/brit/

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I hate my parents. They should go to hell

are aisha

How do I get an art hoe gf

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need to make a potion with her sweat, pee, glitter make up, vaginal fluid and my semen

meed an arthoe gf

medals

Mental how you posted "is this an art hoe?" numerous times and every time people replied with "no, it's a slag" yet you still insist on calling her an art hoe

Art hoes don't look like that lad, they're a different type of woman

definitely not aisha

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For me it's Azula

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how is that an art hoe?

Stop telling women to get fat

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Greasy grimy art hoe sluts

Back to work tomorrow, I'll give it 3.6 rontgens out of 10

any dominos man in
does this mean if I get it to £30, it immediately goes back down to £15 or does it mean 50% off everything spent after £30 (ie £31 would be £30.50) ??

Need to know - LG x

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For me it’s Emma Watson’s farts.

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Almost spat my coffee out

Tall, skinny, pale, black hair, nice eyes, alternative fashion sense, handsome looking

I just finished reading Angelas Ashes
Irish people were a mistake

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women should get fat

russian gf wears a ribbon in her hair that has my spaff on it, some form of withcraft lads bit mental init

>does this mean if I get it to £30, it immediately goes back down to £15
this
doesn't apply to other deals though

this

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30 down to 15

good post

thinking about dying my hair black
i'm not a goth and i think hair dye is a bit gay but i think it will demonstrate that i'm someone who puts at least a small amount of effort into my appearance (for good or for ill) and therefore not autistic
also it might help me attract a big tiddy goth gf

While I acknowledge your good memory, you should have realised after the second time I posted it that I had no intention of changing my position.

A ketamine diet

I'm now hearing that they aren't Celtic at all, they are Roman people

been wheezing and have had a pain in my lungs and sore throat for the last week. Should i go to the doctors or should i wait for this corona stuff to go away?

its only 50% off your pizzas so if you want sides they'll be the reg price x

t. knower

fuck yanks and fuck leafs

that's actually pretty sick
we got to respect dominos you know
they are quite based

Hate ket
Tears the nozzle to shreds

no

LITERALLY ME

shaved my head on friday and I still haven't swept up the hair off the floor haha

I admire her, she's got her life going on. Look at her wall, she's inspired.

love yanks
love leafs
hate pints
simple as

Stick a plastic bag over your head

was dating a girl that looked a bit like aisha but then she ghosted me a week before christmas haha
silly woman didn't get the christmas presents i bought her haha.....

:(

good idea
also wear pale white makeup, lipstick, and contact lenses that change your eye colour

STAND DOWN

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I thought you said you were a pretty boy not handsome

haha stick some on your bollocks

after 6 years on /brit/, every time I step out into the wider Yas Forums, I absolutely dismantle anyone who dares cross me. I could get 5+ (You)s without even breaking a sweat. this general really is the crucible of banter. the training ground of the elite shitposters.

Had a mate in secondary who did that, some time after he came out as bi and kissed his friend

>tall
is uh 5'10 / 180 cm tall?
>skinny
check
>pale
kind of?
>black hair
Is brown ok
>nice eyes
check
>alt fashion
no I don't know fashion
>handsome
I'd say I'm like 7/10

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ARE BEER RUNS UNETHICAL
seems like unnecessary risk even though I only go shops with mask

wish i was a yank

youtube.com/watch?v=rvQ9DjJNal0

if she straightened up you'd see her face isn't actually that pretty

I have no idea

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Depriving my brain of oxygen for prolonged period of time might have the effect of turning me Irish but I don't see how that's beneficial to anyone

Why didn’t you shave it outside

How are you lads coping without barbers? Wahl clippers came today and shaved #3 all over, look like a right runt.

pizza and alcohol have similar markups

Did you know that since Gen 3 of pokemon there has been an in-game virus that pokemon can catch that helps them grow faster? Your pokemon can catch it if it battles with a wild pokemon that has the virus, then it spreads to your entire team. The chance of catching the virus is ~ 1 in 21,000. It's called the 'pokérus'.

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making pot of peppermint tea
wish i had some weed

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beer isn't an essential item

You sound exactly like me

Why so he can look like the IRA haha

mad how they're literally the most talented people on Earth with a foreign language

im definitely not a member of the LGBT community

are you literally 12 or 13 years old? i know its supposed to be ironic but i honestly cant fathom men into their 20's sitting at a computer, typing this shit, posting it, having a chucle to themselves. it gives me the fear to be honest.

>I'd say I'm like 7/10
so 4/10 then

tomato toemato

yes that’s basic bitch knowledge

i had a haircut just before the lockdown and i don't mind going mophead again since i had long hair for most of my life anyway

I'm just letting it grow because I'm not a vapid deranged narcissist

first bit of sun and the pleb neighbours are filling my garden with bbq smoke

FUCK OFF

>face looks normal, slightly puffy even
>flat tummy tighter than a drum

female fat distribution is a mad ting

The creator of Bionicle had severe brain cancer. He thought about medical nano-bots curing cancers in the future. So, taking inspiration from that, he made Bionical. Bionicles are basically nano-bots fighting evil (cancer) on a planet that is actually part of a living creature infected with that evil.

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wrong

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Anything under 6' is manlet tier, even here.

It's a shame I have to die, the world is just such an interesting place

>WAHL
You get the wireless magic clip, my n-word?

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>3 all over
grim grim grim either get your gf to do you a short back and sides or if you're doing an all over make sure its a #1

she's clearly holding it in

*blasts Ministry of Sound in your direction*

Australian posters are the fucking worst

for alcoholics it is

>is uh 5'10 / 180 cm tall?
lmao

my best performance in a single thread that wasn't a sticky haha

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Whomst'd?

what's up my britbong doppleganger

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I’d say I’m like 4/10 does that make me 1/10?

finna start drinking

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this really says a lot about new zealand's society

is dominos delivering alright? the one near me cant handle a busy saturday night in normal circumstances yet chose to be the only place open for miles in a pandemic where they have to maintain social distancing in the kitchen, can only take phone orders limited to card payments and contact free delivery

haven't ordered anything but i can't see it going well.

did he die of cancer before getting to see the roaring success that Bionicle became (among autistic young boys)?

CRAVEN CONTINENTALS COWERING CONTEMPLATING CHINAMAN CONTAGION

CHINESE
ORIGIN
VIRUS
INITIALLY
DENIED

Here we go kek

really scared for when the mania goes away.

nigger pussy

5'10 is fine for dating girls 5'5 and under
It's only 5'6+ girls I've never had a shot with

Bet there aren't any in /dire/

Did you read the same Angela’s Ashes as me? How the fuck do you come to that conclusion you absolute cunt?

Dman, looks good. I didn't think you knew aBOUT those

Sucked in and tensed like fuck + filters you dire little wog

craven mentioned

>short back and sides
I'd get my flatmate to do that but I don't trust him to layer long on top/short on sides properly. There's a reason barbers go to college

no I got that number from soc rate threads

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can't remember her name, some cosplay thot. I'll dump the handful I have if you wanna reverse image search

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got 58 (you)s in the last thread. more than a sixth of the entire thread was dedicated to replying to me. i am the pied piper and you are all my rats.

yea exactly what I'm thinking
GAY. Still though if I go with a mask I'm still doing way less for the growth of this illness than maureen popping off for her ''essential'' grocery top-ups maskless
Most of the time people are going food shopping it's for unnecessary top ups

Legitimately yes, that's a form of sympathetic magic. She must love you a lot, lucky guy

...

no it actually works the other way round, if you self proclaim anything above 5/10 you remove 3 points and if you self proclaim anything below 5/10 you add 3 points

you're easily a 7/10 you handsome little troublemaker

based

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Hang on lads /ëîrę/ is about to make their bicentennial thread

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you in 3 weeks

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>china won't let other scientists help identify the origin of the wuhan flu
just fucking nuke the chinks at this point

give is a fucking rest dave

had it up to here with you

parents have ordered crates of beer 3 times already since this quarintine happened. delivery drivers are probably pissed

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youtube.com/watch?v=11A3F3bH7AU
youtube.com/watch?v=11A3F3bH7AU

I was restrained with a pillow under my ass so that my legs were tied apart at three locations: ankles, knees, and upper thighs. He also taped my hole apart like in my profile picture.

He started fingering me with zero lube, zero spit etc, I just screamed into the pillow. As the internal "trauma" got worse from the dry fucking I started making some lube naturally, but not much at all. I thought at first it was blood.

He was jerking off and laughing at me as I screamed in pain. After about 15 min of using his fingers to fuck up my hole, he lined up his dick and slowly applied all his force and worked his way in -- probably about a centimeter per 30 seconds --. Tearing / Burning pain.

He didn't take long to get close. I felt him hold still and force it deep and pulsate. I couldn't feel his cum exactly but I could feel his penis pulsate inside me.

He pulled out in one stroke -- which itself was very painful - and got dressed and untied me. He told me to wait till he left the room, then i could get dressed and let myself out.

When I got home my briefs were slightly pink where my hole was touching them. I'm still recovering and my hole still hurts.

Aussie posters are all feminine gimps and freaks that were bullied at school

Unironically

What's all that in revolutionary measures please?

The black man frightens the yank

Don’t believe you still say I’m 4/10
*plays one direction song in my head*

what beer? x

is that meant to be a good thing? you're probably even lower than a 4 then

The facts do indeed prove that england didn't deforest ireland. The irish brain simply cannot process the data

Self identifying as the girl (in one direction songs) is the leading cause of gayness

My parents like Duterte more than they like Trump lmao

Wish I had me an arthoe gf lads

the girl in the OP definitely IS an arthoe

who else would wear black fishnets and DMs with a black top that has a choker attached? She's an art-hoe, end of

rapes should be legalised on people who look like this in public

unironically this

every aussie under ~22 is a yankified chink mutt
grim

mental how there's like 4 billion women on earth and none of them will shag you

Angela's what
>... Prejudice against Frankie's Northern Irish father makes his search for employment in the Republic difficult despite his having fought for the I.R.A.
>Frank McCourt was born in New York City's Brooklyn borough, on 19 August 1930 to Malachy McCourt (1901–1985), who falsely claimed to have been in the IRA during the Irish War of Independence
I'd treat the lying cunt like shit too desu

>that lad is still triggered about losing the deforestation argument
it's been three threads mate, give it a rest lmao

no fresh start for them de lad

This

think i'll move to jamaica lads, meet a qt and live the rastafari life, seems pretty cill

as long as shes not cursing me aye haha

Irish posters are bad but northern irish posters? Abysmal. The worst on the site.

He frightens everyone

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don't like arthoes and I don't understand why anyone does

Based

The type of people that like art hoes are tarq cunts. I’m a slag man myself.

any railway signaller jobs going at the moment? thanks x

It’s idrntified in the book and the movie that his father is a drunk and a liar

heres your art hoe gf mate

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dunno, im trying to avoid it as I'm a recovering alcoholic. some cheap craft beer. like they give you a variety for cheap probably mostly the drinks they can't shift

They've never actually had to deal with them

Emma Watson’s poo tastes delicious.

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often hear stories about people being murdered in Jamaica the moment they leave their gated holiday resort

Example of a northern irish poster. Smell the stench of his dire post.

i didnt make the rules lad x

I run this general. Don't you ever forget it. This general bends to my whims. MY demands. I alone dictate the topic of discussion in this general. /brit/ is an Ulster general and don't you ever forget it.

Government should literally being an advisory out: unnecessary topping up of essential items (food) doesnt count as essential shopping
Old women like my mum will just keep popping off out even though they go plenty of food they could make at home- but that's fine apparently

Is it possible for a yank to learn this ?

5'10: 179
5'6: 168
5'5: 165

Wogs n Irish team up to try and destroy to British-Antipodean Anglo brotherhood
As usual they fail
Me on the left

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don't encourage him mate, I spent all last thread throwing evidence at that retard and he still didn't get it

covid-19 fears the big jock cock

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they look attainable while oozing sexual energy

The worst posters are actually British

You post the greatest load of nonsense

answer your phone michael

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wrong
aussies post nothing but nonsense

poo

especially ones from the home counties

The scousers who larp as irish are worse

Can't post images from my IP range.
Suppose they're trying to get ahead of Easter? posting

I'm a an old school romantic. I like to write poetry and paint and discuss literature.
Only arthoes can reciprocate.

But it’s not even funny nonsense it’s either cringeworthy or reddit or both

>the two english toffs going "yeah mate, you were well smart and so was i" and "yeah mate, we were both really smart and he was just the one who was stupid" after i OBLITERATED them for several threads running. they cannot stop crying because of me. i hold so much power over them.

Theyre whores and easy lays

>who else would wear black fishnets and DMs with a black top that has a choker attached
Literally any normie festival slag, I see normoids do this all the time
There's nothing uniquely art hoe about her fashion at all

I like Osama Bin Laden more than I like Trump

uncle

*answers*

Hello mongseniour reddito

>British-Antipodean Anglo brotherhood
No such thing anymore

crikey
would eat

Just had an outerbody cringe experience at this post

we'll pick up the slack lad
no-fun-allowed jannies need to fuck off

WILLIES

jesus key-ryst have sex incel

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I HATE MY FUCKING PARENTS

why hang around in a thread full of brits then lad

Thats what all the chinks call white people when they get angry
>I FUCK YOUR MOTHER UNCLE YOU HAVE RETARDED

Went to the offies today and all they had was carlsberg

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Screeching

brown hands

Silence mong. Back to your own general. The runt pit of /eire/. Runs once a day when an ir*shman is sober enough to make one.

thing about banning going out for exercise right is that currently the only people flouting the rules are chavs and wogs who don't give a shit anyway

normal people are following the rules. Banning going outside for exercise will only hurt regular law-abiding people, meanwhile the chavs and wogs will continue to not care and just do as they please because they simply do not care

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You made you own thread already stay there yeah?

who is this sperm worm

He's obsessed with us, spends his every waking moment thinking about us.
When he looks in the mirror he sees Olly Cromwell laughing at him.

>jesus key-ryst

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only if you are not obese

you got destroyed though. you didn’t even respond to the guys last post proving the majority of irish population growth wasn’t due to the plantations

If I could post images, what I'd post is this

What an image! Reminds me of this attached image
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Fuck off you parasite

Yeah I just don't understand it. You're probably like my parents. They're not incredibly left-wing people, they're pretty conservative on many things. But because they're both Gen X liberals, something about Trump's coarse rhetoric makes them utterly seethe. They hate his brash crude character more than anything else. Don't think they really care about his policies or his actions. Very Trump Derangement Syndrome

yknow how brits pronounce france like frarrrnce, doesn't that ruin the i see london i see france, i see ___ underpants rhyme?

willard mitt

Because I like this general, doesn’t mean what I said isn’t true. I don’t hate brits.

irishfags are the worst whingers of all. scots are just as bad

for me? its Iesu Grist

>y-you l-lost, n-not me
lmao this little rat is wrapped around my pinky

Before you go to the park today. Ask yourself if your trip to the park is more important than the life of somebody’s mum, or nan, or son... etc etc.

This virus is a silent killer. We all need to avoid unnecessary close contact.

Be safe everyone

we call them underparnts

At least we aren’t the worst posters. Imagine being the worst posters in your own general, truly baffling.

trump has more left wing policies than obama ever did yet lefties seethe because orange man bad black man good

they will when the government fines them 4 weeks of bennies m8

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glad you enjoyed the image my friend

>Poorthern direland

not for northern BVLLS

Alri lachie

just unleashed a silent killer from my bumhole

don’t see scots whining on /brit/ much to be fair but it’s because everyone here knows they have nothing to whine about. they seethe hard in real life

niggling a wiggly