/brit/

21 days in india

deluded

poo

I refuse to go back to the old system we had before corona.

Off to shop you want owt?

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Whats wrong with British girls

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not with your diet dude

This crisis is unlike any we've seen before. We're witnessing history unfold in front of our eyes. This is bigger than 9/11 except for everyone and just like 9/11 nothing will be back to the way it was before. Short of WW3 this is also going to be the biggest event of the decade. How are some still not realizing this?

BT is such a shit fucking ISP. That router is a piece of fucking shit and 3rd party ones are even more shit with them.

youtube.com/watch?v=tEXYfT_G0W0

No thanks lad I’m already there

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>mid thirties
>on here
jeysus fucking christ

>Facebook
>Youtube
>non-essential sites

LOL

BT internet on lockdown I'm hearing

lmao they're not going to shut the internet down
it'll just be a bit slower for everyone because everyone's using it

This is the ideal sandwich. The ultimate sandwich if you will.

Bloomer bread
Chicken breast sliced up
Thin rashers of well cooked streaky bacon
Lettuce
Tomato (NICE tomato not pasty/watery)
Mayo
Salt
Plenty of pepper
Dusting of paprika

They are slags that need attention alcohol and sex. Most don't seem to mind working in shops for money though.

If I'd told you 3 weeks ago that we'd all be in lockdown with bannings of public gatherings over 2 you'd have called me deluded but here we are.

took me half a second longer than normal to load the new. it's happening

candy cures corona

fucking state of those aisle names

>21
>has kids and doesn't want more, but wants you to raise them

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any of you lads used hinge?

shut up you fanny pad

>Dusting of paprika
a tasteless red powder used to colour food and nothing else

Just noticed the garlic lol

>meat
Sorry I have a soul and don't condone animal cruelty

She did nothing for the UK other than make us look like a joke and remember, not one member of the public voted for this puppet.

I’m worried because what if this becomes permanent even after the lockdown?

My diet has nothing to do with it

yeah got a few on my doors mate

Anything that's not a sausage and chip sarnie from the chippy is wrong.

for me its midriffs

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just raped a paki

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>noooo

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scromit

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got a BTEC in post-apocalyptic survival so i'll be fine

>sarnie
lmao the only person I've EVER heard use this term in real life was a tarquin

can't stand her stupid face

absolute nonce

Revolting saggers

vile trollop

my norfener dad says sarnie

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Stop this virtual imperialism you horrid britoid

That’s MY bandwidth

>when you had medical experience on your CV already but now literally every dick Tom and Harry will have it on their CV as well because of corona

stellar post

so hungry but not a good idea to leave the house

the women in the background laugh at him but he will be the one surviving this thing

toilberg FUMING his little shitshow isn't essential

For you it's prison for statutory rape

for me, it's ham, cheese and pickle. the perfect combination of smoky ham, with the tangyness of the pickle cutting through the rich creamyness of the cheese.

Can tell you that this response from the government indicates that the lockdowns aren't going away anytime soon.

Which is how they'll justify the banning of "non-essential" websites. It will all be in our "community spirit" to limit bandwidth to only the most essential websites to ensure that our productivity remains at its highest during this crisis.

aberystwyth doesnt have its own server bizarrely enough sorry mate

Get out more, preferably during the outbreak.

Also people who don't properly reply to posts should neck themselves immediately.

got these for a tenner, they're in the post
BASED!

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yeah cause you're a southern fairy and everyone you meet is a tarquin
fuck off

wanking up a storm

fruit/vegetable/salad have no place in a sandwich

Remember when it was just a cold? Feels like only a week ago it was being mocked. Look how quickly it's escalating

can someone pull out the protractor and measure their mandibles?
need to see if they're capable of birthing shaggers or not
thanks x

What website is that? Wanna check it out

I live up north
it's called a butty

why in the fuck would they pull the plug on the internet? That'd a deathblow to the already enfeebled economy

just make a habit to say your posts outloud and you'll bore the virus to death

stew in the oven, jamie hasn't steered my wrong yet

for me, it's the sausage roll sandwich

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old enough to wear a crop top, old enough to be fucked.

lmao literally just only ever SEEN *insert utterly shit and boring story no one cares about* lmao

0.002% mortality rate for people under 35 who are not obese or asthmatic
it's going to be fine

i think its built into google or summet

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got a swelling feeling in my chest and a massive urge to cry but it wont come out is this the pression?

this is fibre unironically

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not to mention giving people less reason to stay inside

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shoved my sausage up your mum's butty

dad (boris johnson) trying to erode my civil liberties again

fuck this i'm gonna listen to metallica

I don’t know if his getup would actually be effective, I think he just has ‘tism

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It is you pathetic worm.

Recently been putting gherkins in sandwiches and it's a real treat

They're not going to pull the plug see

because internet workers aren't essential and may be exposed to the virus

hope you die painfully desu

corr phwoar

Highly doubt Teresa may did actually make this thread

how do i get a gf like this

>average

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your inner bender wanting out

based

is it too early to get on the beers

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So will they. If you're young and healthy chances are you'd have no symptoms and your body just gets over it.

love gherkins
love sauerkraut
love pickles of all kind
simple as

why is your upload so high wtf
also i'm in birmingham

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lmao nobody's going to pull the plug on the internet
you'd have instant riots

>clingfilm
>i.e. it was made earlier and is room-temp or cold
incredibly grim

if they were fresh out the oven it'd be a different story...

It says mine is fast but it’s minuscule compared to yours, I have 14.1 mbps download and 2.67 mbps upload

Why is it so shit

reminder that we tanked the global conomy for a bit of a cold.

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im living in the matrix innit

*enters thread in droplet*

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link la

having a crispy crunch? yes, I think youll find I am

sorry mate

NOO WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE OLD PEOPLE!?!?

*sneezes dramatically in a wide arc in front of me*
AHhhhhH yes

My immune system has been in stellar condition all my life. I'm 29 and have only called into work sick twice. Last time I went to the doctor was when I was 15. I've never been in a hospital. Prime.

based... for me its the cornichon, ham and butter baguette

looks like beer52

Notice how the youngest and stupidest person in the picture is the only one to wear a mask

Army to be Deployed on the 28th

Anyone out after 9PM will be arrested and sent to camps

All infected will be liquidated

*autistic voice*

should he?

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meant for

cytokine storms dude

why do southerners try so hard to be yanks even though yanks howl at them

Not effective at all, gloves are useful but he should have a mask not a paper bag

beer52 is based i got a free one (just pay delivery) from them a while ago although it was weird shitey s korean beers you can't really whinge can you

Who /honoring zyzz/ today?
Quarantine style

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egg fried rice

yes he should be ashamed of his fucking home country for lying and being completely reckless

Literally lads

So I FaceTimed a girl I met whilst on a works holiday yeah

So

I was like haha are you still in contact with anyone you met

She proceeds to tell me she still speaks to a guy she had a road trip with.

Like yeah ok so just get to the part where you shagged him senseless

Literally don’t even care but come on

Do they think we don’t know

Yawn

rotund rodent

He looks like he fucks black guys

It's a mask for the capitalist crisis lad. Locking people indoors is being done to prevent protests and any potential revolution.

finally got my text from boris
shall make a huge difference to my actions no doubt

yeh

god i wish at this point. just get it over with

have more luck on there than the 'der nowadays

i'd rather a higher download than upload so fuck you

Based. Tell you what though never had a pickled egg, seemed a step too far

reminder i was saying this last week

now where's that alarmist mong

only a bugman like that could identify with a consumer good label of origin

R O U N D

had to fix that shit

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You're paying fibre for that? Are you connecting through 20 wifi repeaters?

mong

which part do you reckon all the porn is in?

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That’s gnarly, nice one brotha

Haha little friendzone gimp

is he a bbc? (British born Chinese)

shan't be dabbling in the dark art of the pickled egg, feels like you're eating a homunculus

gagging for an antibody test... i felt faintly shit for a few days near the start and wondering if I've actually had it

>same smile in both pictures
insecurity is CUTE

absolutely wasted today on wanking and Yas Forums
fresh start on the morrow lads.

same.

mysteriously in early feb after going for a nice meal in chinatown me and the GF both had a bad cold.

but that would mean it's been here ages, everyone has had it and everyone's losing their mind over nothing. which can't possibly be true.

Yet these are the people claiming we should be ashamed of the slave trade

Cold sausage rolls are disgusting shit but hot sausage rolls might be the closest thing to tasting heaven.
What gives?

ah, yes, Yas Forums

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>but that would mean it's been here ages, everyone has had it and everyone's losing their mind over nothing. which can't possibly be true.
reality is sometimes just a sick joke

Why are f*male historians so fucking dreadful? Ruin every episode of In Our Time with their drivel.

i love this

VERY NICE user

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why do all northerners talk like they're from the 1950s?

youll do the same tomorrow

youre actually 100% likely to die of corona virus if you can't stomach a cold sosig roll

I've been through 4 Differnet providers, plusnet, sky, bt, virgin all fibre and they all come out at less than 7MBPS per second ive got loads of people to come out and look at it but apparently its because its a new build and everyone else on the street has it too.

I had Sky for about 2 years ish? and was on 300kbps, took me a day to download a movie

Yeah is beer52, if you've never used them you can probably get it even cheaper... they sent me an email with the £10 deal to try get me to subscribe again

Will cancel once this is delivered as it'd be £29 usually... fuck that

No one cares or wants to hear it for the 100th time you little twat

Lel

temperature of fats affects flavour and texture massively

Nice generalisation pal

End of the day friendzone is a mentality not a cause.

My condolences

whoa.. holy fuck

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just had a mini panic attack at the thought of the internet going out
literally wouldnt know what to do wiht myself aha

because we are the last bastion of the british race

felt sick for about 3 days with a coof and tight chest about 2 weeks ago.
was fairly mild illness tho.

queens speech coming soon

standard.co.uk/insider/royalssociety/queen-coronavirus-speech-windsor-castle-tv-a4394846.html

Full steam ahead

wish melvyn wasn't such a raging feminist

why would I "howl" at a southerner
I'm not a dog or wolf

*surreptitiously turns on itv1+1*

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*slow motion zoom in on me laying in my bed covered in my own semen, surrounded by piss bottles*
*record scratch*
Yup, that's me... I guess you're wondering how I ended up in this situation
*rewind effect to me as an innocent child being introduced to Yas Forums*
*teenage dirtbag starts playing*

You dont have porn on a hard drive somewhere?

Honestly im used to it, right now its about 5mbps a second so it takes about 45 minutes to download a 1080 HD movie so its not world-ending, cant even IMAGINE what it must be like to be on 20mbps+

dire

Allison Pearson is a grade a cunt, used to work for a certain newspaper, she goes out all guns blazing in her columns but has her tongue firmly up the editor's arse (metaphorically)

nice to know queenie isn't in. might go into central tomorrow and rob her house as part of my exercise.

*huffs pengolin shit*

mmmmm im high af doods

/r/midriff
/r/croptopgirls

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don't care

should i buy a powerrack and barbell or nah?
would need a bench too and at least 500 lbs worth of plates so would be looking at probably $2000 total (could be done cheaper but best to spend the extra money and get high quality stuff not made in china crap)

or maybe a kettlebell and some other significantly cheaper implements would suffice
really all depends on how long this all lasts

Me when the rozzers catch me outside for the second time in a day

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#OTD in 1922 – McMahon killings: In Belfast, policemen break into the home of a Catholic family and shoot all eight males inside, killing six.

At about 1.00 am on 24 March, gunmen broke into the home of a middle-class Catholic family who lived at 3 Kinnaird Terrace, near the Antrim Road in North Belfast. Publican Owen McMahon lived there with his wife, six sons, his daughter, and his barman, Edward McKinney. The McMahon family had no connection to any paramilitary violence. Owen McMahon was a supporter and personal friend of Joe Devlin, the Irish Parliamentary Party (IPP) Member of Parliament, who rejected Irish republican violence. McMahon was a prosperous businessman, who owned several pubs in Belfast and had at one time been chairman of the Northern Vintners’ Association.

The family was roused from its sleep by the sound of the doors being sledge-hammered down. The intruders tied up the women (including a niece and a servant) in a back room. The men were lined up against a wall, told to say their prayers, and shot. Four died on the spot. The father died six hours later in the Mater Hospital, and one of his sons, Bernard, perished a week later of his wounds. The youngest to die was Thomas, 15 years old.

His younger brother, aged 11, managed to hide under a sofa and escaped the massacre. But what was especially horrifying to the imagination of a child was the thought of the terrified boy crouching in the darkness, listening to the sounds of the shots and the death groans of his family.

So the killing passed into the folklore of Catholic Belfast as an outstanding example of the bestiality of the city’s sectarian hatred with which they had to contend. Fifty years later, the Shankill Road Butcher killings would achieve a similar, ghastly status.

I chuckled at ‘little twat’

That shows actual anger

My days

kill yourself instead

>british race
no such thing

Would recommend downloading TOR now just in case.

If you still can't access the internet through TOR if the blackout goes live, nonces are going to be in for a huge shock.

r/postwall

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743 deaths in italy

>but but they were dropping

literal whippet bothering flapcap wearing nonces

Any /father brown/ man in?

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it's /r/The_Wall actually mate

she cute

We’ll see. No one would take internet censorship lying down. It’s a good way to ensure armed revolt.

WHATEVER YOU SAY

BOOMER

vely rude sah

drink bleach pedo

considering it too, but not worth it given that its only going to be put to use for like 3-4 month before i move back to my flatshare.

the wall is God's most brutal curse

Is your provider giving you a discount or are you paying a standard rate for fibre?

disgusting slug

KNEES UP KNEES UP
DONT GET THE BREEZE UP

Millennials. Aren't. Going. Out. To. The. Pub
We. Are. Too. Old.
That. Is. Gen. Z.

i'm experiencing this dilemma currently, though I'd just get a barbell + 120kg for ~£350

Think i'll just get a ~24kg kettlebell for £50 and do some meme exercises with it

>>>but but they were dropping

well 600 is less than 700 so that's good! We're all fucked

Would buy simple things or do Calisthenics, shit could hit the fan and you might need that 2000

she's not a very nice person
looks bad close up too

we've got our own hablo group so errr wrong

take a guess lmao

Me? My favorite Civ V difficulty? For me it's emperor

delusional fanny

do you guys shake womens hands?

ah so this is the power of slathering your face in mounds of makeup and "skin care" products

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depends on factors. like what is the best gym in your area, how much does it cost, how long does it take to get there.

Anybody else feel kinda cosy about the military getting involved?

This is a fucking nightmare and people don't listen, who cares if squaddies are delivering shit in trucks not fucking about?

I don't.

You lot have the space for this in your house?

it's not for the corona it's for the robbing he plans on doing

and what do you do bruce

Bohoo

yeah cus ive got a bit of a fetish for men in uniform

lifting solution for me is to do pull ups, dips, pushups and to just do garden work which requires carrying concrete slabs about.

dunno what to do with legs though.

is anyone tracking the flu numbers

funny the way southern wogs go from being benders dire posting to full on defence mode the moment you point out how gay and soft they are

miss being able to go to spoons for din dins

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Immortal

The only people who would give a fuck are basement dwellers like us. Normies would REEEEE for a single day then get on with their lives.

People aren't going to go out looting because they can't see what Sandra had for lunch.

would absolutely LOVE it if we had military men outside each block telling us to stay inside or face a prison sentence.

idk im too awkward around women to acknowledge them. but shaking their hands seems off

I have to say I've adapted very well to this work from home programme. Pic related, just cracked open a bottle of red whilst on a conference call.

Cheers!

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had the 'rona in october meself

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>can't buy a new ps2 anymore
shame, wouldn't mind a bit of san andreas or metal gear 3

haha this is me

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a barbell and some weights? Yeah... a power-rack? not at all.

proper kicking myself for not getting a gf
imagine being holed up with your dearest love just kissing and eating peng food and the rest of it.

instead im stuck here with you lot.

you're being a delusional fanny

stop im crying

ALL THE SINGLE LADIES
(all the single ladies)
ALL THE SINGLE LADIES
(all the single ladies)
ALL THE SINGLE LADIES
(all the single ladies)
ALL THE SINGLE LADIES

A little birdy has told me you're not protecting the NHS. Care to explain sunnyshine?

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for me, it's lines on a page.

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there's a flu bug around and people are begging the government to lock them in their homes.

people are mongs when it comes to their rights. a whiff of any kind of security threat and they lose their arsehole.

can you emulate them

the wank material:

r/whiptrax
r/BustyPetite
r/palegirls
r/MyCalvins
r/Mommy_tits
r/BreedingMaterial
r/SlimThick
r/EngorgedVeinyBreasts

For me it’s: The Gourmet Vegan Burger and a bottle of Hooch.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Funny, as have I, and perhaps even more peculiar is your striking resemblance to myself. You’re a handsome fellow indeed, cheers to that!

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Phwoooar

should be arrested

imagine actually being a remainer believing in european solidarity

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as i rock rock rock the rock the rock the microphone

do those pull up bars that go inside a door frame actually work?

might gob in toilbergs face

remember a few people having this tbf. makes you think

hold on let me get my microscope

There's also reports of it circulating in the USA back in August

crime has gone down in the west since the internet because all the niggers are distracted

san andreas is on pc and you can emulate mgs3 on pc or play it on ps3 in the hd collection