/brit/

computer one if you know all you say you do
why isn't the answer on the screen
do you sleep at night when the program's through
or do you like awake at night like me

Attached: 1542163251169.jpg (321x300, 29.68K)

vlad lenin was a goofball and a silly ass nigger

Ask her what she likes.

Ask her what she likes.

FONC

Why would an under 18 pay rent to their parents?

ask her on a date to the sydney zoo

This but abusing uber eats drivers and restaurants who fuck up my very simple order
Likes in terms of what? Hobbies?

disgusting newcunt

ask her for a picture of her bedroom and take it from here

they are though? issues like whether young people will get a state pension or how to sort out housing are way more important than talking about toxic masculinity

vlad lenin was a silly little bald kike lads

slurpin down some golfball soup

Hobbies, music, food.

kek this is me

Attached: 1564440426905.jpg (1046x1654, 164.66K)

they're the ones who'd plan to live there long enough to worry about it

For me it's feeling the insertion and then quickly loosing sensation once the vagina loosens because a junior doctor circumcised me as practice and totally fucked the nerve endings in my bell end

Just make a bit of small talk and then say you’d much rather talk in person over a coffee or a drink simple as
Only problem is the global situation atm

OI YOU GOT A LOICENSE TO BE MEETING THIS BRUNETTE

absolutely gagging for a wank but saving myself for the gf later. a truly torturous experience lads

Attached: FB_IMG_1584132159096.jpg (720x960, 127.67K)

whatever you do dont let the convo drag on. seal the deal fast and arrange a date.

Never mind lads I don't think she's going to respond to my latest message given I'm a boring cunt
Don't really care about meeting her to be honest, I'm just really lonely and have nobody to talk to. A quick root would also be fine but not looking for a GF.

grim

grimmest post of the day

for me its willy on the gf's feet

snap

kek this is me

What do I win for not getting infected yesterday?

chemtrails are beginning

Attached: 1584176929165.png (713x768, 708.26K)

they call me

big dave

got the ugliest willy in the world, wouldn't wish it on the dirtiest trollop

Guarantee the safety of your v-card for the next 3 years.

:3

what am i looking at champ

Imagine the smell.

Attached: 7B8BFA53-011D-467E-94D4-E4023066C222.jpg (512x512, 33.44K)

peng day
shall spend it cooped up in my room doing toil

'member back when this was just a banter flu?

Attached: ovr7vxwvgpm41.png (640x964, 795.16K)

any of you lads still shagging girls from the 'der?

The chemtrails react with 5g to cause COVID-19
There is no virus

Attached: 1573197807575.png (1920x1080, 3.01M)

Shall once again be risking a $1000 fine by using my public exercise equipment.

what they usually talk about

Toil brought forward two weeks holiday pay for our lockdown.

This is now essentially now my Summer holidays.

Attached: 1585315006909.png (480x261, 311.05K)

Love cats. Used to hate them until I got two of my own and they are still little cunts but i love having them around, just kicking about

how is that legal

still is my life hasnt changed a bit lol

grim

I bet Emma Watson does several stinky farts a day.

Attached: A93EDA2A-2A93-4B97-8357-7A1182A32563.jpg (2000x2400, 475.91K)

British boomer parent culture mate, you wouldn't understand.

They lost all sense of community and family with Thatcher in the 80s and think their high networth is through hard work and not the fact that they just happened to be born at the right time to buy houses.

Despite being the generation of final salary pensions, easy to get jobs and cheap housing they truly believe they are victims of their own success and their children just don't try hard enough.

They then think 'it was hard for me so I must make it hard for you' and charge rent so they can spaff it up the wall.

2.5% payrise for being an essential worker, bringing me up to a whopping £9.94 p/h

cats are absolute banter, you can't force them to like you or care about you whereas dogs are just mindless slaves

wasn't going to read this blogpost but the reddit spacing really convinced me otherwise

my gf

Attached: 1584408657578.png (1672x2844, 3.3M)

perfect post to go along with the redditspacing mate, really had me going there felt like i was right back on /r/ukpolitics. very well crafted

hate cats
hate dogs

cats because my flatmate took one in and it caused to get fleas

dogs because i was chases and biten by one when i was 4

not scared of them just dont like em simple as

>tfw essential worker with no payrise

Attached: 1535397360358.png (225x225, 94.4K)

Fuck off.

they're only friendly cos they're literal retards
insidescience.org/news/rare-human-syndrome-may-explain-why-dogs-are-so-friendly

why does she have dandruff

>nearly a tenner an hour

hello tarquin

It always hurts a bit when tinder girls stop responding

Anyone see that webm posted a few days ago of the cat eating their owner's spilled brains? Some Brazil favela thing. Grim.

I believe it isn't because you must give a months notice before deciding to changed holiday pay around. But these are exceptional circumstances possibly to save lay offs so how would I fight them.

People who 'don't like dogs' because one chased them around when they were a toddler are pathetic

makes you think

Attached: 1563251191954.jpg (1000x1005, 453.67K)

>Tfw 17 an hour

Not great, not terrible

it is dried cum

Attached: 1566796144967.jpg (1200x1697, 225.43K)

Did the man walk in a straight line?

the dog: me
the wall: /brit/

boomers be like
i worked hard for my house to become 10x more expensive

right that makes perfect sense now

tempted to step outside and risk a fine

MASSIVE job interview in 27 minutes lads

wish me luck

Attached: 7Q5jhxbXoZ6oT3cSdeaq.gif (482x386, 2.34M)

Absolute banter to just leave it there.

sister just sent me this

Attached: 1561951206972.jpg (644x903, 359.68K)

>/brit/ isnt the shit
low iq

My friend started browsing this place a few weeks ago and now he keeps messaging me in brit speak like "alri" and randomly adding la to the end of sentences

got called grim in boots

Lads, imagine being within the DeMeo crew. Imagine going to the Gemini Lounge to drink knowing every night you went it may be your last
youtube.com/watch?v=dvvt7EEuzKQ

British people are classy
twitter.com/NoContextHumans/status/1245630432965562369

sounds fun

imagine feeding and picking up the shit up of some animal for company

*cooms*

why would /brit/ be coming out of me?
dumb dickhead

Boomers be like: I want my kids to have a better life than I did

*Millenials and boomers have iPhones and internet etc*

Boomers: :O

knew a big brummie gym lad who was absolutely terrified of dogs, like absolutely terrified, because one chased him was he was a youngun
It was kind of funny at first but more cringey and sad than anything seeing this big muscular lad flinching at the tinniest mutt walking by, dog owners were always bewildered and his excuse was he was really allergic to dogs lmao

youtube.com/watch?v=NMD4tdp6Soo

the dog: the great british public
the shit: /brit/
the wall: australian free time

now this is a post i can get behind

the gf has a big bum but small chebs

not a fan, would prefer the reverse 2bh lads

given the context, I don't think behind is a place you wanna be

Same here. Would prefer if she lost some weight and got some bigger chebs but shan't ever tell her.

>This video contains content from Channel 4, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds.
fuck you too

you underestimate me

Attached: 1567974372076.jpg (2250x4000, 1.15M)

Attached: 1556136274181.webm (1280x720, 1.01M)

my mrs is the same but I am a wind turbine (big fan)

god that show is so shit and cringe

Got 'White and Nerdy' by Weird Al stuck in my head

Attached: 04F4099C-29F6-4D3C-9E9C-7D8BF341AC81.jpg (645x773, 45.77K)

>uni moving our exams that are worth 70% of our grades to a 'take home, online format'
Corrrrrrrrrrr guess who doesn't have to study now lads

>Shenzhen becomes first city in China to ban consumption of cats and dogs

havent showered in a week and me fanny proper reeks of monster munch

FOLC

My cat was pregnant yesterday, today when I got out of bed I saw that she no longer had a big belly, so I went to the garden to see the place where she had given birth and I found the neighbor's cat dead with its head violently destroyed. I guess the neighbor's cat killed the newborn kittens (probably his children) and my cat killed him in a wild way.

Fucking kots.

its cringe comedy, like the office

Attached: sniff.webm (480x360, 952.1K)

FONT

brother is getting his degree in the post
bit grim really

based
already a nation ban on wild animals
wont be long till the cunts stop eating animals that havent been carefully bred over 1000s of years by their betters to specifically be for human consumption

that looks fucking delicious. fucking kill me

thank God for incels or obese women would have to sort their shit out

>user becomes first poster to greentext a headline verbatim from r/worldnews

same but a big fan

ah yes a show that manages to be shit on two continents

This but won't be getting a degree because I haven't done one

/brit/ is the most reddit general on Yas Forums

your age has no bearing on the normalcy of other posters

Think my dad wants to spend as much as he can and laments the idea of leaving anything to his sons
Once my mum mentioned something about 'leaving the kids some money' and he immediately asked 'what money?' (They have money, he wasn't implying there was nothing to give)
As the redditspacing poster said, he seems to think everything he has is from his own 'hard work', which was getting a job through family members and keeping it, and stumbling into owning a house in london on a working class salary
Now he just sits and watches tv all day and a few times a year goes on holiday to a beach resort

>verbatim

Attached: 1585414632001.jpg (1280x720, 131.13K)

what shows do you find funny?

Remember getting into an argument not long ago with some yank mong arguing that eating dogs and cats is the same as eating normal animals like cows and pigs

Pretty sure I have Corona's kiss of death. Seriously though this is fucking awful, I feel like someone has strapped a fucking half tonne of bricks to my test with a belt done up as tight as fucking possible and this is day one, I couldn't even walk down like 6 stairs without feeling like I've jogged 5 kilometers. Legit wouldn't be surprised if I'm dead in like 2 days.

nah moyyyt oim just aallurrrgic

FOBC

Anybody actually prefer smaller breasts?

Like them to be around a B, anything else just makes me think about how they're inevitably going to sag and look unaesthetic.

if your post is longer than 2 lines then I aint reading it
simple as

this man makes millions every year by filming himself eating fast food and no talking
youtube.com/watch?v=JkGx1vojCDM

Lockdown clearly not worth it the cost

under 40s, that live alone, with no history of health issues should be allowed out and about

*straps bricks to your test*

A long time ago I was in London, my friends and I were working for the NHS. We were trying to get food stock for the supermarkets by bribing corona preppers with toilet paper. But the Tesco household aisles were being raided by a boomer. So we went looking for some toilet rolls. But in six weeks, we never found a single pack. One day, I saw a child playing with a roll the size of a PLENTY kitchen maxi. The boomer had been throwing them away.

Attached: 4248282828528.jpg (349x337, 21.18K)

the weak will die first its the natural order

B is the ideal size but only on skinny girls. Gotta move up to a C on chubbier ones or they look disproportionate.

When I was a child I watched a BBC documentary about autism in children and there were a lot of Black children. I was very surprised because until then I thought there were no Blacks in the UK.

Very shocking, probably childhood trauma.

it is the same. the only difference is cultural perspective. the fact you're unable to see this makes calling other people mongs pretty ironic mate.

Still his money even though he gypped his way into getting it

Currently thinking about Emma Watson’s butthole. I wonder what it smells like.

Attached: 632B605C-196E-4AB1-B96D-59F08A5E35E4.png (808x455, 488.08K)

>Gordon Brown calls for global government to tackle coronavirus.

Not a fan

'

Got assailed by some boomer outside co-op. Told me I have to respect the shops one-in-one-out policy.

I'm not so shallow and sexist about it but yeah, I have the same preference

and you're hard at work blogging here

The issue is that old people are too senile and retarded to actually stay inside and practice good hygeine. Went to the shops at 5pm on Monday and NEVER IN MY LIFE have I seen so many fucking old people out doing their daily shops. Retards of the highest order.

>New disclosure reveals Sen. Kelly Loeffler and her husband dumped retail stock and bought shares in a company that manufacturers medical supplies
state

Hate talking to a short girl with big tits. It's impossible to make proper eye contact

uganda be kidding me!!!

Brits have my eternal respect for leaving the EU. You have no idea the bullet your country dodged

It's cringe

>this group that sounds encompassing but is actually just specifically geared to include myself should get preferential treatment
wow, hot take

*enters thread*

Attached: 1567341193843.webm (404x720, 768.46K)

Yeah but his intention seems to be to piss it away however he can, for the sake of getting rid of it

Could we get updates on your progress? Assuming you don't crash and end up in hospital

Attached: 1581545922507.png (327x473, 154.6K)

There’s already an investigation being launched.

alri la

you got any preexisting conditions?

as an under 40 with no health issues that lives alone and misses pubs i have to agree with this sensible post

Seem to remember seeing a post very similar to this around Christmas

brits and irish deserve respect but scots should be shamed

Believe me, I'm going to absolutely spend my last few possible days alive like I did for the rest of my life. Mostly on Yas Forums.

*coughs*

are there many black people in spain