/brit/

just cued aliens 3
seemed apropos during these times ngl

Anyone have that site that shows how many cases on the map

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thought toiling from work would be the dream, turns out it's a nightmare

>hought toiling from work would be the dream
?

yeah

ahh yes the mumsnet brigades are posting shit on facebook
boring
*click*

this shit is going to mutate itself to irrelevancy just like SARS and MERS did before

ya

ugh ruuuuh CORONA virus!!!
can’t we talk about something else?

What kind of fucking job do you do? I've been sent to toil from work and I just sit and wait for emails to answer

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how's yer mum these days la

As long as the supermarkets stay open and the weed men keep shottin, think I'll get through all this alright.
Might even follow up with my movie script idea.

not before the government has had its way with the trusting idiots who think governments are less dangerous than a glorified flu

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I agree
slag time

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literally gonna talk to my mum about quitting my supermarket job

Today's haul;

Peanut butter x3
Soy sauce x2
Siracha mayo x2
Sourdough bread x2
V energy drink x6
Sugar x2

Fuck sake if I can’t even go out anymore I at least want to be able to smoke, weedman needs to reply

imagine how sweaty she must get

the scran

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who are the NCP

Can read fuck all

was just thinking the same ngl

bit of a shit arse

haha yeah would that be gross haha

you can go out as much as you like mate, what's stopping you?

>supermarkets are mass hiring right now so they can freely sack staff who get sick

You can't ban British men from the pub. It ain't right.

Got the last 8ball from mine. These could be the end days.

that's honestly my favourite alien film
not sure why it got panned

Uganda be kiddin me

Bump/test

It's the National Child Pedo group. A group of pedos

uh oh

i.4cdn.org/pol/1584730105315.png

nobody's stopping you from going outside

Apologies, I forgot to state that when I say go out I mean go out to the pub/clubs

BOSH BOSH SUMS OF MONEY
DOSH
BOSH BOSH SUMS OF MONEY
DOSH

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New Caprica Police they collaborated with the Cylons

why don't you read a book you fucking degenerate

Self isolation is a meme

surely the weed supply won’t be disrupted? I imagine most of the UKs weed is grown here?

Bloody ‘ell

oh yeah loads of them have closed eh

Show me your penis.

explain

mass hiring.... good time to train new staff

The CHAD social distancer vs the VIRGIN self-isolator

so who is the corona puppetmaster? China? USA? or a higher power?

the streets here doing good as always. cant tell there is a virus or lockdown, the dope dealers are still out like nothing.

hopefully the coronavirus will bring more awareness of us socially (and sexually) disadvantaged individuals who live on coronavirus hours even when there is no coronavirus

normies ugh
innit
they needed HAPPY ending, but we understand Ripley had to [spoiler]die[/spoiler] innit

Yes daddy

(((Who))) else?

THE *CLAP* ROMANS *CLAP* WERE *CLAP* NOT *CLAP* WHITE

Its been fine so far, but my man said that people have been panic buying

Real death numbers from dead peoples phone contracts being cancelled

starting to think these tiny house people aren't crazy after all

Why has it stopped in Japan?

the memes were a meme

is that even legal

means we're fucked

Ah makes sense, I expect things like coke will become pretty hard to get hold of soon though

The preppers were right all along

*fucks a kid right in front of you*

It's just our culture, mate, why don't you mind your own business? What about all the paedophiles in your own country, why are you focussing on us you racist?

Gonna build myself a castle
High up in the clouds

just done a sweep of my inner anal ring with the side of my index finger

Isn't it curious how the term "self-isolation" didn't exist 2 months ago, now it's everywhere?

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the same people control china and the usa
international bankers and globalist elites
bilderberg for example

Yes I was.

Bint at work was really ill yesterday, coughing and sneezing constantly. She called in sick today but we’ve probably all got the rona now, dumbass

because japan is the most autistic nation on earth who have practiced social distancing for years

they are always wearing masks, don't suffer from a lot of the health conditions that exacerbate it, etc

Wanking

What books you lot reading then?

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Why is it curious theres a clear cause lol

We are all ingesting chemicals that mess with human hormones, and in the last forty years sperm counts around the world have dropped by 50 per cent. If this trend continues, it’s possible that humans will be incapable of unassisted reproduction within decades.

/brit/ guide to surviving Corona Virus

Companies can sack you in this country for virtually no reason if you're within the first two years of employment with said company

Lovely little robin is it ok

Some lad tracked chinese mobile users over time to try to gauge real china numbers since everyone on china uses this one state-run service 'AliPay' to pay for things. If the subscription isn't paid then the service stops

the numbers of subscribers are publicly available online

despite month on month, year on year growth going all the way back in time the number suddenly nose dives at the beginning of this year... by several million

people are just going to realise how freakish incels are and revile them more

you know..ya..that one la

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Started on this yesterday

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Where was all this money when people needed it before?

Don't trust how nice the government are being

approx 7500*1000?
so rona killed 7500000?

corr

gonna need to buy a few more I reckon if this carries on

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Based doggo, luv 'em

Would've cost 10x more to the economy if everyone lost they're jobs m8

*snores loudly*

What money lad

ROARING
look on this dudes face
can die happy now

wow 7 million out of 1 billion
fuck sakes lads it's literally nothing

Based nigger

the 2nd world war killed between 2-3% of the world's population
the coronavirus has a mortality rate of anywhere between 1-3%
if the coronavirus spreads it is ww2 tier deaths as a percentage
thoughts?

*panic buys all the heroin*

LETS CLOSE ALL THE BORDERS AND ISSUE MARTIAL LAW CAUSE A BUNCH OF OLD PEOPLE ARE AT RISK OF DYING, THIS IS SO TRAGIC ALEXA PLAY BRAD NEELY - FUCK THE HUMANS

WE ARE ALL GONNA FUCKING DIE

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>60%-70% of humanity will be infected
>It kills 6% of patients 65yo or older
>Reinfection causes organic damage in all infected people.
>patient 1 in italy and japan, reinfected
>No immunity is created
>Therefore no vaccine is possible

Lockins begin tomorrow at 7 at the local.

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um achtually he's there for them to do a cover-up, the shop has taken the video as a fake reveal for internet points

t. knower

Something strange happened to me last night. I couldn't wake up or move. But then I thought I was awake, went to the bathroom to take a piss and I saw some short guy I had never seen before standing in my hallway. Then I was back in my bed trying to wake up and I eventually did properly. My heart was racing. It seemed so real.

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>Reinfection

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And all the dickheads are supporting it, I know.

We’re fucked

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ww2 killed predominantly young men
coronavirus kills predominantly people in their 60+

nah
Where's the data from cunt

history of the cpsu

somehow over night developed a pissing fetish

were you sleeping near a mobile phone?

American plugs look weird af

that was me sorry

ive got the 'rona

got a source for this?

>mortality rate of anywhere between 1-3%
Thats if the whole world were infected.
The whole world didn't fight in WWII.

Yes let's allow a pandemic to put hospitals at 1000% capacity for months what could go wrong?

What’s different?

How to convince gf to do arse stuff in the lockdown

how did diego get into your house?

oh my peng
archive.org/details/pcgamer-cdroms

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>let's defeat this virus by causing more damage than it ever could!
the world is fucking retarded

>too lazy to dust his lamp
never gonna make it

ww2 killed the young and brave and strong
covid-19 is killing the old and weak
the biggest danger is the threat to civil liberties
the government will use this to gain absolute power and create a dystopian nightmare for ordinary people

Classic tismo.

It's all about control, do you think you're going to get the right to travel whenever you want ot wherever you want back? LOL!

What’s the free money, nerds

Yeah on my bedside table?

>less than 10 people worldwide got reinfected and they were all geriatrics or had immune deficiencies so therefore vaccines are impossible
Ah yes

ITS A CONSPIRACEEEEE

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ignore it

you work your whole life as a productive member of society you contract corona just after you retire
zoomers rejoice that it's only killing the old people
thoughts?

You were literally abducted paddy

covid-19 is killing everyone

see

>Feel slightly woozy and lightheaded
>Ache in my back and my bollocks
>slightly nauseous

Is this it for me lads?

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schizo mongs

thecommunists.org/2020/03/20/tv/coronavirus-truth-about-overpopulation-herd-immunity-dr-ranjeet-brar-george-galloway-covid-19/

LOL

>I have no food or toilet paper stocked up, no savings, the shops are empty, the government are quarantining us, all work has been stopped for three months at the very least and now my eyes are burning, my nose is running and my chest feels heavy .
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH WHY DID I BECOME A TRADIE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

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I'll have quake please

Nobody said that, autist. Calm down.

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>faggot former toil manager is a faggot
>went of sick with """"""pneumonia"""" last year
>tried to get me sacked earlier this year

Might go back to my former toil and COOF in his face

>publick
Why cant londoners spell

You get 2500 quid a month if you lose work

Phwoooaar

I don't care, it's not like I'd be able to use a hospital even if I were ill. Why the fuck should I give a shit if noone gives a shit about me? I'd love to have few years of dev experience under my belt right about now, to create a mobile app for coordinated infection with COVID-2019 all around the world.

I'm going to beat COVID-19 to it and kill myself before it does. Stay safe, lads.

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I noticed I have weird but very realistic dreams if I don't put my phone on airplane mode before falling asleep.
could be relevant, since the brain sends waves out, it's not that far fetched that receiving waves can interact with things in there.

tismo and schizo, the dynamic duo.

i am also fucked

>the communists
imagine actually calling yourself this in the year of our lord 2020

really wish boris had went full herd immunity

join the cpgbml

zoomers are the worst people to ever exist. minds absolutely fucked from using the internet and social media from a young age.

drinking a dr. pepper cream soda

Stimulus packages from the government, you pikey fuck. For instance, in Australia welfare recipients are getting an extra 750 dollars at the end of this month. I think they're doing something similar in England.

Yah sounds like you've got British citizenship