/brit/

AhhhhHHh you think Ibuprofen is your ally? You merely adopted the Ibuprofen. I was born in it! Molded by it. I didn't see the Calpol until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but SICKLY

shut up bender

anybody got the old 'rona?

What else are you gonna do on a Saturday? Sit in your fuckin' armchair wankin' off to Pop Idols? Then try and avoid your wife's gaze as you struggle to come to terms with your sexless marriage? Then go and spunk your wages on kebabs, fruit machines and brasses? Fuck that for a laugh! I know what I'd rather do. Tottenham away, love it!

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If you read this you're a POOF

Vile!

am 70% sure I had it about two weeks ago

how come older video games on steam are so expensive?
Morrowind and SimCity 4 are like twenty bucks

mental how a single bat shut down the whole planet

got my new tyson fury tshirt on
doing some lifts drinking a bottle or two of white wine

there's money to be made off nostalgia

Mental how the nation asks one (1) thing of it's people, don't have big social gatherings for a few weeks, and people can't even do that

>The patients who died in England were aged between 41 and 94 years old and all had underlying health conditions, according to NHS England.

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starting to think that maybe everyone has overreacted
the economic damage of this panic is probably going to indirectly kill way more people than will die from the disease.

it's time to bring out the semi-automatics

no one “earns” a billion dollars, no one can work a billion times harder than anyone else. there is no good, no ethical, no righteous billionaire. that kind of wealth can only be manifested through the exploitation of the working class. no exceptions.

eat the bat, batty boy

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No but i hope i do ill be spreading it with a vengeance around the office until toilstein comes down and gives toilberg's bollocks a beltering for not shutting up shop for a while or letting us work from home

Not my problem desu.

Oldsters have pushed house prices up creating generation rent, built up a massive pensions deficit and voted for brexit.

Now the boomer remover has arrived they don’t want me to go out? Fuck em.

Frankly death is preferable to not going to the pub. Will be in the local tonight with the lads, shutters up, have to text the landlord to get in.

semoy a'o'ma'ix

GCHQ tracking your location right now

Gonna self quarantine in the pub for 2 weeks lads

Could you be arrested for tweeting this in Britain do you think?

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mental innit
one completely random mutation allowing it to jump species and one random one allowing it to spread between humans

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Reminder:
>Saudi and USA want to crush Russia and Iran to maintain global supremacy
>OPEC falls apart over oil pricing
>Saudi decides to flood market with cheap oil
>This hurts USA, but far less than Russia and Iran, Venezuela, whose economies are completely dependent upon energy exports.
>US can print money to support economy, everyone else gets weaker.
>Virus comes out, forces people to stay inside, screeches economy to a halt.
>Virus is real, but intentionally overblown to scare as many people as possible from going out and buying too much stuff.
>China gets fucked because it's exports ground to a halt
>But China also benefits because Russia is getting cucked.
>Maybe the US, Saudi and China are all in this to cuck Russia. China gets more regional clout, but USA can now justify a shift to domestic production which was politically impossible before virus.
>Saudi gets to starve out its arch-rival Iran by flooding the market with cheap oil

tl;dr virus is real but intentionally overblown to create hysteria to slow down the global economy so US, Saudi and China can reach certain geo-strategic goals.

the logic of pub closures leads inexorably to closing all the shops too

blog on

How many 41 year olds

If they know the bosses number they can come in for a jar. There is literally no point to life without socialising.

Corona is calming down already
Toilberg is screeching. Haven't had a chance to self isolate

*chair clattering*

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no because pubs require sustained close contact between people

>u rill eat bat, u rill cat, u rill eat rat

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t. deus ex npc

what if I caught corona and accidentally travelled to a heavily paki area in Birmingham and touched everything?

from last week

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*hoarse whisper*
riders on the stooooorm
riders on the stooooorm

But China and Russia are two of the most positive looking economies in what is already being called a global recession. So it's not working too well, is it?

utter tune

Mate have you tried drinking in the bedroom while watching peter hitchens on youtube

New ice cream van around the village playing some absolute CHOONS

So what happens when people stop getting ill from coronavirus and there are no new cases? Won’t we still carry the virus and it’ll rear its ugly head again in a few months or years? We’re fucked lads.

Going to the shops to get your groceries is essential, going to the pub isn't

the final coronavirus boss

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Poor peter, he's not having a great time of it lately.

He even does a shake afterwards lol.

yes
that's what happened with spanish flu

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russia is a positive looking economy..?

by masterminding the invention, design, manufacture, and distribution of a product that serves tens or hundreds of millions of people, a person can be millions of times more effective in their contribution to society than a person who makes a relatively minor contribution to the above process
every transaction and contract in the entire process is voluntary for all parties concerned

Got back from Maccers

/ourguy/

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>going to the pub isn't
It is though.

ant and decs about to start on the itv

that's a big bat

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>Won’t we still carry the virus and it’ll rear its ugly head again in a few months or years?
That is indeed entirely possible. The whole nature of human society may have to change.

*literally gives you coronavirus*

wahey

pakis are immune what with their burkas and their turbans covering their face and ritual purity 5 times a day

How so havent been keeping up

Paulo Dybala has coronavirus

Looks like a travelling companion from a videogame or something. Would like to befriend it desu

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thats the second bat ive seen pissing today alone

In terms of the current crisis? Yes. One of the least affected in the world.

>there is literally no point to life without socialising

can't even go a weekend without socialising

hope you know youve got blood on your hands lol

Haha yes the "I like going to the pub is my personality" guy very epic and original lad

doo mudge habbedings

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>china bad
>iran bad

lol
should'be come to england son

Work As a chef in a care home, literally have to wear a mask atm even when making soup

watching freaks and geeks (1999) instead

A pilot on a cold, cold morn'
One-hundred fifty-five people on board
All safe and all rescued
From the slowly sinking ship

gay

Alri chairman

it's PC gone mad
also
>Work As a chef in a care home
I imagine this is as grim as I'm imagining?

spot on chairman

jog on you bat munching bear cartoon

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REAL HUMAN BEAN

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following lei fengs example

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yes
no

>I imagine this is as grim as I'm imagining?
i fucked that sentence right up didn't i

rooms a bit messy lads

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The people still going to the royal parks in London are fucking idiots. I don’t care if your mental health is suffering because you can’t go outside. Don’t go to a busy park.

did da weed man do the laugh?

china bad
iran based

simple as

haha yes, the sit in spunk stained underwear in a room in mummy's house and don't have a personality guy.... Epic and wrist slicey.

I'd share a bat with lei feng

Why does it matter if they close the bars? I’m gonna get mates around mine to have some beers and weed.
>I imagine this is as grim as I'm imagining?
Not really, a lot of our residents are able to eat solid food so we cook decent meals, those with special diets for people with swallowing problems do have to eat grim food However because they would literally choke on anything but mush

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Things Brits will never experience:

4th of July
Hotdogs and fireworks
Shooting guns
Squirrels
Birds chirping in the morning
Saying the word penguin the correct way
School field trips to historic locations that are not fun, except with your friends only
Real Summer School
Internet before 2010
Grandma’s Apple Pie
Grandparents with war stories about Japan
Old cars in the backyard
Hoods and gangs, black people at school
Pro wrestling
Thanksgiving
Pumpkin Pie
Beer can chicken

Tucker was right
China is an enemy of the West

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ate a very very big tea and now have a bit of a bellyache
barely have space in the belly for my pint
it was slow cooked sausages in honey and mustard sauce with mash btw

Meant for

jews are the enemy of mankind

So what you're saying is there are effectively no negatives?

I like the pub as much as the next guy I just can handle not going for a few weeks and don't use it as a crutch for an otherwise hollow personality

thanks for the (You) but I've lost interest now mate

This but unironically

What's up you black batstard

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twitter isnt real life
saddos

'magine being one of those kids who have to go into school because your mum's a nurse. only worth it if the girl you fancied was there too

haha

twitter.com/housephone310/status/1241412653823569925

parkour

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size of that cunt

BRING ME A HIGHER LOVE

they are allies, lol
dw.com/en/china-russia-iran-begin-joint-naval-drills/a-51807634

Socialising is the purpose of human life, without it you are merely existing. It would be better if mankind went extinct than stopped socialising for even an hour. We will not be stopping, if it causes human extinction it's because it is our time.

rate boris' handwriting

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they're called like the doors cause they like take you to like another place maaaaaaan

OMG SO TRUE YOURE LIKE A LITERAL GENIUS *gush*

We have all of this in the uk except guns and pumpkin pie

any torquay man in?

>1035 more cases in the UK
we're fucked

Becoming more and more in favor of nationalizing various industries, including social media, by the day.

I unironically have both.

fat people should be ashamed of themselves and also killed en masse

I don't care if Monday's black
Tuesday, Wednesday heart attack
Thursday never looking back
It's Friday I'm in love

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>all the blacks run away
>the white guy goes to check on him
kino

there's probably over a million by now but they're only testing people admitted to hospital

Guns? Northern Ireland?

>doesn't write in italics

they should do checks down the pub.

Yes. No.

The Phantom Pain had a superb soundtrack
youtube.com/watch?v=zuuObGsB0No&list=PLTjCypZYXgeUgPab_lPTwZaZIeje7NkOD&index=5

All in here

this but irish

imagine the mix up
landlord, ill have a corona
the drink or the disease!?

aha

not true they were named after that aldous huxley book

some cunt keeps posting johnny cash songs

its me

im the cunt

youtube.com/watch?v=xEx147n9G1A

Both China and Trump lied

love the thick mongs on the 'chon who say they like syria (a socialist country) and iran but hate cuba, korea, china, vietnam, laos, venezuela etc despite being allied countries

italy's death rate keeps jumping by 200 a day
it's going to be 5000 a day by the end of next week

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mental how he shakes his knob just like we do

Oh? Cause I was being dead serious.

If Mosley is the eternal Anglo, who is the eternal Hibernian, Cambrian and Caledonian?

same

had all of these except apple pie and pumpkin pie, sweet pies are an abomination

also 4th of july, but we have bonfire night which is better

how long before the internet/power starts going down?

I thought only I shivered after taking a piss

30 minutes

Mad