/brit/

>sniffles
>aching body and tiredness
>feeling overheated at times
Am i getting the corona?

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Might make chile con carne.

Put aside the rhetoric and got around the negotiating table.

>supervisor was told to self quarantine
>he went to snowdonia yesterday
>now I don't have a job

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Capitalism has failed.

Boy, he doesn't look like he's had much sleep.

As if life would change for anyone browsing this godforsaken board

Get yourself checked drongo.

whats the plan for tomorrow then fellas

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and I'm just like

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you only get tested if you're in need of hospitalisation. if you're not bad enough to be hospitalised, you don't get tested for the 'rona.

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Didn't he say he only got a few hours a night at one point.

OMG JUST VACCINATE ME ALREADY GOV-SENPAI, SHOOT THAT "PURE CHANCE" MERCURY UP MY RECTUM

Working from home, same as today and every day from now on

So with these new "Draconian" measures literally nothing changes for anybody here

made a nice dinner but it filled me with sadness because it meant i ate some of my precious supplies

the spice girls had two absolutely seminal pop albums and to deny thar is to expose yourself as a snob

wah
every ting lock arf
wah
road get lock arf

How many times have you shat yourself in school?
Me?

Twice
Once in Year 1
Once in Year 7

was the cool kid in Primary AND Secondary before each happening but then it all went to shit (if you'll pardon the pun)

retard

That's changed then.

nonce feline lolicon

reckon my life would change somewhat if i died

spice girls are a single band

girls aloud is better

Once but i got away with it

do police even have the power to stop you from visiting other people's houses? the speech seemed to suggest so but it wasn't terribly clear.

are they going to put traffic stops in place and quiz people on where they're going?

u sure?

thats not true I'm feeling slightly more miserable now that i was before

shan't be seeing any toiltights for months

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it's the principle that matters.

Selling my arse for a bag of potatoes or £50 ONO contact on grindr

plans for the next 40,000 years lads?

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>girls aloud? aloud to suck my fooking cock!

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loads of chemtrails today

/brit/ is a top shagger general you must be talking about

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Could've done a good salmond joke here but he's innocent now

when this is over it'll be summer and toiltights will be retired for a while

never once had a shit at school, would always hold it in, even at nursery. poo time is me time.

can confirm. top shagger here.

I find it hilarious when I read about the reaction to the simpsons in the 90s and how Bart was seen as the embodiment of satan because he said "damn" and "eat my shorts"
it must have been such an innocent time

Hard disagree
every track on spice could have been a hit
It was the Thriller of the 1990s

Being locked up inside will give me time to paint my models I suppose.

already planning a long 5 mile walk around back streets and quiet areas

can't even lie on /brit/ anymore because everyone knows I haven't been out pulling every bird in the pub

same. always jealous of those lads who can poo in public

>places in wont watch list

youtube.com/watch?v=kRisfXW4EPA

/brit/ is full of lumpenprole neets and rich cunts who just stay at home

fake lockdown
still got to go to work tomorrow

extremely based

Literally just logged into Yas Forums so that I could come to /brit/ to do a loicence joke, but I see you've beaten me to it

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mad how i'm english

how'd you manage these
giz a bit of a story? we're all home with nothing better to do anyway (albeit I do start work [right we're i'm sitting] in 40 minutes)

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they're like uncultured dogs, we are the sophisticated cat.

>thriller
>not off the wall

oh no no no user how you could get it so wrong?

this is a better song than any spice girls single

youtube.com/watch?v=bBPtP4t2J1k

opinions on this image?

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>logged into
fuck off

Ah yes, Boris Johnson announcing lockdown on national TV. How fake was that?

these days if you say you're english you'll be thrown in jail

stay home
wash hands
stockpile bog roll

repeat

I'm part of the based labour aristodcracy.

good god why is JC Denton so autistic

looking for 2 doomers to start a podcast must be blackpilled and racist

racist bastard

just invite someone round to yours

you're english you'll be thrown in jail

where are you gonna travel when it all blows over?

for me it's azerpengjan

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was like this until i got to uni and then i would shit every single morning in the most remote toilets i could find

yeah. i'm in east london, think i'll take a trip down past the thames into hyde park and back. should take about five hours.

without the lock down i'd probably have just sat on my jacksie all day.

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stay at home
unless you are on the way to work

what?

Year 1 (6 years old) we had a substitute teacher and he was a big scary hairy man and I was too scared to ask him so I just shat. This was like 10.30am too so I made my entire class put up with my STENCH for the full day. I would have gotten away with it too but as my mother was walking home with me she made me turn around completely to change me in the school bathroom so the entire class found out it was me.

Year 7 I shat on a bus. There was a toilet on the bus and I was like "wow I didn't know buses had toilets, I wonder how that works". It doesn't.

Twitter is angry because Boris didn't have someone using sign language for the announcement.

If anyone knocks on your door and says they need to stick their finger up your arse to test for Coronavirus, it’s a scam

I feel so fucking stupid now

*only if you work in a pharmacy, a bank, a post office or a food-selling retailer

hull probably

The enemy of the British working class

Essential work that can't be done from home.

>that one kid who got splashed washing their hands in the toilets then got mentally scarred from everyone teasing them that they piss themselves for the next five years.

just bounced down the tezzies for a bottle of lemo, grabbed six (6) packs of noodles and had three (3) taken off me. truly end times

>Year 7 I shat on a bus. There was a toilet on the bus and I was like "wow I didn't know buses had toilets, I wonder how that works". It doesn't.
dont understand this one. how did you shit yourself if there was a toilet?

So we’re in fucking lockdown, Jesus Christ

And yet I’m still gonna have to go to work every day because I work in a supermarket

You nibbled all over that one m8

south east asia

*continues earning £45,000 a year*

Hey twitter! Here's a sign for you!

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Of fucking course they are.

The scotch effort was hilarious

hello twitter

view from the blackpool tower

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In France you literally need to get permission and carry a piece of paper to go out and about or you get a several hundred Euro on-the-spot fine but yeah loicence XD

just invited someone back to mine for a shag haha

Just the person I needed. I've been in aisle 1 for ages waiting to pay

Don't understand this post.

well I flushed and the water kind of came up to attack me
It kind of left a small pool and the stench filled the entire bus

Didn't really shit my pants but it was still in the shitting oneself area.