/brit/

risking a non essential journey by public transport

the only good james bond movie is on
for your eyes only

came home one day and my office chairs just fucked. It's like its on a ball bearing or something it just rolls around on a 20 degree angle now

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Was going to get a £4k pay rise but it's been postponed because some gook wanted to fuck a bat

Someone go and cough in a retirement home
I was expecting a comfy 3 month no toil

Is it?

Was going to the USA next month. Now I'm trying to sneak to the end of the street without being snipered.

wanna find love at your mums house

thoughts and prayers

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What part

Office drone worker:

>NO NO YOU CAN'T LAY ME OFF NOOOOO I DID 90 HOURS OF OVERTIME LAST WEEK NOOOOOOO I HAVE A DEGREE IN COMMUNICATIONS I'M IMPORTANT NO NO NO PLEASEEEE!!

Chad supermarket worker:

>Triple pay with unlimited overtime? Don't mind if I do, so glad to be a key worker

wish i had my tv mounted to the wall before all this nonsense

NOOOOOOO NOT THE AIRBNB HOSTERINOS!!! NOT THE HECKIN LANDLORDARINOS!!!

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Pittsburgh

Thread Beat
youtube.com/watch?v=5GL9JoH4Sws

Would a bank really give someone 10 mortgages

Phwoar Hitmonchan's a BEAST
absolutely destroying the team rocket base with it

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Pronounced properly?

time to buy property on the big city, or the big shorty as i’ve taken to calling it

If they're paying off their other ones fine I don't see why not

drinking stellar artwar

I'm the lad that made the burgers for everyone last night and made it way too salty even though ive never done that before and make burgers all the time
they brought it up again so fucked if i can ever do that again
the moment theres any pressure i fail

>it’s summer 2007
>you’re on summer holiday from school
>it’s sunny outside
>you’re playing Runescape
>you’re fishing lobsters at Catherby
>this tune comes on: youtu.be/iPW9AbRMwFU

life is good.

ring ring pussy its lockdown

Orwell predicted this

buy to let innit, they'd rather lend to a boomer with a slightly better credit history for his 35th property than a new family buying for the first time

'pitts-b'ruh'

so fucking bored
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Deeply unhappy in my job, not sure I can go back after this much time off. Might just collect my 80% and fuck off.

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sorry to hear that mate, what matters is you gave it a crack

I've seen this porno before

bruh

>tfw been told to stay open because we're considered key workers
>i work in retail
ah yes im sure everyone is going to need their survival car air fresheners and tyre pumps!

aye thats why I downloaded the gba emulator

Everyone in my house is getting on way more harmoniously even though we are all stuck with each other in the house all day
Just shows what a depressive toil is

actually really need a tire pump now you mention it

its shutdown daddyyyy

twitter.com/jeffers_06/status/1242936229244657665

twitter.com/TOMASDANKENGlNE/status/1243132278307532802

nah because now it will be brought up in the future even if i do come good

dont worry lad this lockdown nonsense is WANK im unironically missing toil

you lads got any regular, relevant funny podcast recs? am low on good things to listen to. ideally would like something that doesn't completely ignore the current sitch but doesn't freak me out by only focusing on it and nothing else.

im a first time buyer and was given a mortgage after 1 phone-call to a bloke at the bank.

hope he catches corona in hospital

who?

what sort of stuff do you like?

Peter Crouch’s podcast

Or

Football Ramble

dont understand why people are praising the NHS as heroes when theyre just doing their normal jobs

meanwhile toilberg is assigning us twice the workload while working from home. toilers are the real heroes

if a boomer wanted it, they'd have it over you

why isn't there any sort of economical retribution against the chinks for infecting millions with their chinky virus

have done the same mate (not exactly the same) and it's still worth keeping on, no point letting them get to you with their cheek - at the end of the day nothing will ever stop you from copping a bit of banter in this country - from anyone. Just gotta cop it on the chin and be glad you tried. And if not the burgers, something else

last few times I've been on it I was the only one on board

reckon im depressed. didn't have any real social interaction in two weeks. the daily drink-with-the-friends skype session clearly doesn't cut it. im going absolutely mental ive never stayed that long in my flat alone. why was i born an extrovert it is killing me

youtube.com/watch?v=WLd-sT2iKzU

A lot of closet racism seeping out regarding the Bugzy Malone accident. Some people just can’t stand to see you young, black and rich. Wishing the talented Brother a speedy recovery. #0116 #BugzyMalone

*nasally zoomer voice*

waah da booomers

blog on you weak minded vermin

fucking kek

alri 190, how you handling the quarantine? hope you've got enough drugs to get you through it

No Such Thing As A Fish

really like athletico mince. guardian footy weekly's comfy. ellis and jon on 5live. quite like no such thing as a fish sometimes. just some nice background with a few laughs is all i'm after really.

>the year is 2012
just turned 14
got grounded by my mum

>the year is 2020
about to turn 21
grounded by boris johnson

what happened

a bit of solidarity wouldn't be unappreciated mate

Opie and Anthony, not exactly relevant though

risky post

ew a zoomer

not enjoying it at all

I was slaying gyaldem left n right n tha with my chirpsin ya no

but mans game is getting crook as now

mans didn’t give a fuck now no gyal but now mans in shutdown mans like thinkin nutin else ya get me?

If you ever were thinking of getting a mortgage the tail end of this crisis is the time

*opens my arms out to you for a cuddle*
*feints your approach and digs your in the cranium with a spinning back fist*
*jump up on the table and starts the chant*
*all the lads join in*
POOFTA CUNT
POOFTA CUNT

been threatened by a white girl
twitter.com/AoifeAri/status/1243130942165843973

doesn't add up mate

have you been outside today

you oppress us gamers for centuries, and yet you come to us in your times of need? no i don’t think so

anyone got the footage of him lying on the ground after the fracas? need a good laugh

[email protected]:ar5enal1
[email protected]:cottage121
[email protected]:monkey03
[email protected]:mountain1
[email protected]:jackman
[email protected]:football1
[email protected]:rainbow
[email protected]:rankine1
[email protected]:moscow64
[email protected]:frankie

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matt and shane's secret podcast

he's in critical condition from a quad bike wreck. he broke quarantine and was riding around London. based

Not life-threatening though, according to police

pack it in

during these trying times the extrovert must learn from the introvert. obviously, when this is all over, the extrovert will take the introvert under his wing.

what are these for lad

MODS MODS MODS

somehow had my email and amazon hacked, lads
have to call the fuzz

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aye just search bugzy malone on twitter

quite obviously email addresses and their cracked passwords lad

mobile.twitter.com/AoifeAri/status/1243134399010529281

why are white women like this now? do they not realise how cringe they are?

I did and can't see the post-crash footage

alri monkey madness

youtu.be/_x6D-t2UZaA

twitter.com/lewismcmullen2/status/1242940596135788545

nah unironically. didnt even see that post above
it makes you think
i did download a porno linked here once

lads..
lads.... oh no lads...
im gonna...
fuck im gonna say it
oh no
no no
here it comes
oh dear no
FUCK CHINA AND ALL CHINESE PEOPLE

im the based sunderland superspreader

Reminder that papa johns now takes amazon pay, have fun lads

who?

I LIKE EM BROWN YELLOW PUERTO RICAN AND HAITIAN

tried to read the latest poleaboo post but it was so boring i couldnt bring myself to finish it

dear oh dear

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starting to think the escort ive been seeing regulary might be a sex slave and ive been texting her pimp this entire time

a literal vassal state

twitter.com/DWindass10/status/1242791865776254977

Day of the chopstick when?

>it’s 2:30am
>you’re coming up from your third pill in a rave
>you feel wavy as fuck now
>the rave is a bubble, it’s own island of hedonistic madness
>bossman plays: youtu.be/9X4iXYqxlPA

life is good.

thetimes.co.uk/article/coronavirus-lockdown-50-best-podcasts-to-listen-to-l886rr5lm

they were putting them on coaches to go all around nsw to all the different supermarkets buying everything out
they used to do it with baby formula too

ty
hope the nigger is in a lot of pain and agony

i'm gonna go out tonight and [redacted] some chinky restaurants

nice one cheers lad x

>Drugs
Just say no

no

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>drugs
just say This post is off-topic.

fucking cringe

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Please don't harm Chinese people

is this 190cockssucked?

nah the fucking lot of you dm me now what’s your ends? wishing death on bugzy yh? calm i’ll pull up w the fucking smoke and see if you’re on it then

>Drugs
Just say the list of drugs you’ve done while partaking in British culture such as raves n tha

the absolute state.

bet ive done more than you. post your list

people like me from the wuhan nation

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panadol
nurofen