible to convey through text, but "tee-shock" is fairly close.

Who is the backup pm

It's some literally who and not someone based like Rees-Mogg isn't it

Probably sitting in a corner covered in piss and shit because he was too lazy to get up ever again. It's alright though not his fault it was the computer

always kept my lego and airfix in perfect nick as a kid, was weirdly perfectionist (probably OCD on reflection, used to feel physically ill if stuff was broken and would often throw it away if it'd suffered cosmetic damage).
still annoyed how much mum made me throw away to the charity shop when we moved, gave away all my books (including every horrible histories) too

If China disposed of 21 million bodies, there's no way the CIA doesn't know. Though I suppose they'd keep that from the public

He's also Minister for the Union (a title he made up for himself)

Mental how Zizek was even ahead of the sleazecore trend.

haha me
youtube.com/watch?v=QhaRA_daYzs

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just had some peng chicken soup
perfect for a windy sunday night

I think you need to bang harder on his door

two person. First is a girl 20 years old in critical state because of her compromised immune system. Extremly worried about her. You don't even know how bad it is for her.

The second is a dude, 21. he say it's not that bad but it makes his daily life painful. All his flu like symptomes are gone. He only has to deal shorten of breath for a while. His chest hurt when he moves to fast.

oth of them has the same moral, workout while you're not sick and stay home.

>buzzfeed
o i am laffin

i used about shit like this but u didn't really need it did you
hate clutter now

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UH CHINA IS DOING VERY WELL AND RECOVERY AND THE GOVERNMENT DO VERY GOOD JOB BE QUIET

It is Dominic Raab, see:

Any nigwit lad in

The US would/is probably waiting until the crisis de-escalates at home before going after China

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>gf wouldn't finger herself on facetime for me
grim
she's staying at her parents but she'd already stripped anyway

not saying all of them were this but it does seem plausible a few of them were just temporary workers who had two phones and didn't bother renewing their work phone now that they're locked in their home province.
>inb4 t.zhang
just find it interesting how people move around inside china, simple as.

Probably just another sock puppet who sometimes wears a hijab.

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The capital of the US state of ___ _______ is _____ __

bit gay

lol

was thinking of this sketch yesterday

Mogg doesn't want to be PM but cor could you imagine it.

>china apparently only had 3000 Corona deaths
Why do they never make their lies believable?

don't they all use dual sims in china

Mad that Private Pyle was also the Bug from MiB

youtu.be/3rQ-LrmzG3w

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hate clutter too but feel that having all my old lego, airfix and books in a box in the loft wouldn't do any harm and would be pretty useful if I ever ended up having kids of my own.
used to love staying at my gran's and playing with all my uncle's old lego as a kid

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Wife material

I'm good in bed - I can sleep all day !!

Ar Kansas is Littlero Ck

Did a massive clean yesterday and have learned that my desk is, in fact, black. Couldn't tell under all the muesli bar wrappers and empty multivitamin tubes.

I only just realized this recently too.

You know it won an Oscar too? Best make-up.

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maybe theyre not lying and it actually does help to be a dictatorship in times like these and able to control people's movements and behaviour entirely

ah yes, a clothing hanger
skinny bitch should probably put her phone down and eat a meal

>wife material
>that
*smacks yer head*

What if... humanity was the real virus?

yeah good point actually
always played with my uncles old action men when i was younger, now his sons play with them
turns out im a hypocrite

brother works for the argos and they still aint shut because sainsburys own them and are rationing some staff to their stores baka

... SUGAR.