/brit/

oh how oh how will i stay indoors for 3 weeks woe is me my brimming social life crumbles before my very eyes

theresa may utterly forgotten about and erased from the history books

redpill me on fife

Clever little edition and evocative of the lifestyle changes we're all facing

What will your 1 (one) daily exercise be lads?
For me? Heavy farmer walks

I'm a police officer. I am going to such a cunt over the next three weeks. God, I can feel the power-rush all ready.

This must be what janny feels like in this thread.

Will dogging still be allowed?

I go to the local shop 4 or 5 times a day to pick up Karpackie

I'VE SERVED TOO MANY MASTERS

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How will UK ever recover from this?

fuck just had a knock at the door from the rozzers
been scheduled for a 2PM exercise slot tomorrow
back no later than 2:45

Lads since only one form of exercise a day is allowed will I be jailed if I walk for a bit when I get tired on my runs.

Grim lads, unthinkably grim

dancing at illegal social gatherings

>*walks outside*
>*does 50 jumping jacks*
>*gets in position to do 50 sit ups*
>"OI WHERES YOUR BLOODY MULTI-EXERCISE LICENSE? YOU'RE ONLY ALLOWED 1 EXERCISE A DAY"

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expecting the same here tomorrow. weekend social media was wall-to-wall videos of people partying and not generally giving a fuck about the safe distance stuff and we had the highest spike in confirmed cases today so its inevitable and pretty much everyone is calling for it atp

Reminder normies asked for this

yeah

how many wanks are gonna be done in these 3 weeks

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runs? more like panty runs when you shit your pants

There's nothing to recover from... how is this even worthy of posting you dumb frog?

I just want to coom in my gf's fanny... please Boris, let me coom...

>give me THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS
>Y-Yes mistress
>OMFG I FUCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH K BYEEE
Like romeo and juliet.

Might buy a BB Rifle and do exert some guerrilla warfare against the police

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Doc Johnson American Bombshell Bunker Buster up my anus

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chicken tikka mashallah

Was just about to ask what's the situation in Ireland haha might emigrate got a Irish Grandma

>he thinks that these quarantine restrictions won't be permanent for ever

hideously strong accents but otherwise pretty sound. Just avoid the villages - they're chav junky central

if you're caught outside with a heartrate belown 90BPM it's to the slammer for a bumming with you.

brexit voters on the ropes

Bunch of jobsworths are unironically trying to convince toilberg that we should be working

massive beer run after toil tomorrow haha

said from the very start that boris johnson had the potential to become one of the "great" prime ministers of british history

Where are the mandem supposed to go? Why doesn't anyone ever think of the mandem?

Imagine the baby boom that will happen in 9 months time.

People locked inside for 3 weeks with fuck all to do.

month into seeing the new gf lads. she's working at home all week, i'm working at home all week. she should be allowed to come to mine for a weekend of booze and shagging right? bojo didn't say no gfs.

Is wanking an exercise

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Only with people from your own household.

imagine not being a doomsday prepper right now

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Was literally going to go to my mate's house in an hour to have a few drinks and smokes, about 8 of us. Are we breaking the law now?

If they don't reopen the pubs I'll cry

so when does exercise stop?

i'm going out for a walk tomorrow that will probably last all day with a bit on lunch in the middle.

Guess everyone's Easter break is fucked, then.

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it's just the flu

>funerals still allowed

Mass deaths expected

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Only allowed if you live in the same house, sorry

emmets need to FUCK OFF and stop bringing corona to cornwall
A30 is rammed with caravans
our 1 (one) hospital with 11 ICU beds for half a million people is already at capacity

emmets fucking

>*do a set of press ups*
>*get ready to do some bench dips*
>*mounted policeman opens your skull with his baton*

Just have to say your going to get groceries

don’t care i’ve got animal crossing

Genuinely ask them are they fucking stupid

So what happens when the quarantine ends on April 13th?

imagine not being a socialist right now

Not a scaredey cat so no I can't imagine.

The preppers were right all along

ok edgelord

Coronababies
Screencap this post to prove it was me that coined this term

yes

This but he's only remembered as Dom's puppet.

>Virus is finally dealt with
>NHS is instantly overwhelmed by millions of pregnant women

how will the guardian paint lockdown as racism?

Will Tim respect the one form of exercise a day rule?

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Most popular daily exercise for brits? Getting bummed.

>he thinks it'll end

oh my days

This isn't a funny post