DJT is a Japanese language learning thread for advanced むっつりスケベ共 that are interested in the language, anime, manga, visual novels, light novels and Japanese video games. Japanese speakers learning English are welcome, too.
Hi everyone, yesterday i decided to start translating the new books that came in the 0.11e update to Yume 2kki to practice, and i wanted to ask: is this a good enough translation? Thank you! "Blowing in the wind As my body breaks into little peaces, even though with great pain i'm able to move, any tiny movement ruins me by accident. The imperfections within my body make me unable to know any different kind of lifestyle. Even sill, seeing the process flow Was beautiful, and it made me have a lot of fun"
>good enough translation Not sure, since translations tend to rewrite, and not sure what you wanted to rewrite
>Blowing in the wind I assume you intentionally didn't translate the passive >As my body breaks into little peaces Not sure where that is from >any tiny movement I assume you intentionally translated 動けば・動かされても that way? >me by accident てしまう can mean more than just by accident >any different kind of lifestyle 生き物と接する means something else, once again not sure if you intentionally rewrote it (if no, make sure to not forget the どんな…とも) >sill typo, also とても is (intentionally?) left out
>I've got no clue why it says 過程で and not 過程を because I doubt it's the 動作・作用の行われる時を表す。–で
Asher Torres
>As my body breaks into little peaces Wrong line: >even though with great pain i'm able to move, I guess you got that from せっかく形作られても
Oh and >As my It's not "as", once again not sure if you intentionally translated it that way
Andrew Collins
Thanks! >>Blowing in the wind >I assume you intentionally didn't translate the passive You are right, i overlooked that because of the poem's style; it would be best to translate 風に吹かれて as "Blown by the wind" >>even though with great pain i'm able to move, >I guess you got that from せっかく形作られても Yes! >>any tiny movement >I assume you intentionally translated 動けば・動かされても that way? Yes. I'm not sure as to how accurate that is, though. >>me by accident >てしまう can mean more than just by accident I didn't know that, thanks for expanding what the poem may mean :) >>any different kind of lifestyle >生き物と接する means something else, once again not sure if you intentionally rewrote it (if no, make sure to not forget the どんな…とも) I tries writing the line but was unsure as to how to incorporate them. >>sill >typo, also とても is (intentionally?) left out Indeed, copied and pasted the wrong version of the translation, haha >Oh and >>As my >It's not "as", once again not sure if you intentionally translated it that way Doesn't ゆく indicate movement in that sentence? I'm sorry if i misinterpreted.
Thank you very much user! おやすみなさい
William Young
>within my Once again, I assume that was done because it's a translation? >Yes! (see pic). Also note the passive + ても >Doesn't ゆく indicate movement in that sentence? imabi.net/teikutekuru.htm >When you use ~ていく, you say that at the time the change starts, there will continue to be change from that point onward. >may mean It definitely doesn't mean accidentally here, since it's not た・て form and doesn't make sense in the context >but was unsure as to how to incorporate them. Just go for it
On a sidenote, I would recommend going through imabi.net/tableofcontents.htm , most of your mistakes are grammar stuffs which you probably will start to recognize after reading through once
Once again, thank you. I'll study it deeper, and straighten up what needs to be. 夢を見るの時、花を見てね。ありがとうございましたアノン^^
Jayden Campbell
My body falls to pieces. Try as you might to put them back together into something resembling their original shape, At the slightest movement I make they fall apart again. Even if moved by others, they fall apart again. With this incomplete body of mine, I can expect never to interact with any creature. And yet, seen in this process of flowing, It was beautiful, and joyous
Cameron Walker
Great translation, user! Seems about right :) Thanks
could someone please teach me what she is saying in the green bubble? if 身に付く means "to master/to aquire" i understand it as "it's alright! even if you master it all, it's only 70 gram!" but that doesn't make alot of sense to me
It's this , but we may say 連想する which sounds more colloquial or even say この味はXを思い出させる which is to be translated as "this taste reminds me of X" in literal translation. 関連付ける sounds kind of bit too formal and objective.
